Is Breastfeeding Worth It?
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Anonymous
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My first was formula fed, because breastfeeding didn't work for us. My second was breastfed because breastfeeding did work for us. My first was a slightly better sleeper, but that was because she took a pacifier, so when she woke in the middle of the night, she used the pacifier to soothe. My second did not take a pacifier, but was still "STTN" by 6 months (but woke up around 4:30 or 5 because he couldn't connect the last sleep cycle) and was sleeping until 6:30 by 10 months.
The benefits of formula (for ME) was that I didn't have to worry about timing my life around when I'd have to pump or nurse. That's less of an issue if you're comfortable nursing in public. I also didn't have to worry about my supply, which was a huge source of anguish the first few months. I knew baby was getting the nutrients she needed, and was able to make sure she was completely full. I also dropped the baby weight much faster. My baby took formula cold or at room temp, which also made life easier. The benefits of breastfeeding was that I didn't have to buy formula, and I didn't have to do dishes. It also helped that it was during COVID times, so we were always home, and when I did go back to work, I was in an empty office or in my house, so pumping wasn't a hassle. It's impossible to know what will work for you until the baby comes. You can come up with a plan for how you think you want everything to go, and who knows, maybe it'll work, but so much of the first few weeks is adapting and surviving. Be flexible. I know when I was fixated on "breast is best" I was miserable trying to build and maintain a supply. Or when I was adamant about doing "drowsy but awake" it meant I was awake 10x as long waiting for the baby to finally settle and fall asleep, than if I'd just rocked/nursed them to sleep the first time. |
Anonymous
Research doesnt support that but Im glad you are able to use these wonderful terms to show that you just dont want a baby to interrupt your schedule and that breastfed babies are "bad" because of breastfeeding (breastfed= clingy, high needs, cranky but formula= great, happy, scheduled). Youre going into this with your own bias. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3927438/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17700096/ https://internationalbreastfeedingjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13006-020-00347-z https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00431-011-1659-3 https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/bfm.2014.0153 Your compounding a lot of factors and reducing the outcome down to either breastfed or formula fed as if thats the ONLY variable in play when it comes to temperament, sleep needs, maternal sleep needs and therefore deprivation, genetics, etc. |
Anonymous
One of those studies states: "There were no significant differences in time spent asleep between lactating and non lactating mothers, though lactating mothers had more time awake at night. Lactating mothers spent more time (8.5 h weekly) in childcaring activity (p = 0.007), and in employment (2.7 vs. 1.2 h, p < 0.01), but there were no significant differences in free time. Those not breastfeeding spent more time in unpaid domestic work. Exclusive breastfeeding was associated with reduced maternal sleep hours (average 7.08 h daily). Again, free time did not differ significantly between feeding groups. Exclusively breastfeeding mothers experienced reduced sleep hours, but maintained comparable leisure time to other mothers by allocating their time differently. Domestic work hours differed, interacting in complex ways with infant age and feeding practice." |
Anonymous
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Something I feel like doesn't get talked about enough is that breastfeeding/formula feeding doesn't need to be an either/or situation. I was not initially excited about breastfeeding but decided to try; my baby had a great latch, which surprised me b/c of how difficult latching was for some of my friends' kids, so that 'ease' made me want to stick with it more. My baby lost 11% of his birth weight, so the doctors suggested we supplement and WOW was it such a relief, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I stopped stressing about feeling solely responsible for his eating and I knew for at least a few feedings exactly how much he was eating -- this made the times I was breastfeeding more enjoyable, and I came to love the connection our breastfeeding sessions helped me to foster with him. It also gave me the chance to explore pumping in a less stressful way, which I think also helped my supply increase. We eventually stopped the formula because breastfeeding became easier (and cheaper!) than making bottles, but I don't think I would have breastfed as long as I have (currently at 5.5 months) if it wasn't for the formula. There are lots of extreme opinions out there, but for me, finding a middle ground has been really, really helpful.
Unrelated to the above but wanted to share, I read on a mommy blog re: breastfeeding: don't stop on a bad day. This really stuck with me and has helped my mindset with a number of things in this motherhood journey. |
Anonymous
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I find breastfeeding to be much easier and more convenient once you get used to latching (this took work!) and milk supply settles. I had to get the hang of it in the first month but then really appreciated not having to clean pumps and bottles often and being able to go out with the baby without bringing extra stuff for pumping and feeding. People can have very different experiences, though.
Try it for a while and see how it goes if you are open to that. You can always do a combo of both, too. Formula or nursing, you can’t sleep train an infant. In the first few months they are doing a lot of sleeping and eating and there is not, and shouldn’t be, a strict schedule for that. |
Anonymous
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Formula or breastfed, you should be feeding your baby every 2-3hrs at first. Formula or breastfed, it is very possible for your one year old to sleep through the night. My (breastfed) 4 month old sleeps through the night and has for a while. We have not done any sleep training measures and have not taken these measures until 6 months minimum with our other kids.
Formula feed if that is what works best for you but it’s not a secret cheat code to having an easy baby. |
Anonymous
And your point is......? What? I said that breastfed vs formula is not the only variable. SAH vs WOH matters. Family support vs solo. Partner vs no partner involvement. Domestic duties, wealth, friendships, etc. Each study I posted showed a different result because each cohort is different but the resounding agreement is that there is not really a statistical difference between formula and breastfeeding moms- in the study above lactating moms may work more and perform more childcare but they perform less domestic duties. Childcare duties and domestic are both unpaid so to me (again) its a personal choice and decision for each family. All these anecdotal differences compound together and even out. The most clingy maladjusted baby I have ever met was a formula fed Taking Cara Babies sleep trained kid. Your experience and others on this board may be different. |
Anonymous
No, you were specifically commenting on infant sleep. And let me see the studies that look at maternal mental health and actually consider the mother as a person who does labor, and see how much breastfeeding actually costs. |
Anonymous
No, it's not a cheat to having an easy baby. But the father or other caregiver giving bottles (formula or pumped milk) without pressuring the mother to feel she has to "maintain her supply overnight" IS a way for the mother to get more sleep ASAP. I literally could not have survived without it. |
Anonymous
| I struggled for the first month but I thought breastfeeding was easier than formula. If baby cried, I just gave her my boob. I didn’t have to go to the kitchen and prepare the bottle in the middle of the night. I also didn’t have to pack formula when I went out with her. |
Anonymous
| I nursed until 15 months and it never became "worth it" to me. I hated nursing in public/in cramped spaces. DD took a long time to nurse as a newborn, then quickly became a distracted nurser. Pumping was uncomfortable, distracting and time consuming. It made it very difficult for DH and my parents to truly take care of her and impossible for me to take a real break. Giving her a bottle in the car was infinitely easier and faster than stopping to nurse on road trips. I kept it up because I wanted to follow the AAP recommendations. I now think they are BS. |
Anonymous
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I did not enjoy it. My life (everyone’s lives!!!) became so much better after I stopped forcing myself to breastfeed and pump. My husband and I had a much more equal division of baby care, and I got (relatively) good sleep because he and others could care for the baby. All of those things made it not worth it to me.
Oh and she’s two now and still has never had a single cold, let alone a more serious illness. The research about antibodies is mixed at best. |
Anonymous
And the excerpt you responded with talked about maternal sleep which actually doesnt have a direct correlation/causation on infant sleep and vice versa. They are related but you cant say that bc a breastfeeding mother sleeps less total on average that her infant sleeps less. Infant sleep is not the only variable. Maternal mental health research also has no clear guidance on whether breastfeeding or formula feeding results in better outcomes due to differences in social and cultural factors and support and more importantly, PP leave, pay, and support care policies. Pregnancy itself can result in mood disorders regardless of breastfeeding status. There is no real control for pregnancy and postpartum mental health because if you only compare breastfeeding vs formula feeding you arent measuring pregnancy outcomes on mental health and anyone who has been pregnant that has not resulted in taking a child home has other factors besides pregnancy, even with cases of planned adoption. Pregnancy and postpartum is one of the most difficult transition periods in life. This BS about breastfeeding or formula feeding is so inane when there are real concerns and issues, especially facing women in the US and most importantly, the poor, underinsured, and minority women. Can we get some attention on substantial leave policies, pelvic floor therapy coverage, support nurses who provide weekly visits to mom and baby in the first 3 months, funding and research into pregnancy and postpartum, etc.? All of these posts end the same way Breastfeeding is worth it if you decide to do it and it works for your family. Formula feeding is worth it if you decide to do it and it works for your family. If no one can tell who was breastfed vs formula fed at 9 years old then it seems to reason that there are no apparent differences at 9 months either. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I was looking back at this old thread and wow had the time passed. Things did not go as planned with my first but is with my second. |
Anonymous
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OP here. I had to EP after nursing didn’t go well. I had a huge supply and was able to pump and save a lot of milk. I pumped for 6 months and started 1 bottle of formula a day. Baby was able to get 2 bottles of breast milk a day until 1 year. I had my second son last month and breastfeeding took really well after the first two weeks. I still feed a bottle of formula or pumped milk a day.
As for sleep, my first was a solid sleeper with no sleep training ever needed. Slept in the Snoo until 4 months and then the crib. He started sleeping 3-4 hour stretches after 2 weeks, 4-5 by 1 month, 5-8 by 2 months, 11 by 3 months, and 12 by 6 months. He is 22 months and still sleeps 12 hours with a 2 hour nap. My second is also a solid sleeper, though still waking up every 4 hours at night. He also doesn’t nap as long as my first. I still got 2 easy chill babies. |