Can you ever politely ask your in laws to stop buying the kids clothes?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 3.5 and almost 2 and my wonderful mother in law loves buying them clothes. My MIL lives near Disneyworld and the girls have a ridiculous amount of Disney clothes - to the point of other parents mentioning it. And everything is pink!!

My girls truly don’t seem to notice what they’re wearing. They don’t love or hate the clothes. They also have no clue who most of the characters are.

I really love my MIL and don’t want to hurt her. DH says he’ll tell her to just stop but I think that’s too harsh and would hurt her feelings. WWYD?

PS it’s not about Disney or pink. It’s the sameness and sheer amount of clothing.

[Anonymous]

Unless it's not true, you can tell her that the kids' closets are full and you can't fit any more clothes. Could she please just give clothing during birthdays and Christmas (or whatever holidays you celebrate with gift giving)?
Alternatively you could donate or sell the clothes she gives without letting her know and just keep your favorite ones.
Or let her know what your preferred store is. If there's a Carters or whatever near her house, let her know that you love the clothes from that store.

[Anonymous]

I would let the kids wear them once or twice around the house, take photos when they do, keep a few items for visits with in laws, and donate everything else. Plenty of people would love gently used kids’ clothes. Win win.

[Anonymous]

Ps it's not about the volume it is about the pink and Disney or you would not have mentioned it and it's about your inability to shutdown busybody parents

[Anonymous]

I say be happy someone loves your kids and wants to spoil them with gifts. It’s not about the clothes but the thought and love. Be gracious and grateful, let girls wear few times then donate. If someone mentions sameness, pinkness or Disneyness, tell them these are priceless tokens of grandma’s love.

[Anonymous]

Just let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Ps it's not about the volume it is about the pink and Disney or you would not have mentioned it and it's about your inability to shutdown busybody parents

Why spread toxicity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let them.

This. You'll be happy as your kids grow older and want specific items that MIL is willing to buy.

[Anonymous]

A friend gave me an enormous, just enormous, quantity of new Disney clothes when my DD was 4. Her girl couldn’t have cared less, mine wore every article over and over until she was busting out of it like the Hulk. Then we passed it on to a petite friend who wore it all. Point being, it’s okay to say thank you and pass them on. Friend’s MIL never knew and the clothes got the love and appreciation they surely deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let the kids wear them once or twice around the house, take photos when they do, keep a few items for visits with in laws, and donate everything else. Plenty of people would love gently used kids’ clothes. Win win.

This exactly. When my son was about 5 my in laws bought him a girl's red overcoat for Christmas. We took a picture of him in it and sent it to them, then donated it. They didn't have a lot of money, it was the thought and effort that counted, we wouldn't have made them feel bad for anything, we loved them too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say be happy someone loves your kids and wants to spoil them with gifts. It’s not about the clothes but the thought and love. Be gracious and grateful, let girls wear few times then donate. If someone mentions sameness, pinkness or Disneyness, tell them these are priceless tokens of grandma’s love.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let them.

This. You'll be happy as your kids grow older and want specific items that MIL is willing to buy.

I’m not OP, but my mother likes to buy (too many) clothes for my daughters, too. I’ve had some luck saying their closets and drawers are stuffed (and once in a particularly desperate moment sent a photo of the overflow clothes) and a little luck steering her away from categories of clothing (like sundresses, which we get plenty of handed down) but I haven’t had any luck steering her to things they want or need (e.g., bathing suits, athletic wear (softball pants, soccer shorts, etc), jackets and hoodies, etc.), which I guess aren’t as fun for her as browsing racks of discount clothing.

I disagree with just letting them only because it becomes something else to manage/organize/dispose of. If you can limit it in some way, it would help. May you have better luck than I’ve had.

[Anonymous]

A couple of suggestions - accept your in laws enjoy buying your kids stuff but just curb it in a more constructive way.

Thank them for what they're buying, tell them it's better to hold off buying more clothes so your kids have more time to enjoy what they have, but if they feel like buying for your kids they might enjoy xyz.

I have a bit of empathy for over-indulgent in laws just b/c I was an aunt before i was a mother. I was sooooo excited to have a new niece I just constantly wanted to pick up stuff for her...not even big stuff....a shirt, a pair of socks, a rubber toy, a book, etc. I wasn't appropriately mindful of whether all of this was necessary - or the impact of always wanting to bring a 'new surprise' would have on my sister's household.

My sister gently curbed my tendencies (in a way i learned from once i had kids) - i forget when it was, maybe my niece's second birthday - where my sister gently reached out to me and said something to the effect of "i know you love picking things out for Niece Nelly, given her birthday is around the corner, here's some ideas i know she'd love".

I suggest you try the same technique. It curbed my "over-gifting" tendencies with my niece when i was younger and I've used the same now i have my own kids.

[Anonymous]

Let it go

[Anonymous]

Wait, let me get this straight: You’re tired of all the same clothes. You have a spouse that will actually tell his mother to stop. He’s one of these rare DCUM spouses that will actually step in and communicate directly to his mother. And your response is to back off, saying that her feelings will be hurt as if you’re more responsible for managing her feelings than her own son is.

So why in the world are you here? Do you just want to wallow in being a complainer? I know this sounds harsh, but what else could it be? Either take your spouse up on the offer or accept the clothes with zero complaints. You don’t get to dismiss a reasonable solution to your problem AND then keep complaining about the problem.