A vs B

[Anonymous]

Nothing is guaranteed in life, whatever she wants is the right choice.

[Anonymous]

Make yourself a checklist of what you want and see how they add up. Don’t settle until you find someone that checks all your must haves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Option C : the guy who you have not met yet. The guy you're going to meet while you spend the next year adjusting to real adult life.

If she already has two great guys, why go for randoms?

She's not into either of these men.

IMHO she is very much into A but adults making her consider option B or option XYZ using their experiences and wisdom and unfulfilled dreams. However, looking at all options, unless A is as much as in love as she is, it may not remain an option in a year or two AND it’s the longest route needing most sacrifices. It’s hard to say if it’s worth the sacrifices and still a heartbreak in few years.

I think if she was really into A, B wouldn't even be an option. She doesn't seem mature enough to be making a decision. A year after she graduates she might be able to

[Anonymous]

Here I am, 20 years later, married to my college boyfriend. He was kind of immature 20 years ago too, and he bounced around from dead end job to dead end job until I steered him toward a career with endless earning potential. Honestly I don't think I cared so much about being wealthy, but I knew he was a dreamer who wanted money to open a bookshop (luckily that morphed into other kinds of shops since obviously that was the beginning of the end for bookshops), invest in real estate, travel, etc. And to do that, you need money.

I was thinking about myself 20 years ago recently. At the time, I was still really hung up on my high school boyfriend. Right after we graduated my college boyfriend (now husband) wanted to date "casually" and see other people, and I was bereft. I recently found emails from my high school boyfriend at that time saying he would hook up with me (how nice, haha) and I didn't care, I just wanted my college boyfriend. I could have sought closure, or just a fun time, with my high school boyfriend, but I knew deep down that that wasn't going anywhere, and it wasn't worth messing up my potential future with my now husband. And I was right . . . we're in our early 40s and high school boyfriend is just now having his kids. I definitely did not have 20 years of waiting in me!

Life hasn't been perfect, but my husband and I have been enormously blessed with wonderful kids, wonderful friends, a wonderful home, etc. I wouldn't change anything because I'm happy today. I knew my husband had the character and intelligence to become a great adult. What I didn't know, tbh, is that you have to *work* to develop life skills like resilience, selflessness, self-awareness, etc. I sort of assumed we'd just turn into grownups by a certain age.

Back to your question . . . if you're not bereft at the thought of being without guy A or guy B, then he's not the guy for you IMO. You can't predict the future; so much of life is a crap shoot. All you can do is trust in yourself, and be discerning in whom you give your trust to.

[Anonymous]

Girl option C - yourself. First of all you grow and change so much in your 20s. You don’t need to pick one now…or ever. I would keep dating the guy you actually love, but take some time to date yourself too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Option C : the guy who you have not met yet. The guy you're going to meet while you spend the next year adjusting to real adult life.

If she already has two great guys, why go for randoms?

She's not into either of these men.

IMHO she is very much into A but adults making her consider option B or option XYZ using their experiences and wisdom and unfulfilled dreams. However, looking at all options, unless A is as much as in love as she is, it may not remain an option in a year or two AND it’s the longest route needing most sacrifices. It’s hard to say if it’s worth the sacrifices and still a heartbreak in few years.

I think if she was really into A, B wouldn't even be an option. She doesn't seem mature enough to be making a decision. A year after she graduates she might be able to

One year imparts infinite wisdom and maturity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Option C : the guy who you have not met yet. The guy you're going to meet while you spend the next year adjusting to real adult life.

If she already has two great guys, why go for randoms?

She's not into either of these men.

IMHO she is very much into A but adults making her consider option B or option XYZ using their experiences and wisdom and unfulfilled dreams. However, looking at all options, unless A is as much as in love as she is, it may not remain an option in a year or two AND it’s the longest route needing most sacrifices. It’s hard to say if it’s worth the sacrifices and still a heartbreak in few years.

I think if she was really into A, B wouldn't even be an option. She doesn't seem mature enough to be making a decision. A year after she graduates she might be able to

One year imparts infinite wisdom and maturity?

One year more than she has now. That first year in the real world is eye opening

[Anonymous]

Real question is why she is wanting to make these sacrifices? It seems she loves A. Why isn’t she sure? She isn’t sure if A will remain sure.

[Anonymous]

She is probably better off single for few years or with B. A on the other side would benefit greatly by having her in his life. B would easily find someone else.

[Anonymous]

If A really values her, he too needs to make some sacrifices to meet her half way instead of expecting her to be the goddess of sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Option D… Graduate and run the streets to get all the hoeing out you can before marriage. After a few years of marriage and a kid or two, you’ll end up on DCUM looking for a divorce lawyer.