Parents who don’t care about their child’s appearance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids often look disheveled, and it's no big deal to me. Their clothes are mostly clean, they practice decent hygiene, and they at least run a brush through their hair each morning. Beyond that, they're old enough at 9 and 11 to choose their own clothing and stylings. If the kids decide to wear pants with rips, clothing that doesn't match, socks that don't match, or have shaggy hair, I'm not going to fight them on it.

9 and 11!?! hahhaha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This applies to people are wealthy/UMC, and who wanted children.

I don’t understand people who don’t care about their child’s appearance. Long, tangled hair, worn out and old clothing, etc.

I cared for my two nieces this week. My sister and her husband have plenty of money, yet all of the girls clothes were second hand, polyester, thread bare, faded. I’m fine with buying second hand (reuse reduce!) and not spending your money on a child’s wardrobe, but Target clothes aren’t expensive...?

I feel bad for the girls. What will they wear to school?

Their parents clothes are always tattered and poor quality, so clothing is definitely not something they care about.

I have two boys who rarely look put together, but their clothes are decent quality. Not, ripping at the seams.

Eh. My kids dress pretty well (mainly bc of hand me downs and second hand consignment stuff in the long-lasting brands PPs mentioned) but I sort of feel the opposite, as in sorry for kids whose parents obviously put a lot of thought and energy into their wardrobes and appearance. It’s so weird to see a six year old or whatever with a full closet of outfits, all bought new for the season. I just feel like they are being treated like dolls who are extensions of their parents’ narcissism — my child is a reflection of ME — and not like little individual people who couldn’t care less at this age what they wear.

If more people on the planet understood that children could be dressed in second hand clothes we would not be throwing millions of tons of hardly used clothing in third world countries. Oh but who cares that our planet is being destroyed, so long as our kids look cute?

I also feel you must have some rivalry going on to be so hung up on this. Are her kids smarter and nicer? Are you jealous of their family?

[Anonymous]

It’s not about money.

Try keeping a 2.5 year old in perfect expensive clothing when they are on the playground, in dirt, mud, painting, getting sweaty, eating. I’d rather them just be a kid and play them worry about keeping a shirt starched. And hair...everyday is a battle to brush or get it nice.

I buy target play clothes because it’s cheap, convenient, looks ok, and if it gets destroyed, grown out of, lost in a bottomless cubby it doesn’t matter.

Just let the kids play. When they are older want want to wear nicer stuff, we will get nicer stuff and they will need to be more careful.

Yeah, I don’t buy it. I have two very active kids who start out the day being clean, brushed and put together and encourage them to get as dirty and sweaty as they want. But they start the morning looking like someone loves them.

BTW, more expensive clothing like Hanna Andersen lasts longer and releases stains better than cheap clothes which saves money in the long run. And even filthy, they look better.

OP here and I completely agree.

But what is more “frugal”: buying well made clothes that last longer and look nice but are a little more expensive?

Or buying extremely cheap clothes off Amazon or HM that fade and fall apart and are covered in pills?

I think many people are also miserly about spending on clothes. Wearing clean, well made and inexpensive clothes is somewhere in between wearing dirty, ill-fitting, unkempt clothes and wearing expensive, brand name clothes.

[Anonymous]

You sound snobby OP. Not everyone is materialistic. As long as they are loving parents please don’t judge their clothing brands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound snobby OP. Not everyone is materialistic. As long as they are loving parents please don’t judge their clothing brands.

I’m not sure snobby is the right word. It sounds like OP is jealous of her sister and bil’s higher income and wants to make herself feel better by saying her kids look better even with her limited means. I’m guessing that makes her feel better about her life choices, or gives her an area where she can outshine her sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound snobby OP. Not everyone is materialistic. As long as they are loving parents please don’t judge their clothing brands.

I’m not sure snobby is the right word. It sounds like OP is jealous of her sister and bil’s higher income and wants to make herself feel better by saying her kids look better even with her limited means. I’m guessing that makes her feel better about her life choices, or gives her an area where she can outshine her sister.

Ehhh not at all. I liked hearing the different opinions on the topic. To me is more about quality over quantity, or spending money on things that won’t last, AND taking pride in your kids. It’s not about competition. My son today wore Stars and Stripes pants, a fire truck shirt, and I forgot to comb his hair. But, his clothes are not ripped and they fit him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take the Spoilt Brat Theory.

The busy parents don't care to parent, teach or discipline their kids so when it's time to eat, dress, turn off the TV the kids gets his or her way, not the parent. over and over.

So if Spoilt Brat Kid instantly throws a fit every morning in order to wear some krappy clothes day after day, Busy Mom and Dad don't teach a lesson about dressing well and grooming. They just say OK. Cutting corners parenting. Path of least effort. Kid is running the show.

This vicious board never disappoints. Wowza!

[Anonymous]

I don’t mind other peoples’ kids looking like crap because it makes mine stand out and look that much cuter in comparison.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated by parents with perfectly coiffed kids. I have twins. Sometimes they look great and sometimes they are a mess. My thing daughters hair is always brushes but doesn't have the tight ponytail going. Do parents yank their kids hair and hold them down to get that look.

Both my husband and I are academics, so we totally fall into the crunch category. We are anti conspicuous consumption and do get as much possible second hand.

I have two year old twins and a newborn and my twins hair is always done and their clothes are clean and cute. I honestly don’t see how this takes more time than what other parents do but maybe I just care more. They get tons of compliments and I love looking back at random pictures and seeing them look so sweet.

I'm a boy mom and my kids' hair looks the same no matter what as long as it's somewhat trimmed so I have a question: what do parents mean by girls having hair that is "done?" Braided? Pigtails? Or just combed and a bob?

I am talking about boys hair being done. You wet it and comb it and put kids hair product in it to keep it from hanging down in their eyes.

I'm guessing this depends on your kids' hair type and the length you keep it.

Yeah my son’s hair has never been in his eyes. We don’t even keep it that short - he’d have to have very long hair for it to be in his eyes at all.

I don’t use any hair products on my boy (he’s 3.5). I think it looks kind of “overdone” when preschool boys come to school with hair gel.

I'm a girl mom and had barely even noticed boy's hair. Until this family sat in front of me at the school bleachers. All 3 sons had the shaggiest hair I've ever seen in my life. It looked like a 10 year old cut their hair with scissors. It wasn't even at all and stuck straight up on all of them. The mom was dressed very smartly. I could not figure out what was wrong with this family to let their son's hair look so bad. I hoped they headed to Great Clips right after. Their clothes were a disaster too, but I know kids don't always wear what matches or what the parent wants.

I don’t know how old the boys were, but some boy moms really, REALLY resist the first haircut. For me, as soon as my DS’s hair started to look a little mullet-like, he got his first haircut. He was around 15 months. Now his hair looks good because after you cut off the baby hair/curls, it grows in with a better texture and not so fine and prone to tangling. But I have friends who have kids about DS’s age, so between 2.5 and 4 or so, and they have never got their son’s hair cut and it honestly looks pretty insane.