Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?

[Anonymous]

OP, you also need to be very frank with yourself about your ability to support this baby, both emotionally and financially.

[Anonymous]

OP—I haven’t read the responses in this thread. I can only imagine how horrible/confusing they are for you.

I was your daughter. Though I got pregnant by a guy I went to high school with in summer break. Please. No questions about that. Ha! I had gone away to college and he was at community college (oh those abs! He was hot back then I swear). I wasn’t going to abort so I went back to college for first quarter (clue to school) my junior year and spoke to school. They were very helpful!! This was before online schooling so I was able to make it though second quarter before giving birth. I took off spring quarter and summer. When I returned in the fall they put me and my daughter in grad student housing. I was able to get a ton of help. There are other mothers who were grad students (top university) and I still had a few of my friends. Between the other mothers and friends I had childcare and it was my jr/de year so I was able to work out a schedule where I only had class 3 days a week. It was tough, I won’t lie but have to admit
looking back pretty seamless. I did live with my parents after giving birth for about 4 months but have been on my own since then. We are close but I have always been independent. I moved to DC right after graduation and have lived here since. I am married now with 4 more kids. I have always worked and am the breadwinner in our family. Honestly? We have a great life. I couldn’t have done it with out the guidance office at my college. They were amazing and such a resource. Reach out to them. My daughter graduated from college last spring. It may all seem scary and confusing right now but a path will emerge! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP—I haven’t read the responses in this thread. I can only imagine how horrible/confusing they are for you.

I was your daughter. Though I got pregnant by a guy I went to high school with in summer break. Please. No questions about that. Ha! I had gone away to college and he was at community college (oh those abs! He was hot back then I swear). I wasn’t going to abort so I went back to college for first quarter (clue to school) my junior year and spoke to school. They were very helpful!! This was before online schooling so I was able to make it though second quarter before giving birth. I took off spring quarter and summer. When I returned in the fall they put me and my daughter in grad student housing. I was able to get a ton of help. There are other mothers who were grad students (top university) and I still had a few of my friends. Between the other mothers and friends I had childcare and it was my jr/de year so I was able to work out a schedule where I only had class 3 days a week. It was tough, I won’t lie but have to admit
looking back pretty seamless. I did live with my parents after giving birth for about 4 months but have been on my own since then. We are close but I have always been independent. I moved to DC right after graduation and have lived here since. I am married now with 4 more kids. I have always worked and am the breadwinner in our family. Honestly? We have a great life. I couldn’t have done it with out the guidance office at my college. They were amazing and such a resource. Reach out to them. My daughter graduated from college last spring. It may all seem scary and confusing right now but a path will emerge! Good luck.

Did your parents financially support your daughter and you (both at home and at school)?

[Anonymous]

This happened to my freshman roommate at our small evangelical Christian college. She had the baby, married the guy, they both finished college and graduate school and the baby is now a junior at Harvard.
Now that I'm a parent (20 years later) I'm floored at how well they raised this kid they had when they were 18!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would encourage your daughter to meet with a counselor to explore adoption or parenting. Her college may have resources to help her. Belmont Abbey College has a special dormitory for parenting students and accepts students from other colleges.
http://belmontabbeycollege.edu/about/miravia/

It's 2018, haven't we moved past the notion that pregnant girls must be sent away somewhere to have their babies?

I didn't post this to attempt to send anyone away. I really hope that the poster's daughter's college provides a supportive environment. I'm really proud that Belmont Abbey is providing a supportive dorm for student mothers. Free room and board are provided, as well as some childcare. People complain sometimes that pro-life people are not doing enough for children once they are born, and I see this place as an example of a place that is doing something positive for both mothers and children.

[Anonymous]

My mother with me! She dropped out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title IX protects her housing through her pregnancy.

The Housing office can help with housing after that.

She will qualify for WIC and SNAP.

I assume you were planning on paying room and board while she is in college. Off campus housing could be cheaper and she can apply for WIC/SNAP, all of that money can go towards her child's food and diapers.

As a single mother she can supplement WIC/SNAP with local food banks. (https://www.foodpantries.org/)

The school can help her find cheap/subsidized daycare or she can check this website for subsidized daycare (https://www.acf.hhs.gov/occ/resource/ccdf-grantee-state-and-territory-contacts#M)

Yes, although I was on SNAP when my son was very young, and we were in a liberal state with VERY generous benefits. We had plenty to eat just using SNAP, no WIC. As a mom with a child she will qualify for SNAP for a family of 2, even when baby doesn't eat much. My state at the time was VERY generous and we ate very well (I mean, no lobster and I had to budget, but we had enough and could buy fresh fruits - although not organic - and veggies).

Great. So we’re subsidizing irresponsibility.

yes and we subsidize your house when you write the interest off on your taxes, that is how our society works. i would be more than happy if you would stop writing your interest off on your taxes if you don't like they system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title IX protects her housing through her pregnancy.

The Housing office can help with housing after that.

She will qualify for WIC and SNAP.

I assume you were planning on paying room and board while she is in college. Off campus housing could be cheaper and she can apply for WIC/SNAP, all of that money can go towards her child's food and diapers.

As a single mother she can supplement WIC/SNAP with local food banks. (https://www.foodpantries.org/)

The school can help her find cheap/subsidized daycare or she can check this website for subsidized daycare (https://www.acf.hhs.gov/occ/resource/ccdf-grantee-state-and-territory-contacts#M)

Yes, although I was on SNAP when my son was very young, and we were in a liberal state with VERY generous benefits. We had plenty to eat just using SNAP, no WIC. As a mom with a child she will qualify for SNAP for a family of 2, even when baby doesn't eat much. My state at the time was VERY generous and we ate very well (I mean, no lobster and I had to budget, but we had enough and could buy fresh fruits - although not organic - and veggies).

Yes— once upon a time, you could survive on SNAP. But, in case you missed it, there have been a lot of cuts to SNAP under the R controlled Congress. In 2018, the average family of 2 gets $252 in SNAP benefits, with even more cuts in the pipeline. Could you feed yourself and a child healthy food on less than $50/week?

She won't need to because they parents of the pregnant girl already pays for the girl to eat so all $50 will be for the baby.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who did her junior year. Her parents were very religious and she did not feel she could end the pregnancy nor tell her parents. She made decision early on to give the baby up for adoption. The adoptive parents were supportive of her while she was in school; helped to pay for her living arrangements and medical care. She took summer school classes while very pregnant and a reduced course load the third trimester before birth. Did an additional summer school to graduate on time. Now she is a successful lawyer with a great life and family.

I know it was hard for her. She was ostracized by a lot of people and known as “that pregnant girl.” But to look back, she showed remarkable wisdom and strength - more than any 19 year old I’ve ever met to this day.

[Anonymous]

My college had many pregnant undergrad women. I was not the only one in my dorm! Grateful I didn’t pick a small school with people who thought I was a sinner for having sex or stupid for not aborting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would encourage your daughter to meet with a counselor to explore adoption or parenting. Her college may have resources to help her. Belmont Abbey College has a special dormitory for parenting students and accepts students from other colleges.
http://belmontabbeycollege.edu/about/miravia/

First, OP should ask her daughter whether daughter would like to continue the pregnancy. And support whatever decision is made.

I would assume the daughter intends on having her child or else the OP would have no reason for posting here. It sounds as if you would like the mother to encourage her daughter to abort her baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She will not abort. Right now she wants to do the fall semester and then reevaluate...I do worry about the idea she’ll take time off and then never go back...adoption is still on the table too though.

The father goes to a different school 1200 miles away (they met at an internship) and they were never together.

I got pregnant at 20. I love my 11 year old but there’s times where I wish I had aborted and settled years later. Your daughter doesn’t want to do this now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Why is adoption not being considered as an option? [/b]If she is unwilling to have an abortion (which I totally understand), she still does not have to keep the baby. She will be condemning the both of them into lower socioeconomic conditions that it will be very hard for either the daughter or he baby to escape, unless the grandparents have a lot of money to pay for all the things the mother can’t.

I was wondering this myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother got his girlfriend pregnant between junior and senior year. They lived in an apartment and finished out their college together.

They eventually married and my niece is the best person on the face of the earth... speaks 4 languages, is unbelievable and I love her with all my heart.

This happened to a friend of ours in college. I think they had not been dating long.

They did the same thing. Had an amazing little girl. Last I heard they are still happily married, some 25 years and a couple of kids later.

+1

A couple on my junior year abroad program became parents the following year. They are still together 32 years later, and have four grown kids.

32 years ago, women were still asked if they were going to college to find a husband, and 25 was old to be a first-time mom. This girl is going to be an outlier in so many ways.

Not to mention there's no boyfriend to marry ...

I graduated high school 30 years ago, and no one ever asked if I was going to college to find a husband. And 25 was considered to be on the young side for getting married much less having a baby at least among the college educated crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the product of two teenage college students. I was given up for adoption and had a very good life.

Many posters heer think your mother should have snuffed you out.