If you had sex in high school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I waited until college, and a serious boyfriend. That was all well and good, but he broke up with me towards the end of senior year and it messed me up for several years after that (probably a combo of the breakup, graduating and moving to a new place, losing that college community, and hitting real life all combined). In hindsight, I wish I had dated more in high school, and perhaps lost my virginity toward the end of it, and then dated more guys in college. My daughters are young, but I hope I have strength to be frank with them as they enter their teenage years, and to not make them ashamed of sex like I was brought up. But I still hope they wait 7ntil their later teens because emotionally I think it’s harder (for girls) younger. I kind of want them to get through that “first love” period sooner so they don’t miss out on meeting and dating (not necessarily having sex with them) lots of boys and men while they are young, single and in a period of life when there are plenty of potential partners to meet. That, to me, is the best way to figure out who you are and what YOU want, so that when you pick your life partner, you’re more likely to pick one that will last.

Just flagging that girls can also be into and date and have sex with girls. I am bi. I was closeted for a long time and wish I got more experience with girls before I met my now husband.

Just saying, if you're going to be open with your daughter and accepting, be accepting of all possibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I waited until college, and a serious boyfriend. That was all well and good, but he broke up with me towards the end of senior year and it messed me up for several years after that (probably a combo of the breakup, graduating and moving to a new place, losing that college community, and hitting real life all combined). In hindsight, I wish I had dated more in high school, and perhaps lost my virginity toward the end of it, and then dated more guys in college. My daughters are young, but I hope I have strength to be frank with them as they enter their teenage years, and to not make them ashamed of sex like I was brought up. But I still hope they wait 7ntil their later teens because emotionally I think it’s harder (for girls) younger. I kind of want them to get through that “first love” period sooner so they don’t miss out on meeting and dating (not necessarily having sex with them) lots of boys and men while they are young, single and in a period of life when there are plenty of potential partners to meet. That, to me, is the best way to figure out who you are and what YOU want, so that when you pick your life partner, you’re more likely to pick one that will last.

Just flagging that girls can also be into and date and have sex with girls. I am bi. I was closeted for a long time and wish I got more experience with girls before I met my now husband.

Just saying, if you're going to be open with your daughter and accepting, be accepting of all possibilities.

+1

[Anonymous]

Did not do it in HS. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So disgusting how you all are romanticizing this. Are you going to think it’s ok when your 15 year old says they are sexually active? This lack of morals is astounding

As long as the 15 year old is being safe and doing it with someone in a committed relationship and its totally consensual, I'd be okay with it.

Lack of morals? I think its immoral to tell kids to not have sex and the deny when they do...

My daughter is 15 and is a freshman. No way

+1

I’m astounded by the posters on here acting as if it’s ok

Every person’s journey is different.

Proven fact abstinence does work. (opps Does Not Work)

No one is pushing there 15 year old to have sex. But chastising young ladies is absurd.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those who had sex as HS teens and also had multiple partners, did that help you in being better spouse when you got married?

In other words, did it prevent marital strife and divorce - since you were adept in adult relationships?

Pp who lost virginity at 16. Got married at 29, had 1 kid at 30. Divorced at 36. Had maybe 20 partners before ex. Maybe 15. Ugh. Something like that. Lots of people are selfish jerks. I married a narcissist who is malignant and abusive. So, the answer to your question is no. Sex in HS and adult relationships did not help me pick a good partner.

What would have helped is a mother who was honest and shared her stories when appropriate. What also would have helped is a set of parents capable of modeling a good relationship. In the absence of those things, only time can help. Encouraging people to wait a bit before every step. As an adult, it will take many dates before I have sex with someone. Before I become exclusive. More and more before I move in or get engaged, married, kids, etc. Watch how people change every step of the way. There should not be large problems up front.

[Anonymous]

The only people I can recall that didn’t have sex in high school were the religious nuts and the hopeless losers. Why would there be any regrets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those who had sex as HS teens and also had multiple partners, did that help you in being better spouse when you got married?

In other words, did it prevent marital strife and divorce - since you were adept in adult relationships?

My early activity was triggered by the abandonment of my family by my father, I can now see, many years later. I used sex and relationships with males to fill my emotional needs. That being said, I am glad I did this before I met my now husband. I had gotten more confidence, knew what I would and wouldn’t accept from my partner, and value his importance in our family. 30 years going strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So disgusting how you all are romanticizing this. Are you going to think it’s ok when your 15 year old says they are sexually active? This lack of morals is astounding

Agree [phone]

The posters on here pretending that 15 is old enough!!!!

So what is old enough?

[Anonymous]

I regret it because I didn't know enough about my body to really enjoy it but I thought it was what I was supposed to do. My parents didn't talk to me about sex being pleasurable I just wasn't supposed to do it because pregnancy. Wait for marriage.

[Anonymous]

I feel fine and dandy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel fine and dandy about it.

Also, while I never physically had sex IN the high school, the ridiculous places we DID have sex were a lot of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. Just bc it started in HS doesn’t mean I had a large number of partners. Is that your implication?

No implication. I am just asking if you had regrets (wish you waited for better circumstances or better partner, for two examples).

I HAVE had a large number of partners, and I don't have any regrets about this, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So disgusting how you all are romanticizing this. Are you going to think it’s ok when your 15 year old says they are sexually active? This lack of morals is astounding

Agree [phone]

The posters on here pretending that 15 is old enough!!!!

So what is old enough?

Stop equating sex with morals. If two people are consenting to have sex there is nothing immoral about it. Grow up.

I will give you that 15-year-olds probably don't know how to enjoy it, but I certainly will not vilify them if they have sex.

[Anonymous]

More sex partners before marriage associated with higher divorce rates.

[Anonymous]

I was 16 and he was a really good guy. Even still part of me wishes I would've waited but I'm not upset with the experience.