Who pays for wedding discussion
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Anonymous
| Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person. |
Anonymous
| Start with her. |
Anonymous
| I would rely on my daughter to fill me in after discussing with her finance. Some couples pay for it themselves, some assume you’ll pay for it all. Congratulations to them! |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t dance around it-tell her not sure what their plans are but you’re able to contribute c if they prefer to pay for wedding themselves they can have x (or whatever portion of x) as a wedding present. |
Anonymous
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner. Bride pays for every thing else. If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings. |
Anonymous
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I would start by talking to her and have your budget in mind if you think she might expect something from you. You don’t have to pay for anything, or you could be willing to pay for everything. It doesn’t matter as long as you decide your budget independent of her budget. Know your limits before you start the conversation and be firm with her.
Personally I would offer to buy her dress in x budget but that’s all. I would probably buy her a few things along the way too but only agree on wedding dress up front and use my budget to cover extras I see she really wants as kind of a surprise or extra gift. I think if you’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to pay for it but understand there are different traditions and opinions on this. |
Anonymous
| OP, do you know what you can pay. I assume you've had some budget in mind (kind of like college). We had X amount we could provide. |
Anonymous
x10000000 Over a certain age - couple looks ridiculous if their aging parents have to pay for a wedding! |
Anonymous
Why divvy up the responsibilities if parents aren't paying? |
Anonymous
This was never the rule, but something one group of people did. Please don't perpetuate it. |
Anonymous
| We paid for most of it, and parents contributed. |
Anonymous
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I don't think this requires a meeting. First of all, the groom's parents are typically responsible for the rehearsal dinner, NOT the wedding.
I am likely getting engaged soon, and my parents cannot afford to give me $20-30K for a wedding (nor do I expect them to: I make good money and they funded my entire $$ college education). What they've indicated to me is that they will give me a certain amount (I am assuming around $5K). And I will be extremely appreciative! FWIW, I don't plan on having an overly extravagant wedding anyways. |
Anonymous
| Couple pays for their own wedding. No discussion necessary. |
Anonymous
| Fiancé and I are 33 and 41. First marriage for both of us. We will be paying in its entirety. |
Anonymous
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Congrats to them! OP, if you have an amount you want to contribute as a gift, please let the couple know. That’s all you have to do!
My husband and I planned to pay for our entire wedding ourselves. We researched venues and vendors and set a budget we could afford. We ended up being gifted some very nice contributions from family members- mom paid for dress, father paid for venue, in-laws picked and paid for a florist. These were all offers and we were so thankful. |