SAHMs -- how much housework does your DH help with?

[Anonymous]

Please no flaming about why I shouldn't need help if I'm SAHM-ing.

[Anonymous]

My husband:

Cleans out the dishwasher and does most dishes
All yard work
Throws in loads of laundry for kids, and does his own
Takes care of the cars (washing, waxing)
Does major cooking on weekends (more elaborate dinners, making stock, etc)
Other cleaning (vacuuming, wiping down counters) as needed

[Anonymous]

When I stayed home... zero.

When I worked full-time... maybe 5%, but that came with a lot of cursing about my incompetence.

Now that I work part-time... 2% with more cursing. That's an occasional load of laundry-- just the machines, no folding/putting away.

I had a kid who didn't nap and wouldn't play alone until she was 4, so I can appreciate that sometimes SAHMs can pass whole days without having their hands free.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely nothing. Does not lift a fingerat all. 19:32,sounds like you have a very nice and helpful hubby! I will be curious to see how others answer this poll!

[Anonymous]

He's the primary cook and really enjoys it, so our dinners are always more than what I'd likely manage.
Other than fixing small things around the house, that's it. Doesn't bother me. The cooking part is a big help.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I should add that it bothered me a LOT more before we hired a cleaning person to come regularly.

[Anonymous]

Walks the dog in the am. Mows lawn. Does his own laundry. He'll also bake for others and occasionally makes pancakes or grills for us. It was very hard to not be resentful when the kids were 0-5 years old and I was sleep deprived and working my as$ off 24/7 but not so bad now that they're older. I worry about my kids though because they definitely notice his lack of help around the house.

It amazes me how he can be so oblivious to me running around cleaning, cooking, getting the kids ready, walking the dog etc. , paying bills etc. while he sits there watching tv or on the internet. I do ask for help with household projects and it takes forever - months or years before he gets around to it. He will only do it on his own terms. I honestly don't think he gets it, even though we've discussed it before and he knows it bothers me. His dad did nothing, not one thing, around the house - military and forever away or studying so DH thinks he's doing so much better than his dad and he is doing more but I don't think it's as much as it should be.

One reason he thinks he contributes way more than he actually does is because he likes to volunteer for soccer, Scouts etc. outside the house (likes the positive comments he gets for that). It's really of no benefit to me and only minimal for our kids. That wears him out. He also gets worn out if he spends a few hours with the kids.

19:32 - sounds like you have a great helper on your hands. I'm glad for you

[Anonymous]

PP here
PS I work part-time.

[Anonymous]

He helps out when I'm at my wits end. I try to take responsibility for the majority. But he knows my priority is DC and he knows I need down time when she sleeps. Both our expectations are lower now of what a "spotless" home should look like.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to give my husband a smooch right now!

He brings me coffee and my daughter milk every morning. He picks up toys at the end of the day and tidies the living room. He helps clean the kitchen before bed, if asked. He does trash and cat litter. He folds laundry in front of the TV if i bring it up from the basement and ask. He cooks on the weekends.

Damn, I think I lucked out.

[Anonymous]

Takes trash out when I ask. Walks dogs, yard work (that our mowing service doesn't do), minor repairs, carries laundry up or down stairs, if asked.

Other than that, nothing.

[Anonymous]

I work full-time.

Here's what he does:
Mows lawn, but only when it gets really bad. Only does edging and trim about 2x/year. Yard looks like crap most of the time. I do all the other landscape maintenance.

Takes out trash and recycling, but only when they are completely overflowing.

Does his own laundry, which is mostly a cycle of his crap hanging out of laundry baskets and having no real clue whether stuff is dirty or clean. Most clothes reside on the floor of his closet or laundry room. I do all other family laundry.

Cooks dinner sometimes, but usually more effort for me to clean up than it is worth. Kitchen is just disgusting by the time he gets done. And most things involve some sort of frying, or covering with cheese.

But, he is very handy and can do electrical, drywall, construction, etc. Great if you have 5 years for him to complete a task.

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. OP, I've seen SAHM's who barely cook/clean/kid care or hold up ANY part of the deal! What's the point of being married if there is no partnership? But they are just very needy and lazy to me. They wonder why their DH doesn't respect them. Funny!

I wouldn't feel guilty asking DH to pitch in a bit. Maybe assign him a task?

[Anonymous]

I SAH, and DH:

--mows the lawn
--does all car-related items like going to Jiffy Lube or getting the emissions inspected (granted, that's all only 2-3x/year total but still...)
--carries up heavy things from the basement (I know that sounds silly but we drink a LOT of bottled water since I don't care for the taste of tap, and so he's carrying up lots of gallon jugs frequently)
--unloads the dishwasher maybe 5% of the time (once every couple of weeks and I run it almost every day)
--takes out the trash
--fixes anything that needs fixing and assembles anything that needs assembling

The above is about it, but I will add that he will do pretty much any other task willingly if I specifically ask him, like he will help clean up if we are having people over and I ask him to do x, y and z before the guests arrive, just as an example. I don't know if this counts as housework, but he also routinely gives the kids (two of them) baths, since that is one parenting item that for some reason I just don't really like doing!

[Anonymous]

I SAH, have 1 DC in elementary. So yes, I have tons of no-kid time available to me now. No housekeeper.

DH - cleans a cat box out 1x a week.

1x a week, empties all the little trash cans around the house, consolidates the trash and walks it out to the alley.

Washes his own boxers sometimes.

Stays on top of bills. All the bills.

- - -

That's it, for real. I do all cleaning, pet care, dog walking, cooking every night, yard work, child care, schedule car maintenance.