A vs B
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Anonymous
| If you are a college senior have a BF your age who is sweet and compatible but immature and his professional track needs ten years and several moves before he can be settled vs someone who is mature, settled and as compatible, who would be a better life partner? Is it immature and naive to go with heart, even though long distance or time can break you up anyways. |
Anonymous
| College senior? Date around, girl!! Seriously. |
Anonymous
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I'd rank them according to these factors in order:
1. Kindness 2. Ambition 3. Looks 4. Family money / ability to earn enough for a comfortable living (dovetails into ambition) |
Anonymous
| Option C : the guy who you have not met yet. The guy you're going to meet while you spend the next year adjusting to real adult life. |
Anonymous
| I’d add a few more letters (years and options). |
Anonymous
All four factors are quite similar but B is finishing up professional track and knows where he’ll live and work and earn so no life struggles there. His town has great grad school for my field and lucrative internship opportunities as well. A can’t commit and has many uncertainties on a long path. We may end up in different states and may grow apart or end up with other people so it’s scary. |
Anonymous
If she already has two great guys, why go for randoms? |
Anonymous
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Well, what do you value?
College is your best opportunity to find a life partner who is smart, has your values, and has similar goals. It’s also your best shot at meeting someone who has good earning potential and good potential to be a great parent. Nothing in life is guaranteed, of course. But I sure wish I’d dated more people in college. Once you’re out in the working world, it’s more difficult. |
Anonymous
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The answer is neither. I think E Jean said it https://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/a14781/ask-e-jean-how-do-i-choose-between-the-two-men-who-proposed-to-me/
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Anonymous
I'm assuming a college senior is 21 years old? That is not old enough to pick a person to spend the rest of your life with UNLESS you are 1000% sure. If you are picking solely based on who is ready to settle down and be a good provider, I don't think you have matured enough yet. ...Unless you need a Visa to stay in this country, then in that case, go with Option B. |
Anonymous
Picking your entire life path at 21 sounds boring and dreadful. Go travel the world, make mistakes, dugouts out what YOU want to do, then see if there’s someone who’s life meshes., |
Anonymous
This. Enjoy your 20s. I wish I had. |
Anonymous
I like this one. It’s one thing to date, and even fall in love and get serious, but at that age I would consider it a mistake to get into any relationship that limits your options in terms of where to move, where to go for further school, etc. In my 20s I traveled the world doing odd jobs, went to law school, clerked for a federal judge (a one-year gig where you go wherever you get the job), and then chose among several cities in terms of where I wanted to settle down with a professional career. All of those situations were great experiences that shaped me into who I am today, and I treasure them. It would have been tragic if I missed out because I was dating someone in X location and didn’t want to be apart. Looking at it from the other side, I still got married and had a child (only wanted one), both in my 30s, so I don’t feel that I missed anything on the relationship side by not dating more seriously in my 20s. |
Anonymous
She's not into either of these men. |
Anonymous
IMHO she is very much into A but adults making her consider option B or option XYZ using their experiences and wisdom and unfulfilled dreams. However, looking at all options, unless A is as much as in love as she is, it may not remain an option in a year or two AND it’s the longest route needing most sacrifices. It’s hard to say if it’s worth the sacrifices and still a heartbreak in few years. |