Ok to leave 10 and 12yo in hotel room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've left our 10 year old son and his best friend, a girl his age alone together in a hotel room for a few hours many times (our families vacation together every year), usually just when we go for a drink at the bar in the evening with her parents. We leave a do not disturb sign on the door, we leave a phone there so we can check in with them and we remind them they need to be be quiet so they don't disturb other guests. They usually just watch a movie together on my son's tablet before we get back. There's never been any problems, so I'm fine with it.

Parenting advice from an alcoholic ladies and gentlemen...

One drink at a hotel bar in the evening means an alcoholic? great logic there.

I agree, my husband and I go for drinks at the bar in the evening during family vacations when the kids go to sleep, we have one or two beers every other day and that's it. Saying the parents are alcoholics is really jumping to conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not considered that the 10 and 12yo would reasonably be annoyed that they still have DL while younger sibling not only doesn't have school, but they and you will gallivant off to do whatever else?

I homeschooled 3 this year: 4th and twin kindergarten. There was a vast difference in the time the older child NEEDED to complete their schoolwork vs the younger two. However, I also understood that it was better to have the twins do some fun educational games that the 4th grader would perceive as school while the twins would appreciate as play time. Setting up the older kids like that seems to be begging for them to skip school to watch TV instead.

No, my older kids don’t get jealous or feel left out of preschool outings.

My kids are pretty good with virtual school. I was just going to leave them home but now my middle child wants to come too.

Agreed. (Except my older kids are in elementary school.)

I think it’s a little bizarre that a fourth grader needed to see his kindergarten siblings do work to be convinced to do his own work. This shows a pronounced lack of emotional maturity.

Personally, I think it's more about feeling left out by her younger siblings if they're playing, combined with already feeling lonely due to homeschooling during covid and not socializing enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you not considered that the 10 and 12yo would reasonably be annoyed that they still have DL while younger sibling not only doesn't have school, but they and you will gallivant off to do whatever else?

I homeschooled 3 this year: 4th and twin kindergarten. There was a vast difference in the time the older child NEEDED to complete their schoolwork vs the younger two. However, I also understood that it was better to have the twins do some fun educational games that the 4th grader would perceive as school while the twins would appreciate as play time. Setting up the older kids like that seems to be begging for them to skip school to watch TV instead.

Ugh, no. Just no. Don't be the mom who raises her kids to believe that they all should be treated 100% equally. Especially with twins. Sometimes one kid gets to go to a sleepover and the others won't. That is life.

My son's best friend growing up was a twin. They were lucky enough to be in the same class for K-2 & 5 and he had the other twin in his class for 4th. Anyway, whenever my son wanted to have a playdate with his best friend, Twin A, Twin B also always had to be invited. This was at the mom's insistence to keep things fair. My son and Twin B got along fine, but were not best friends and honestly, didn't have the same interests.

When the twins were older Twin A was playing travel baseball on the same team as my son, we still had to take Twin B with us when we chaperoned out of town for a weekend tournament in order to be fair. Same with when we wanted Twin A to go to the beach with us.

I'm PP. Fair doesn't necessarily mean equal.

She's absolutely right that she had full day kindergarten, and they don't. She also would be very upset to be left out of something that her sisters enjoy, not because it would appeal to her on her own, but because she enjoys having fun with her siblings and doing things with them at their level...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

And the hotel will kick you out if they find out.

You are kidding right?

Most state laws allow kids over the age of 8 to stay home alone. heck, I was babysitting toddlers at night when i was 12.

A hotel is not home...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way! Do people really think this is okay?

Absolutely. We have done this in Mexico at those ages. They want to sleep in and we have gone to walk on the beach with coffee. We come back and they are up and watching tv.

The only change I would make is let them skip school and enjoy vacation. Is it the last week? They aren’t missing anything in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way! Do people really think this is okay?

I am actual more shocked that people don't think this is ok.

They are 10 and 12 not toddlers.

I already replied that I think it’s okay and we do this. We have also been looking into letting them fly alone to see their grandparents. I know people who have let their kids fly alone at younger ages than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way! Do people really think this is okay?

I am actual more shocked that people don't think this is ok.

They are 10 and 12 not toddlers.

I already replied that I think it’s okay and we do this. We have also been looking into letting them fly alone to see their grandparents. I know people who have let their kids fly alone at younger ages than this.

I'm one of the people who said this is not ok, and I let my kids fly alone cross country (grandparents live in California) when they were that age and younger. Most airlines allow a minor to just fly alone (without paying for the "unaccompanied minor escort" at the age of 14, but United allows it at 12, or at least they did when my kids were that age. My kids have flown alone (without the escort) at 12, and with the escort at younger ages, in accordance with the airline policy.

Flying on an airplane as an unaccompanied minor with the airline's knowledge and consent is not the same thing as leaving minors alone in a hotel room (while you are miles away at a museum) in direction violation of a hotel's policies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

And the hotel will kick you out if they find out.

You are kidding right?

Most state laws allow kids over the age of 8 to stay home alone. heck, I was babysitting toddlers at night when i was 12.

A hotel is not home...

At least in Maryland, and probably elsewhere, the law does not specify that it must be at home.

Maryland Family Law Article §5-801(a):
A person who is charged with the care of a child under the age of 8 years may not allow the child to be locked or confined in a dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle while the person charged is absent and the dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle is out of the sight of the person charged unless the person charged provides a reliable person at least 13 years old to remain with the child to protect the child.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid and the place.

Are you in the United States in a safe town with very mature and responsible children?

In this case, I would leave the kids for one hour max at a time within WALKING distance only (God forbid you get in a car accident) and leave an OPEN cell phone line the entire time. This means that you have a phone call OPEN that is ON SPEAKER phone so you can hear it and in your ear on your side so you are ALWAYS aware of what is happening. If you hear ANY arguing, you immediately return (you are a 5-10 minute walk), you hang up and call back so it rings on their side and they know to answer.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I would do this. And I leave my kids at those ages home along all the time. The difference is - in our house, they know how to get out, I know the house is secure and they know who to call or which neighbors to go to for help. They don't have any of this in a hotel room in a different city.