Missing child from NJ- Dulce Alvarez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My heart goes out to this family and little girl. All of us have taken our eyes off our children. This weekend we were at my son’s game with my daughter playing on the side of the field. I turned around and she was gone. Like nowhere in site. My first thought wasn’t to scream or call 911. I had a feeling of panic but my rational self said she was playing somewhere on the crowded sidelines. So I went looking all over and it was a good 15 min later when I found her sitting back where I had left. She saw a friend from her class and went to see her. They weren’t far but I didn’t see them. My point is, parents take their eyes off their kids and it is almost always okay. This time it wasn’t for this little one and my heart breaks for them.

The difference is that you were right there with your daughter and you did locate her within 15 minutes. I agree that sort of thing does happen. It happened to me once and the time I spent looking for my son was maybe 5 minutes - it felt like an eternity. The panic was building when I suddenly saw him thank God.

Dulce may have been gone for 10 or 15 minutes before her mother even started to look for her and by the time she actually called the cops her daughter had been gone for an hour or more.

I'm not going to beat that 19 year old mother up. She used some very poor judgement but she is not responsible for a stranger abducting her child.

The difference is that PP's daughter was there to be located. I'm not saying the 19 year old was exercising the best possible judgment but it's not so terrible as to be neglect, either. Not like she dropped the kid off and went to smoke dope for a few hours and then came back. (Actually I think her leaving a 3 year old on the playground is worse.)

Anyone who says they have never taken their eyes off their children either is lying or has only one child and is neurotic to boot. I have a five year old who has walked away from me while I'm paying for his shoes at a counter. Am I supposed to have a 5 year old on a leash? Yeah, I punished him afterward, but the point is he walked away of his own volition while I was engaged in procuring things he needs for his daily life. Or if I take him and his 3 year old sister to the playground, and I'm pushing the 3 year old on the swing, it would be easy for him to slip off. Kids do stuff. I know I did as a kid. Heck, I used to cut chapel as a 13 year old (religious school, chapel 3 days a week) and go for a walk off campus, and slip back in when I knew chapel was ending. It never occurred to me that anything could happen to me from a safety perspective and if it had, no one would even have known I'd been off campus.

All you can do is try to train your kids not to do this and pray that nothing bad happens to them on the inevitable occasions when they disobey.

IF this all went down exactly the way that this mother has described she was, at best, careless. Her delay in calling the police may very well helped her child's abductor to elude capture.

She made some errors in judgement. She is not responsible for her daughter being abducted.

IF, however, there is more going on and the mom knows something that she isn't telling the police then I'm not sure what to think. Her story sounds fishy to me but that might be because she is so young and does not have the best judgement.

Well, sure, if she had some involvement such as trafficking her daughter, of course she would bear responsibility. That's got nothing to do with the question of whether she "deserved" to lose her kid because she let a five year old play on the playground without her. A lot of PPs are claiming that they have eyes on their kids at all times and anyone who doesn't is neglectful and that is just not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My heart goes out to this family and little girl. All of us have taken our eyes off our children. This weekend we were at my son’s game with my daughter playing on the side of the field. I turned around and she was gone. Like nowhere in site. My first thought wasn’t to scream or call 911. I had a feeling of panic but my rational self said she was playing somewhere on the crowded sidelines. So I went looking all over and it was a good 15 min later when I found her sitting back where I had left. She saw a friend from her class and went to see her. They weren’t far but I didn’t see them. My point is, parents take their eyes off their kids and it is almost always okay. This time it wasn’t for this little one and my heart breaks for them.

The difference is that you were right there with your daughter and you did locate her within 15 minutes. I agree that sort of thing does happen. It happened to me once and the time I spent looking for my son was maybe 5 minutes - it felt like an eternity. The panic was building when I suddenly saw him thank God.

Dulce may have been gone for 10 or 15 minutes before her mother even started to look for her and by the time she actually called the cops her daughter had been gone for an hour or more.

I'm not going to beat that 19 year old mother up. She used some very poor judgement but she is not responsible for a stranger abducting her child.

The difference is that PP's daughter was there to be located. I'm not saying the 19 year old was exercising the best possible judgment but it's not so terrible as to be neglect, either. Not like she dropped the kid off and went to smoke dope for a few hours and then came back. (Actually I think her leaving a 3 year old on the playground is worse.)

Anyone who says they have never taken their eyes off their children either is lying or has only one child and is neurotic to boot. I have a five year old who has walked away from me while I'm paying for his shoes at a counter. Am I supposed to have a 5 year old on a leash? Yeah, I punished him afterward, but the point is he walked away of his own volition while I was engaged in procuring things he needs for his daily life. Or if I take him and his 3 year old sister to the playground, and I'm pushing the 3 year old on the swing, it would be easy for him to slip off. Kids do stuff. I know I did as a kid. Heck, I used to cut chapel as a 13 year old (religious school, chapel 3 days a week) and go for a walk off campus, and slip back in when I knew chapel was ending. It never occurred to me that anything could happen to me from a safety perspective and if it had, no one would even have known I'd been off campus.

All you can do is try to train your kids not to do this and pray that nothing bad happens to them on the inevitable occasions when they disobey.

IF this all went down exactly the way that this mother has described she was, at best, careless. Her delay in calling the police may very well helped her child's abductor to elude capture.

She made some errors in judgement. She is not responsible for her daughter being abducted.

IF, however, there is more going on and the mom knows something that she isn't telling the police then I'm not sure what to think. Her story sounds fishy to me but that might be because she is so young and does not have the best judgement.

Well, sure, if she had some involvement such as trafficking her daughter, of course she would bear responsibility. That's got nothing to do with the question of whether she "deserved" to lose her kid because she let a five year old play on the playground without her. A lot of PPs are claiming that they have eyes on their kids at all times and anyone who doesn't is neglectful and that is just not true.

eh, the problem is that she did not have her eye on her kids period. She didn't just turn away, her 3 year old had to tell his mom that his sister was gone. At this point she could have been abducted, hit by a car and lying in a ditch somewhere, fallen into a creek and drowned. We just don't know.

Not that long ago there was an incident where a father was on a trail with his autistic son, the boy started running fast, went around a bend in the trail and the father lost track of him. That little guy wound up being found face down in a creek. The father was being truthful, he had his eye on his child but the child ran out of his sight. It does happen.

With Dulce it is just not clear what happened because the mom wasn't keeping an eye on her.

[Anonymous]

Is it odd the very person who could say something, anything about who took this little girl, is the 3 year old brother who doesn't/can't speak?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it odd the very person who could say something, anything about who took this little girl, is the 3 year old brother who doesn't/can't speak?

What? Where did you hear that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the authorities talked to the little brother? Not that a 3 year old can always be a reliable "witness..."
How convenient that the child who would have been a more reliable witness (the 9 year old sibling) was in the car instead of playing with the other kids.

The mom is only 19. She didn't have a kid at 10. The 9 year old is her sibling's kid.

And they have detained the mom's boyfriend, an illegal immigrant from Mexico. But he's being held by ICE, not local police, so he apparently didn't do it and is just being deported.

No, she just had a kid at 14. And another one at 16. And is pregnant again. So we can deduce from this that she has excellent judgement.

Sheesh! Take the pill or use a condom for heavens sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the F was the mom not on the playground with a FIVE and THREE year old?!? That’s absurd.

This is common in some placed. One time I was on the verge of tears because a little hispanic boy around 4 or 5 was playing with us and it was about 50 degrees out and super windy and he had on shorts, tshirt, flip flops. The wind made it really cold and the poor child was out there completely alone. As we left he ran past us to a van and a lady was in there sleeping/nodding off. She looked to me to be on heroin. Thankfully she let him in the van when he knocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hold nothing against the mother. 99.999% of the time you can let your kids play 30 yards away on a playground and nothing will happen. Stranger abduction is exceedingly rare.

It is also reasonable to assume the little girl is playing hide and seek or ran off and got lost. Looking for her on your own makes sense. Mom wouldn't have been thinking abduction.

Mom's current boyfriend is here illegally. Calling police has big implications for her but she did it as soon as she had searched and couldn't find the child. Police arrested him and turned him over to ICE (some outlets say he has been released in good faith as many in that neighborhood are here illegally and they want community members to talk). They are saying there is now an amnesty but arresting him immediately didn't help the police's case.

Grandparents had custody of the 5 and 3 year old likely due to mom's age. It really makes no difference as to who mom is or her age or anything - as it doesn't look like any of that is related to the disappearance.

Police don't know for sure if she got into the van. They are still investigating. They were able to find many people who were in the vicinity that day though reviewing camera footage but that is a painstaking task. Hopefully more information surfaces.

If this was a straight stranger abduction (not drug or mom related in any way) that is worse news and stats would say this little one is already gone. There is always a chance now.

Regardless of any ones' age or life choices, a little girl is missing and family is devastated and in great distress.

Stranger abduction is SO RARE. It is overwhelmingly usually the mother's paramour in these situations. I 100% agree with ICE for picking him up initially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it odd the very person who could say something, anything about who took this little girl, is the 3 year old brother who doesn't/can't speak?

Exactly. This "mother" knew exactly what she was doing, remaining in the car with the 8/9 year old relative (who could have provided a more accurate description of the "kidnapper.")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Nailed it.

+1000

Bingo. It's an other, so the mother did something wrong.

Oh bull. If some bleach blond high society mom sent her young children off to play while she stayed in the car and then waited AN HOUR to call 911 - she would be judged very harshly.

If anything this young 19 year old mother is being given a pass because she is so young and had so much on her plate. What she did was pretty stupid but she's also little more than a kid herself and kids sometimes do stupid, careless things.

Hear me out: you turn around at the playground, lose sight of your kids. Kid says mom, I can’t find sibling. You don’t IMMEDIATELY call 911. You assume kid is around there somewhere and look like heck. It’s a big park, she probably thought she would be able to find her. An abduction isn’t your first thought, it’s that she’s lost or hiding somewhere. By the time you realize oh sh*t we really can’t find her and she’s not here, a good amount of time could have passed. Let’s not forget too she’s Hispanic and for brown people in this political climate, calling the police is not an easy or safe proposition. She probably waited until she absolutely knew she had to resort to that to do so.

Has nothing to do with "being brown" and everything to do with the fact that she knows she is a lawbreaker and doesn't want to call the cops on herself. The terrible thing is that she was worried about herself over the safety of her daughter.

[Anonymous]

There is more to this story for sure. Why wouldn't they take the 3 yr old as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the authorities talked to the little brother? Not that a 3 year old can always be a reliable "witness..."
How convenient that the child who would have been a more reliable witness (the 9 year old sibling) was in the car instead of playing with the other kids.

The mom is only 19. She didn't have a kid at 10. The 9 year old is her sibling's kid.

And they have detained the mom's boyfriend, an illegal immigrant from Mexico. But he's being held by ICE, not local police, so he apparently didn't do it and is just being deported.

No, the 9 year old is the MOM'S SIBLING. Her parent's daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is more to this story for sure. Why wouldn't they take the 3 yr old as well?

It sounds as though some of the details about what happened have changed a bit.

I would love to know who the witness was who claims to have seen a man luring Dulce towards the red van.

Red pants, orange shoes ....that's quite an outfit that the kidnapper was wearing.

[Anonymous]

^apparently that description did not come from the 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the authorities talked to the little brother? Not that a 3 year old can always be a reliable "witness..."
How convenient that the child who would have been a more reliable witness (the 9 year old sibling) was in the car instead of playing with the other kids.

The mom is only 19. She didn't have a kid at 10. The 9 year old is her sibling's kid.

And they have detained the mom's boyfriend, an illegal immigrant from Mexico. But he's being held by ICE, not local police, so he apparently didn't do it and is just being deported.

No, the 9 year old is the MOM'S SIBLING. Her parent's daughter.

I think the girl is 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there hasn’t been as much media coverage for this considering the circumstances. She was lured into a van and taken from a playground. This should be all over the news

She’s Hispanic. It would be in the news if it were a blond little white girl.

I'm Hispanic.

Help if you can, or just STFU.

Your stupid and racist commentary doesn't help Dulce or anyone else.