Options when you don’t want daycare.

[Anonymous]

I know we could get a good nanny or find a nanny-share but I was wondering if anyone used grandparents as daytime childcare and did it work out? Another option since I work a very flexible job (academic archivist - I could work from home at night if I had to), would be a parent co-op with other parents. I know people did this sort of thing with learning pods during covid.

My baby will be just three months old when we start. Thanks for any ideas!

[Anonymous]

I and two other graduate students and their spouses tried a parent co-op years ago and it didn’t work. Too much scheduling hassle and expense.

A nanny-share worked out great for us. We kept the nanny (still with us) when we had a second baby.

[Anonymous]

How much do you like watching kids, particularly other kids and dealing with other parenting philosophies or their philosophies on your kid? You have to be very low- maintenance and easy going for a co-op because another parent you aren’t paying won’t take kindly to being directed like a nanny. Most that did this during covid had much older/ elementary age children. If you only need 10 or so hours a week it may work, anything more gets hard.

As for a grandparent, once again, how flexible are you? We used a grandparent from age 3-7 months as we waited on a daycare opening. They won’t do it the way you want every time and you have to be ok with that. If it will breed resentment, then it won’t work.

Is your goal to be home more? Or both use traditional care? How laid back are you?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes grandparents work out great and other times it’s a nightmare.

There is a little boy in my kid’s gym class who is cared for by his grandfather and they are adorable together! They clearly love each other and always seem to be laughing. In the winter they wear matching caps!

[Anonymous]

Nobody wants to watch your baby except grandparents. Nanny will care enough to pay attention to your kids but only if you pay them enough. Other parents definitely don't want to do it unless they run in home daycare

[Anonymous]

I have the world’s best parents who are willing to provide FT care but I won’t let them do it. We have a nanny and they do hang out at the house a lot to give her a break or give her individual time with one child (nanny genuinely loves that and loves them). It would seem cheap to me to use them for FT childcare. They need to have their own lives too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to watch your baby except grandparents. Nanny will care enough to pay attention to your kids but only if you pay them enough. Other parents definitely don't want to do it unless they run in home daycare

Not true. I’m a nanny who worked my first job for $18 an hour nine years ago because the family lived a block away and I didn’t need to commute. I worked hard at teaching that child and engaging him. I loved him. I still see him almost weekly (for free) and love him deeply.

Now, I earn $34 and hour but still love my charges and work hard for their happiness and educations.

Money earned doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

I am a single mom and my mother has moved in with us. I work nights as an nurse (7 to 7) so my mom basically just has to be there. It’s worked out great for all of us but I know it’s an unusual circumstance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to watch your baby except grandparents. Nanny will care enough to pay attention to your kids but only if you pay them enough. Other parents definitely don't want to do it unless they run in home daycare

Our nanny loves and appreciates my child far more than my parents do.

[Anonymous]

My mother watched my sister’s baby for the first year of his life and she said never again. When my sister told her they were thinking about having a second baby and asked if she would watch it, she said she would not.

[Anonymous]

How old are grandparents and how is health? A lot of grandparents nowadays in DC are too old to be full time childcare providers especially once your kid is more active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know we could get a good nanny or find a nanny-share but I was wondering if anyone used grandparents as daytime childcare and did it work out? Another option since I work a very flexible job (academic archivist - I could work from home at night if I had to), would be a parent co-op with other parents. I know people did this sort of thing with learning pods during covid.

My baby will be just three months old when we start. Thanks for any ideas!

We used a grandparent as a nanny. My kids have older cousins, and we did it after my second came along, so I already knew he respected DH and my parenting boundaries. I also paid, which felt fair to me, and meant that I felt more comfortable having clear expectations, but he absolutely exceeded them. They are still super close.

Maybe you could do a combination? 3 days of grandparent care, and make up the rest when your spouse is home? Or something like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the world’s best parents who are willing to provide FT care but I won’t let them do it. We have a nanny and they do hang out at the house a lot to give her a break or give her individual time with one child (nanny genuinely loves that and loves them). It would seem cheap to me to use them for FT childcare. They need to have their own lives too.

I'm the PP who used a grandfather for childcare. People can have a job and a life. He needed income, I needed childcare and wanted someone I could trust. Watching my kids was challenging, but easier than the job he was doing right before retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to watch your baby except grandparents. Nanny will care enough to pay attention to your kids but only if you pay them enough. Other parents definitely don't want to do it unless they run in home daycare

Our nanny loves and appreciates my child far more than my parents do.

+1. Our nanny does too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to watch your baby except grandparents. Nanny will care enough to pay attention to your kids but only if you pay them enough. Other parents definitely don't want to do it unless they run in home daycare

Not true. I’m a nanny who worked my first job for $18 an hour nine years ago because the family lived a block away and I didn’t need to commute. I worked hard at teaching that child and engaging him. I loved him. I still see him almost weekly (for free) and love him deeply.

Now, I earn $34 and hour but still love my charges and work hard for their happiness and educations.

Money earned doesn’t matter.

Enough is relative, for you it was $18. Now your price to care is $34.