What's the best way to bring up the "DTR" talk?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing someone for 8 weeks. A friend texted me last night asking if I was still single because there's a guy she wants to set me up with. I genuinely wasn't sure how to answer and want to bring it up with the guy, but don't want to freak him out.

Any tips for how to go about the "Define the Relationship" conversation?

[Anonymous]

If he wanted exclusivity, he would ask. Go out on the date with the other guy.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he wanted exclusivity, he would ask. Go out on the date with the other guy.

+1,000,000!!!

[Anonymous]

OP - what do YOU want? How do you feel? Why are you leaving it up to him?

[Anonymous]

I would go out with the other guy and see if you like them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. I think we should be exclusive and see where this relationship goes."

If you ask instead of tell, you're setting yourself up for potential problems. Say what you want. If they don't want that too, fine, but don't stick around waiting for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. I think we should be exclusive and see where this relationship goes."

If you ask instead of tell, you're setting yourself up for potential problems. Say what you want. If they don't want that too, fine, but don't stick around waiting for it.

Potato/patahto. The script you bolded says clearly "I don't want to date anyone else" before asking. You're conveying the same information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. I think we should be exclusive and see where this relationship goes."

If you ask instead of tell, you're setting yourself up for potential problems. Say what you want. If they don't want that too, fine, but don't stick around waiting for it.

Potato/patahto. The script you bolded says clearly "I don't want to date anyone else" before asking. You're conveying the same information.

Not really. By asking, you sound like your mind can be changed and you're not sure if you should be exclusive yet. The idea is to convey it's exclusivity now, or it's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he wanted exclusivity, he would ask. Go out on the date with the other guy.

+1,000,000!!!

+1. 8 weeks is nothing. Until you are exclusive, keep dating other people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. I think we should be exclusive and see where this relationship goes."

If you ask instead of tell, you're setting yourself up for potential problems. Say what you want. If they don't want that too, fine, but don't stick around waiting for it.

Potato/patahto. The script you bolded says clearly "I don't want to date anyone else" before asking. You're conveying the same information.

Not really. By asking, you sound like your mind can be changed and you're not sure if you should be exclusive yet. The idea is to convey it's exclusivity now, or it's over.

Yep. Need to be upfront with the ultimatum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he wanted exclusivity, he would ask. Go out on the date with the other guy.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

It's been two months. You're single. Go on the date. Report back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to meet this other guy? Then don't bring it up and go on a date with him. If the offer made you realize that you don't want to be with anyone other than current guy, bring it up that way.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. What are your thoughts on being exclusive?" and let the conversation flow from there.

"Larla offered to set me up with her college friend, and it made me realize how glad I am I met you, because I don't want to date anyone else. I think we should be exclusive and see where this relationship goes."

If you ask instead of tell, you're setting yourself up for potential problems. Say what you want. If they don't want that too, fine, but don't stick around waiting for it.

Potato/patahto. The script you bolded says clearly "I don't want to date anyone else" before asking. You're conveying the same information.

Not really. By asking, you sound like your mind can be changed and you're not sure if you should be exclusive yet. The idea is to convey it's exclusivity now, or it's over.

Yep. Need to be upfront with the ultimatum.

Oh yes, issuing ultimatum 8 weeks in is sure to work out well.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. All of these responses are catering to what your boyfriend thinks feels or intends.

OP, do you want to go out on a date with somebody else? Do you feel that you want to keep your options open? Do you feel entitled to date as many people as you would like until YOU are ready to define the relationship??

The responses on this post sound like they are from 1951.