Am I the only one who doesn't feel bored as a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

I was a sahm for 5 years and now have been back to work
full time for 4. I've enjoyed both but am currently thinking of returning home for a few years. I feel burnt out professionally. My husband works long hours and balancing my job and all the household duties plus 3 kids is exhausting over time. I may take a year off to regroup. We aren't fabulously wealthy but we won't starve without my income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

Most of this is in your head. No reason to be work up by a silly dcum thread.

[Anonymous]

I became a SAHM after working for a number of years too. I also enjoyed both. Different struggles. Different blessings. Never bored in either role as SAHM/W, WAHM/W, or WOHM/W. Graduate degree, toddler, and divorcing. Nothing has damaged my marketability, or opportunity, but I also worked to stay engaged academically (certifications, networking, volunteering, occasional publications) and don't feel that there has been any "lost" time. To each, their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a sahm for 5 years and now have been back to work
full time for 4. I've enjoyed both but am currently thinking of returning home for a few years. I feel burnt out professionally. My husband works long hours and balancing my job and all the household duties plus 3 kids is exhausting over time. I may take a year off to regroup. We aren't fabulously wealthy but we won't starve without my income.

I could have written this post. I am currently in the same exact place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back on topic

I never expected to be a SAHM but then DH got a great offer from his company to transfer to an overseas office. I had just had my first child so it seemed like a good opportunity to take a year or so off before returning to the workforce. Flash forward ten years and one more kid and we're still expats though we've moved countries a few times and I still stay at home. It's not quite what I expected to happen when I was in college or doing my master's or my initial years in the workforce. But do I have regrets? No. Life has been good. Even though we are expats it sounds more exotic than it really is and most of my daily activities are similar to what has already been described on here by other SAHMs. I run the house, prepare the meals, keep everyone's lives in working order, plan the vacations, manage (remotely) our rental property in the US and I am also involved with the family finances. DH makes the money but he's happy to leave the investments to me. In our case, it's also quite helpful having a SAHM to sort out all the little bureaucratic hurdles of being an expat. I also volunteer and I have a good social life with other families and play tennis frequently.

We will return to the US someday and I don't really have plans to return to work, although I also won't rule it out either. I'm actually quite happy being a SAHM and I don't base my self worth on going to an office every day and pushing paper around. I'm very, very happy for those who work and I'm thrilled it's not the 1950s with its conformist expectations for women. But I am also very happy with my life.

OMG, I must be superwoman! I do all the above plus I am also a working mom.
But good for you, PP.

That's so great, PP! If we do everything in common except you go to an office, we'd probably like one another! Congrats on your superpowers. I'm not in the suffering olympics- doing all of that for money that won't impact our lives with a husband who travels all the time? I'll leave that to the superheroes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

This is your insecurity affecting how you read things. The OP said "hey is it weird that I'm NOT bored SAH?" And then you have other SAHMs chiming in to say, nope I'm not bored either.

That's all it is. Not that one lifestyle is preferable for everyone over the other.

[Anonymous]

Not bored at all. I treasure my time with my young children. I take them on all kinds out outings. We participate in lots of play dates and classes.

I plan to return to work at some point, but I feel fortunate to have this wonderful time with them right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

Go ahead. I do think staying home is great. That is why I do it. Why should I pretend that it sucks? If you prefer working, fine by me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

I am not creative, don't love to cook. The only domestic art I enjoy is financial planning. So much of raising kids is repetitive. Good for you that you found your niche! I've been a full time working mom for 18 years and I love what I do as well. Different strokes and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's okay to be bored. Beats the hell out of stressing.

I never had time to be bored. Kids, husband, cooking, cleaning, shopping, running here and there, hobbies, lunches. I never knew true and complete serenity until the kids left home.

When someone asks what I do all day I say whatever I want. I LOVE MY LIFE. MY BORING LIFE.

Ah. I'd much rather have some stress than be bored.

[Anonymous]

There is a very true old saying - Bored people are usually boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never been bored at home. Three kids close together made the early years busy and fun. I had a lot of family and SAHM friends nearby.

As they transitioned into ES I got certified to teach a variety of fitness classes. I play on a team competitively for a sport I enjoy. I see friends a lot, read a lot, and never watch TV.

That's another thing: I have never had local family. That alone would have make SAH difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every once in a while, I read threads like this and I feel like taking my husband up on his offer for me to stay home.

And then I think of all the former stay-at-home moms I know who got divorced, often not due to their own choice, and are now in very tough positions. I also think of those I know who are still married and miserable and trapped. I also know a couple whose husbands lost their jobs and who are now in very bad economic situations. In case it is not obvious, I am from an area with very privileged stay-at-home moms. Seeing what happens to the majority keeps me working.

Same feeling here. Of course people with money don't feel bored. It's like partial retirement after about age 8. You have money to do things you want. The majority of SAHM's who aren't enjoying life are the ones without money.

I am a WOHM with a lot of money. I don't feel bored either, and that's because I don't have to do Costco runs, clean up the yard, straighten up the house, etc. Whether I worked or not, I wouldn't want to do that stuff. I really don't miss not getting to watch TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a TRAP! This thread will be trotted out for the next 5 years every time someone claims that SAH is a sacrifice, the hardest job in the world, and isolating. Shut this thread down.

It is the hardest job, isolating, and almost kills you. Then your kids go to school and you have deserved a much needed break.

Does your husband have to wait until he retires to get his much needed break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bored at all. I was bored at work, not at home.

Me too. And to the PP, I have a masters degree and had a successful career before staying home.

It's a lot more challenging to maintain a career, full time, once you have children.