Parents who don’t care about their child’s appearance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and my reply got jumbled.

They are very anti consumerism, but also shop on amazon for everything sooo *shrug*. They are ridiculously frugal.

But what is more “frugal”: buying well made clothes that last longer and look nice but are a little more expensive?

Or buying extremely cheap clothes off Amazon or HM that fade and fall apart and are covered in pills?

How long does your kid's size 6 long sleeved sweater need to last?

[Anonymous]

DCUM is so ridiculous. Not everyone has the same amount of money or the same priorities as you, OP. And people don't necessarily have the type of money that you *think* they have.

In addition, I would rather spend $20 on 2 new outfits than $20 on ONE secondhand Hanna Anderson dress with its super ugly patterns and ill fitting cuts. And OP -- we KNOW that your HA/Mini-boden/Tea Collection clothes are second hand. You are NOT fooling anybody, lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I care about how my daughter looks. But I care less about how she “looks” than I care about her having a fun and enriching childhood, filled with exploration of different foods, mud, water, and fresh cut grass.

I also care less about her “looks” than I do about my own tine. I have no desire t spend hours coming through listservs, contacting people, and driving all over to buy single items just because they might looks nicer, when I can buy a whole wardrobe in a few places. I have no drive or desire to the resell these same items and deal with 86 emails with people negotiang me down $2,waiting for no-shows, all for a sweater or dress. I have no desire to spend hours stain treating items so they keep their value (don’t get me wrong, I do stain treat, but I’m less worried about a TShirt I spent a few dollars on if I don’t get a stain out). I have no desire to fuss over clothing that it seems will fit my child for barely a hot minute before they’re too small.

I guess everyone has priorities. Mine is to actually enjoy my child and our life, not to worry about people like you.

THIS. This poster has it right.

I have no desire to put this much effort into "keeping up with the Jones" - I would prefer to spend my time and money more wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about money.

Try keeping a 2.5 year old in perfect expensive clothing when they are on the playground, in dirt, mud, painting, getting sweaty, eating. I’d rather them just be a kid and play them worry about keeping a shirt starched. And hair...everyday is a battle to brush or get it nice.

I buy target play clothes because it’s cheap, convenient, looks ok, and if it gets destroyed, grown out of, lost in a bottomless cubby it doesn’t matter.

Just let the kids play. When they are older want want to wear nicer stuff, we will get nicer stuff and they will need to be more careful.

Yeah, I don’t buy it. I have two very active kids who start out the day being clean, brushed and put together and encourage them to get as dirty and sweaty as they want. But they start the morning looking like someone loves them.

BTW, more expensive clothing like Hanna Andersen lasts longer and releases stains better than cheap clothes which saves money in the long run. And even filthy, they look better.

I am really starting to dislike these HA, Boden and Tea Collection posters. Trust me, I've waited for sales and coupons and what not, its a lot of energy to spend on freaking *kids clothes* and they are expensive as hell if you buy them randomly. And I have 2 girls, and they do look worn out after so many washes. Only a few of them can be really handed down.

you probably don't have enough clothing. my girls and i love clothing and we have a bunch brand name stuff (HA being among the cheapest we buy). i have three girls and most of it looks new. but we have a huge rotation so no dress/shirt etc gets worn day after day after day...

LOL! This thread is making me laugh so hard. I'd rather make my kids a healthy lunch than buy them expensive clothing. Do you understand what I'm getting at here? Most of us don't have the disposable income that you do.

[Anonymous]

This argument reminds me of the “pardon my mess, we’re making memories” philosophy, which is utter bullshit.

I think you can be clean and healthy *and also* splash in puddles and get paint everywhere.

I start DS’s day with clean and combed hair, washed face, and clean clothes.

OF COURSE he comes home from school dirty and tangled. But I don’t throw my hands up and say “what’s the point!”

OF COURSE he whines and complains when I comb his hair in the morning or before bed, but I tell him it’s my job to keep him clean and healthy and keep on combing.

I don’t make him feel less than for being dirty, but we do change into clean clothes after something messy, like spaghetti.

Getting dirty is not a big deal, and is often part of having fun. But we still take the time to clean up afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Wow, who knew children's clothing could generate so much debate?

My first DC lived almost entirely in hand-me-downs, as we had little disposable income; we were aggressively paying down student loans and saving for a house. Plus, she grew so quickly that it seemed like a waste to splurge on the expensive brands. I made sure she had at least one nice outfit per season, so she could look decent for special events.

By the time my second came along, we started paying for nicer clothes. DC #2 also lives in hand-me-downs, but they are from her sister and are now the nicer brands. We figured we have more money now and they are getting at least twice the use. Plus, vanity. We like looking back at pictures and seeing the kids in some cute outfits. They still pick stained/ugly/poor-quality clothes as their favorites sometimes, but by stocking nicer clothes, there's a better ratio.

As long as kids seem happy and well-cared for, I don't think clothes matter either way, at least in the early years. They may start to matter more at the later ages, but we're not there yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about money.

Try keeping a 2.5 year old in perfect expensive clothing when they are on the playground, in dirt, mud, painting, getting sweaty, eating. I’d rather them just be a kid and play them worry about keeping a shirt starched. And hair...everyday is a battle to brush or get it nice.

I buy target play clothes because it’s cheap, convenient, looks ok, and if it gets destroyed, grown out of, lost in a bottomless cubby it doesn’t matter.

Just let the kids play. When they are older want want to wear nicer stuff, we will get nicer stuff and they will need to be more careful.

Yeah, I don’t buy it. I have two very active kids who start out the day being clean, brushed and put together and encourage them to get as dirty and sweaty as they want. But they start the morning looking like someone loves them.

BTW, more expensive clothing like Hanna Andersen lasts longer and releases stains better than cheap clothes which saves money in the long run. And even filthy, they look better.

I am really starting to dislike these HA, Boden and Tea Collection posters. Trust me, I've waited for sales and coupons and what not, its a lot of energy to spend on freaking *kids clothes* and they are expensive as hell if you buy them randomly. And I have 2 girls, and they do look worn out after so many washes. Only a few of them can be really handed down.

you probably don't have enough clothing. my girls and i love clothing and we have a bunch brand name stuff (HA being among the cheapest we buy). i have three girls and most of it looks new. but we have a huge rotation so no dress/shirt etc gets worn day after day after day...

LOL! This thread is making me laugh so hard. I'd rather make my kids a healthy lunch than buy them expensive clothing. Do you understand what I'm getting at here? Most of us don't have the disposable income that you do.

Its not just HA. You can dress your kids nicely in Target, Walmart, discount stores and they look clean and nice. I don't spend a lot and my kid usually looks decent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This argument reminds me of the “pardon my mess, we’re making memories” philosophy, which is utter bullshit.

I think you can be clean and healthy *and also* splash in puddles and get paint everywhere.

I start DS’s day with clean and combed hair, washed face, and clean clothes.

OF COURSE he comes home from school dirty and tangled. But I don’t throw my hands up and say “what’s the point!”

OF COURSE he whines and complains when I comb his hair in the morning or before bed, but I tell him it’s my job to keep him clean and healthy and keep on combing.

I don’t make him feel less than for being dirty, but we do change into clean clothes after something messy, like spaghetti.

Getting dirty is not a big deal, and is often part of having fun. But we still take the time to clean up afterwards.

Or, you give them a bath or shower every day and clean them up after school if you are going out again.

[Anonymous]

Guys - Here is a PSA: use a front-loading washing machine. I have passed down clothes from my daughter through at least one, two or three nieces and they still look new. I have literally never had pilling or fading on anyone’s clothes (yes to holes, rips but from playing not from the machine itself). I don’t know if this is a factor too but we use fragrance-free detergent. Investing in a better washing machine will save you so much money on clothes!

[Anonymous]

I am particularly annoyed by the stringy unkempt hair that's common with little girls these days. It is so unattractive and often gets in their way. Either cut it or put in braids.

[Anonymous]

Who cares about HA or Mini Boden? The real fashion moms buy Bobo Choses and The Animals Observatory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I care about how my daughter looks. But I care less about how she “looks” than I care about her having a fun and enriching childhood, filled with exploration of different foods, mud, water, and fresh cut grass.

I also care less about her “looks” than I do about my own tine. I have no desire t spend hours coming through listservs, contacting people, and driving all over to buy single items just because they might looks nicer, when I can buy a whole wardrobe in a few places. I have no drive or desire to the resell these same items and deal with 86 emails with people negotiang me down $2,waiting for no-shows, all for a sweater or dress. I have no desire to spend hours stain treating items so they keep their value (don’t get me wrong, I do stain treat, but I’m less worried about a TShirt I spent a few dollars on if I don’t get a stain out). I have no desire to fuss over clothing that it seems will fit my child for barely a hot minute before they’re too small.

I guess everyone has priorities. Mine is to actually enjoy my child and our life, not to worry about people like you.

please stop implying that if a child is dressed nicely they are not allowed to play and that the parent must have had spent days shopping through facebook groups (what?). if you have the money and are willing to spend it you can easily dress your child to look nice while wearing comfortable high quality clothes. my oldest DD wore gucci sneakers to playground that looked phenomenal, got a lot of compliments and she never faced no restrictions whatsoever regarding dirtiness of her play. i would much rather spend on everyday clothing that on "special occasion" crap that gets worn once a year and doesn't even look good in most cases.

And stop implying that people who don’t care about spending loads on clothes that are just going to get stained and outgrowing in 30seconds “don’t care”. We have some high quality items, and some items from Old Navy. DD is usually coordinated. She has my hair, so she’s pretty much cursed in that regard.

There are some areas, that to some families, “high quality”doesn’t matter. Clothes seem to be one of them, if you look around. We don’t even spend a fortune on “special occasion crap”.

FWIW, I also find it hilarious that you had to name brand drop. My child has gotten plenty of compliments on cheap items we’ve gotten in Europe, or heck, Canada (Joe Fresh). Kids in general are cute no matter what you put them in. Some of the widest compliments I’ve gotten were on a Fisher Price matching set that DD got as a gift. I know it was from Costco and probably cost under $15.

outgrowing in 30 seconds is the biggest bullshit excuse of all. i guess this is the reason why 50% of kids on shoes at least a size larger. i have 3 kids and even newborn clothes were worn for more than a month by each.

i know that american parents don't want to spend on clothing (this is why beauty and fashion forum is full of middle-aged women desperate for advice on "how look put together" and "why do french women look good") i and couldn't care less why most kids are so poorly dressed... i merely resent the implication that well dressed kids are not allowed to play or that they look like "princesses". well dressed women don't look like princesses and neither do well dressed children. my kids were among the first to swim, ride bikes and do money bars.. and do it while looking nice.

You buy shoes a bit larger as kids can grow quickly and out people don't want to replace shoes every month. My kid likes them roomier. He has tiny feet so I'm waiting for that growth spurt.

Clothing can be expensive if you don't buy it on clearance. Not everyone can afford expensive clothing. You clearly can but some us would rather do things like pay for college and activities.

sure! I don't care how anyone dresses but please don't try to make a virtue out of looking like a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys - Here is a PSA: use a front-loading washing machine. I have passed down clothes from my daughter through at least one, two or three nieces and they still look new. I have literally never had pilling or fading on anyone’s clothes (yes to holes, rips but from playing not from the machine itself). I don’t know if this is a factor too but we use fragrance-free detergent. Investing in a better washing machine will save you so much money on clothes!

PSA - a cheap top loader on gentle is fine. We have no issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and my nieces don’t really look unkept. I only noticed after caring for them for a week that their clothes are terrible. Polyester, pills, rips, etc. Why do people such cheap, itchy, poor quality clothing?!

Please tell me they dont wear ripped clothes. Trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and my nieces don’t really look unkept. I only noticed after caring for them for a week that their clothes are terrible. Polyester, pills, rips, etc. Why do people such cheap, itchy, poor quality clothing?!

Please tell me they dont wear ripped clothes. Trashy.

What’s wrong with ripped clothes. So long as they are hygienic, myob.