Do you judge other women’s engagement rings?

[Anonymous]

I have a platinum quarter carat solitaire from Tiffany. I picked it out myself and wanted small to fit under the nitrile gloves I wear every day in the lab. DH could have afforded more but this is all that I need and we paid off our house instead. It gets the side-eye sometime from our fancy neighbor friends, but whatever. Wear what you like.

[Anonymous]

I specifically did not want an expensive ring. There are so many more important things to spend money on.

I do judge women who "have to have" a certain type of a ring that costs such and such. We have very different priorities.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't judge. I don't even notice them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don't judge. I don't even notice them.

This is me. Once at work we had a meeting with a funder, and afterwards my male coworker was like, "Did you see the size of her rock?" and I had to admit I didn't even register it. I think people get sentimental about their engagements/weddings, which is really nice. So, even if I wouldn't wear the ring myself, why would I GAF about someone else's ring unless I was trying to sh*t on the concept of romantic love itself? Enjoy your ring, have a happy marriage! --signed, someone who doesn't wear a ring & doesn't judge.

[Anonymous]

I wear a family ring that over 4 carats. I know its large and if people judge, thats on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know they are struggling financially and spend big $$ on a ring I judge.

Same, and this is usually a red flag that these people are going to have money problems forever.

Agreed. I know someone who bought a 25k engagement ring, spent 85k on a wedding, and literally has no savings now, and is paying off cc debt. They won't be able to a buy a house for a very very long time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge the traditional diamonds- lots of people have heirloom rings, different styles etc.

I do judge when people over explain their ‘non traditional’rings. We had a friend that bought his dw a cheap looking jade ring despite making really good money at the time and buying expensive gifts for himself constantly. She was into fashion/designer stuff and would wayyy over explain why he thought it was better- she was clearly bummed. Just found out they’re getting divorced 2 years into marriage

[Anonymous]

Long ago before I was married, I judged if the stone was tiny and/or bad quality. Nowadays, I don't care. I notice if they are pretty but I don't judge if they are small or large or anything else because I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do.

Sometimes when I see a woman with a tiny diamond I wonder how cheap her husband must be to not bother to get her something nicer.

The larger the diamond the more I think her husband wanted to impress her/ show his love. Also that he’s rich.

You sound shallow and, frankly, not too bright.

[Anonymous]

Have never thought about it or noticed other people's rings unless it's large enough to stand out (3+ carat stone). And I don't judge either way, nor do I count other people's money. Some of the wealthiest, most pedigreed people I know (the family-stepped-off-the-Mayflower kind) leave their giant heirloom solitaires at home unless it's a special occasion and wear simple wedding bands - the person I have in mind lives in comfortably worn no-name jeans and drives an 11 year old Range Rover. She has a fantastic designer wardrobe and handbag collection, but you would never see it on her in daily life. Only idiots make snap assumptions based on outward appearances.

[Anonymous]

I notice and admire but I don't judge. I have noticed that the prettiest American women never have small rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously?! Why would anyone even think of judging someone's degree of love for their spouse on the basis of an engagement ring?

Because it's human nature?

[Anonymous]

Only if they are large and gaudy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My diamond is flat, and tiny, on a plain gold band.

We were both graduate students. My husband bought what he could afford at the time. We couldn't afford a wedding, so we went to the courthouse.

We've been married for 25 years, and will retire as millionaires.

And I'll still wear my flat, tiny, plain gold band just to earn the disrespect of shallow people like OP who judge people's worth and experience based on a piece of metal.

Ha, yep. Opted out of engagement ring for SO many reasons. And coincidentally, the 4 coolest women I know also don't have a diamond engagement ring. They really are the most amazing, confident, creative, capable women I know. And they all thoughtfully chose not to get an engagement ring.

+1 Wish I could meet all you diamondless ladies. I took a stand years ago and now run in status circles when enormous is the norm. Standing my ground though and sometimes, gasp!, I don't wear as this at all.

A plain gold band is prettier to me than a tiny diamond or a diamond cluster pretending to be bigger. Go big or go home I guess. Tiny diamonds just aren't pretty. I do find gold bands pretty though.

I love tiny diamonds and my engagement ring is a pave band. So much sparkle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice and admire but I don't judge. I have noticed that the prettiest American women never have small rings.

This. I’ve never seen a pretty girl with a small ring.