Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Oh, get over yourself. How dare you tell someone else what they need to be "mindful" of. Who died and put you in charge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Oh, get over yourself. How dare you tell someone else what they need to be "mindful" of. Who died and put you in charge?

George Mason died, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Oh, get over yourself. How dare you tell someone else what they need to be "mindful" of. Who died and put you in charge?

George Mason died, duh.

Yes. But he left someone smarter than this pp in charge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. It's history.

Do you also not tour houses like Mount Vernon?

Mount Vernon is a museum. And they talk a lot about slavery there. Similarly, former concentration camps are now essentially museums.

Not all museums are appropriate for weddings.

You can lease Mt. Vernon for large parties. I've been to several corporate parties there.

[Anonymous]

Couples say they are getting married at "X plantation" all the time on Say Yes! to the Dress, Four Weddings, etc. Would I do it? Probably not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Oh, get over yourself. How dare you tell someone else what they need to be "mindful" of. Who died and put you in charge?

I dare because I don't mind telling the truth, and to be honest telling somebody they need to be mindful of something is pretty tame. They should be able to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

DP. I think you are a loon. Your solution is for everyone other than Native Americans to up and leave? It may be just but it isn't feasible in the least. OP is asking about a specific plantation for a wedding and how that combination can dredge up overt and deeply uncomfortable whitewashing of the history of that specific place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

You are pretty disconnected from reality. Issues of decolonization and repatriation have been happening in politics and academia for many years now. Almost every talk I attend includes acknowledgement of Indigenous lands and calls for decolonization. Educate yourself on what people are actually doing about Native rights about before you start sound off like a triggered Fox News personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Oh, get over yourself. How dare you tell someone else what they need to be "mindful" of. Who died and put you in charge?

I dare because I don't mind telling the truth, and to be honest telling somebody they need to be mindful of something is pretty tame. They should be able to handle it.

+1

I'm always trying to be more mindful of other perspectives. It's a constant process and a positive one
--person who was left in charge after George Mason died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

You are pretty disconnected from reality. Issues of decolonization and repatriation have been happening in politics and academia for many years now. Almost every talk I attend includes acknowledgement of Indigenous lands and calls for decolonization. Educate yourself on what people are actually doing about Native rights about before you start sound off like a triggered Fox News personality.

DP. Acknowledgement of Indigenous lands and calls for decolonization? Really?

I've seen some of that but didn't realize it was mainstream. Serious talk of decolonization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

DP. I think you are a loon. Your solution is for everyone other than Native Americans to up and leave? It may be just but it isn't feasible in the least. OP is asking about a specific plantation for a wedding and how that combination can dredge up overt and deeply uncomfortable whitewashing of the history of that specific place.

No, I think the solution is don’t judge me because I sin differently than you. There’s lot of bad stuff in all of our histories all over the world & some of us think that rationalizing some parts of it away (differentating the stuff you do) but not other parts (the stuff other people do, but that you don’t do) is kind of hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

First, don't tell me how I live my life. Of course I don't see American Indians as lesser, and I stand up for them a hell of a lot more than I see many do (people who wear Washington football team gear, I'm looking at you).

Second, I didn't choose to be born in this country. I did choose where to hold my wedding, though, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be on a plantation.

So again, just to be clear, you’re totally cool with living your life on stolen land. You libs are absolutely hysterical the way you talk out of both sides of your mouth. The horrors perpetrated on the Native Americans aren’t the trendy issue du jour for lib America so apparently it just doesn’t matter. “But look at me! I heart the blacks! Equality for everyone!” You have zero credibility. #whatindians #hypocrite

DP. I think you are a loon. Your solution is for everyone other than Native Americans to up and leave? It may be just but it isn't feasible in the least. OP is asking about a specific plantation for a wedding and how that combination can dredge up overt and deeply uncomfortable whitewashing of the history of that specific place.

No, I think the solution is don’t judge me because I sin differently than you. There’s lot of bad stuff in all of our histories all over the world & some of us think that rationalizing some parts of it away (differentating the stuff you do) but not other parts (the stuff other people do, but that you don’t do) is kind of hypocritical.

PP you quoted (and thanks other PPs, for calling out this absurdity): like I said, you literally have no idea how I live my life, other than I've posted here that I don't think it's a great idea for WHITE people to hold their WEDDINGS on PLANTATIONS.

Yes, I'm shouting. Because you truly have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

This > https://apracticalwedding.com/plantation-wedding-offensive/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you call it a plantation wedding that is gross. But in the south this is just like...usually an attractive large house in a natural area that makes a good place for a lot of outdoor ceremonies. I feel like if you stay away from going too 'old south' in the theme and don't call it a plantation then I wouldn't really care.

I agree that, in one sense, a plantation is just a big old house on a piece of land. And if that's all it is, then it's not a huge deal. But I think you have to stay away from going "Old South" entirely. No antebellum nostalgia in the decor or dresses or anything. Playacting at being slaveowners is gross. Having a totally normal wedding at an old house with a big back lawn, and not celebrating its past as a site of slavery, is not the same thing. If the plantation itself really plays up the Gone With the Wind nonsense, though, that would rule it out as a venue for me.