Tell me about your absolute lowest point in life
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Anonymous
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The stories of people surviving have certainly made this news slightly less scary. I appreciate it. I’m just scared out of my mind at the moment. Once an ulcer or something to that effect had been ruled out, I thought maybe I had diverticulitis or something like that. A tumor was the furthest thing from my mind.
Do not let problems go, folks. I had to have my gall bladder removed 2 years ago after ignoring what I now know were attacks for years. Now this. If a problem is persistent, it could be serious. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. |
Anonymous
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When my 21st birthday was spent with me hiding in the bathroom from my (ex) husband who was trying to break down the door to beat me (while I wasn’t wearing my glasses or contacts and was practically blind). We lived in a rat and cockroach infested apartment and I was beaten regularly until I left him and moved back home.
Fast forward to now where I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, two beautiful children, and an amazing life. Living well is the best revenge <3 |
Anonymous
PP here - honestly, the docs have to become more aggressive about ordering colonoscopies, too. We have to raise awareness and change the guidelines, which will prompt the insurance companies to start covering them on a wider basis. Chances are, your docs should have scoped you earlier. It is just not on the radar much. Young adult colorectal cancer happens. It is no longer rare. Much depends on staging, but in general, colorectal cancer often has a favorable prognosis. |
Anonymous
| To be fair, they ordered one months ago. But I have close to no leave time at work and was putting it off. However, they found the tumor with a CT scan, and wish they had done THAT one sooner. |
Anonymous
Thank you so much! My family has always been pretty useless anyway. The worst was shame and having to hide it. If you have seen “Pursuing happyness”, it shows it very well. How he is an intern at a finance firm by day and an exhausted single dad by night, trying to give his son a semblance of normalcy in life. How he screams at the child “Shut up!!” because he is so desperate. I cried so much when I watched it. I was lucky not to have to go to a shelter though. I am still traumatized. I am still thinking if I need to let the world know what I went through, or should try to get past it. |
Anonymous
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I feel that I am at my lowest point and have been for a few years. I have a chronic health condition that correlates with higher rates of cancer. Every few months I have a biopsy to make sure it has not turned to cancer. Waiting causes a lot of anxiety. I also have been trying to start a family for years and have gone through 4 miscarriages and am unable to carry to term.
On the positive side, I have a supportive husband, great job, nice house. But as is sometimes said on DCUM, what is presented on the outside does not always match the inside. My coworkers make light and well-meaning comments to congratulate me on my promotions; or about how nice it must be for me to stay thin so easily. All I want to is to be healthy and have a family. |
Anonymous
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Lots:
Vicious verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from parents. Sexual abuse and harassment as a kid, teen, and young woman. Sexual and physical abuse by boyfriends as a young woman. Developing a coke addiction as a young woman. Working in abusive environments as a young woman. Being so broke I had less than ten dollars to my name (many times). Learning about my husband’s cheating. Leaving my cheating, abusive husband with no money, no job, and a kid. Luckily my life is rich and beautiful now. I did an enormous amount of healing my spiritual and mental wounds, was intentionally single, explored my relationship with substance use and abuse, and completely turned my life around. I am now married to a kind, patient, respectful (and totally fun and sexy) man. I have an advanced degree and a challenging career that gives me purpose. Plenty of money, friends, great experiences, and growth. Kids who are thriving. My darkest days are behind me. |
Anonymous
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Apologies in advance for the length.... I'm sharing my experience, which feels to me SO 'mild' by comparison to the strength and courage shared here, so that others who may be feeling 'guilty because my story isn't anywhere near as hard as others have shared' will remember that ANY pain can take you to your knees and that we don't measure suffering by its causes but rather by what steps we can take to survive it.
Last year within the course of four months: *DH's alcoholism ratcheted up to a point where he endangered DC physically and emotionally. Verbal abuse and gaslighting, never previously a part of our marriage or his addiction, made the ugliest kind of debut and I began making plans to separate, given multiple interventions and his multiple failed attempts to achieve sobriety. *DC was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and severe anxiety disorder and was cutting and grappling with suicidal ideation; ultimately, I knew and doctors mandated not to leave her alone under any circumstances with the exception of when she was at school, yet was counseled against hospitalization. *My mother (who is very mentally ill and emotionally and verbally abusive to me, my father, DH, and DC and has been for years) was diagnosed with heart failure and COPD. I had to become her primary caregiver for a brief period of time, including essentially moving into the hospital with her (this was pre DC's diagnoses). *I was diagnosed with a non-life-threatening but debilitating and degenerative neurological condition; underwent a failed procedure designed to alleviate some of the condition's pain and to delay some of the deterioration; was sent for multiple tests as well as the ER for cardiac issues; had hypertension that medications couldn't control; and was clearly on the road to termination at my workplace (while being told 'you'll be fine, just do your best, we have your back' as I simultaneously was given more and more tasks that were both improbable for a 'functional' employee and impossible for me at the time, although I continued to do my best -- in hindsight, of course, that 'best' was nowhere near what the organization or I needed and did more harm than good, at least to me). And yet, a year later: *DH has achieved sobriety which he has maintained for over a year. *DC is doing reasonably well with medication management and therapy and has enrolled in a new school at which she is thriving, after being counseled out of her previous school in the midst of some of the 'annus horribilus' *My mother (while still very ill and very abusive) is better and her conditions are managed effectively for now. *While I was essentially terminated from my job, I came to see it as a gift of sorts, since my medical condition has continued to spiral and I would only have done serious damage to myself (and frankly my family, and undoubtedly the organization, albeit unwittingly) if I'd continued. What helped me get through the bleakness? *Being able to read, including non-fiction, which has always helped me with perspective and which helps me get 'away' from myself at points *Having access to excellent medical care, including psychiatric and therapeutic care for DC, DH, and myself, including great health insurance and solid financial resources, even without my job *Remembering the 'parable' "Footsteps" (which is not for everyone, and is an entirely individual perspective - I share because in my case it helped) *Having my own history of mental illness (eating disorders and concomitant depression including 4 psychiatric hospitalizations before age 20) and having survived that very tough time -- reminding me I would find the strength to survive *Having experience with close friends' and my mother's alcoholism and recovery, hence knowing the gift of sobriety and the hope it could hold for DH, a double-edged sword, of course, because I also could be an 'expert' in enabling/codependence -- not healthy *And finally, having DCUM. Sure, I get that 'it's a forum of strangers and more than a few trolls and nothing takes the place of friends and family and support groups and, and, and'. But for me, and I mean this with all my heart, DCUM helped me keep some perspective in ways that really let me tie a knot and hang on. My own physical condition plus DC's needs restrict me from attending local meetings and support groups in person and I'd lost and let go of many friendships through the years. Further, we'd moved away from DC and all family/friends relatively recently, so I felt isolated, especially since DH was a functional alcoholic and I was enabling the facade, including not sharing our situation with anyone in our new state. But throughout everything, I never stopped reading DCUM. At the lowest of times, I posted a couple of threads. The advice, support, encouragement other posters gave me really carried me through what felt like a mini-personal-hell. As an illustration of what DCUM gave me, at one point, I even reached out through Website Feedback because I was feeling so alone and couldn't remember/find my earlier posts and responses, and I knew the care that had been present was a gift that could lift me up. Jeff responded right away; re-reading helped; and so did knowing that there were 'real people' on the other side of the inter-verse and country...sometimes you need the gift of anonymity along with the assurance of humanity. I know that I will face harder times in the years ahead, and I hope that by then I will have found in-person supports and friendships that can help. I also hope, though, that DCUM will always offer some level of hope and help for those who need it, when they need it, without taking the place of crucial services including and especially for those struggling with depression and most emphatically for those considering harming themselves. For those who have been brave enough to share their struggles, their tragedies, their heartbreaks in this thread, thank you for sharing your story and for modeling your courage. And thanks to all, including Jeff and those who've shared compassion and counsel, not only for me but for anyone else who might have found grace among and from the words of strangers. |
Anonymous
| Princeton rejection. Wanted to go there so freaking bad. |
Anonymous
| I was just diagnosed with stage IV cancer. I have three little kids. |
Anonymous
I am so so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you're going through. I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older (36) or if it's the world but it seems like life is chalk full of the worst doom and gloom for so many people I know right now (I'm not spared either, already posted up thread). But I'm so sorry you and your family has to go through this. |
Anonymous
I didn’t get in either. I went to another great school, though, and had a great time. And am so thankful for the friends I made there. You’re lucky if this is the worst thing to ever happen to you. |
Anonymous
OMG. I’m so sorry. Best wishes for you for treatment. Love, previous poster awaiting word on my own condition |
Anonymous
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When my high school daughter was raped by a very popular boy from a very powerful family.
And the following six months when she completely crashed from the trauma. Wanting to support her decision about reporting the incident to the police (she was adamant about not doing so) and not being able to get her therapy or help as anyone she told would be a mandated reporter. She refused to go to school and her classmates then destroyed her on social media with rumors she was pregnant, that she was committed to a psych ward, etc. We finally got a therapist to agree to talk to her without reporting (through the friend of a friend) and she had one visit with her and reported it as soon as she walked out the door . My daughter got so much worse as she lost trust in everyone around her, including us. The cops pressured us to give them info and threatened us with charges if we didn’t. We picked up our family and moved out of state. All of this seems so crazy but this is a very, very powerful family. The next 6 years, while my daughter has battled with PTSD. She went through cycles of not leaving her room with cycles of going out and partying like crazy. She got pregnant. Had an abortion. It has eaten our family alive. Recovery is slow. We try every day to support her in every way we can think of. She started going to a therapist after we moved here. We lied and told that therapist that all of this was reported in the state we left. She is now slowly getting better. She’s in college part time. Good grades. Has a part time job she likes. Has friends. Is happy most of the time. I thought some days the stress of this and the worry about her would quite literally kill me. |
Anonymous
Prayers to you. Makes my troubles look minimal. |