My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?

This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.

Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.

I'm not going to name the school, sorry.

Not sure it's fair to complain about "young white women" teaching. My daughter is a very young, very white teacher in a DC school. She is a fantastic teacher who worked primarily with at-risk kids before she accepted a job in DC. The kids in her old school were mostly in school as a condition of their release from either juvenile or jail. That's where her heart is. While I'm sure there are benefits to having more diversity among teachers, at the end of the day it's the teaching that matters. My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude from a very well known university. She could be teaching anywhere. She has chosen to work with kids who need the most help.

OP here.

My issue with the vast majority of our teachers being "young white women" is that I think it would be helpful for the students - particularly the boys - to have at least one teacher in their elementary school experience who looks like them - for the same reasons that people complain that DCPS isn't diverse enough (want good representative samples of population, think it's isolating to be the only one, etc.). I wish that we provided better incentives for young men (particularly young men of color) to teach. It's not the fault of the people in the profession that other people don't go into the profession.

What your daughter is doing is great. I hope you tell her how proud you are often.

What difference does it make, we don't demand Asian teachers and are whopping all the other minority's academically.

Maybe it does not make a difference to you, but I think it would make a difference to my DD's friend, who is a 6yo black boy who sees that in his school, the black men are the janitors and not the teachers. I think that if you want to tell your kids that they can be anything they want to be, it's helpful for them to see examples of people who look like them being the things they want to be.

If it's not important to you, that's fine. But don't assume that it's not important to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

Funny. I took her message exactly opposite. I think she came off as humble. Especially in the follow ups.

Minority parents are the most racist

OP here. No, they're not. Next question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't need to ask you anything, because I've lived your child's experience. I was the only white child in my class between 1st and 5th grade. From 1st to 3rd grade, it was no problem at all and I never really thought about it. In 4th and 5th grade, other girls began excluding me because I didn't speak Spanish and didn't have the same cultural heritage as them. Honestly, who knows, maybe kids will always find a reason to pick on each other at that age and it would not have mattered if there were other children of my race at my school - maybe kids just would have picked on me for something else. All that I know is that it wasn't the best of times, and it was good to move to a middle school where there was genuine diversity and all different types of kids.

OP here. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am really sorry that that happened to you. I had a similar experience, but I believe it was related to switching schools in 4th grade rather than any cultural differences. I think that kids will generally find something different to latch onto - in my case it was that I was new. I think that schools these days are better equipped to handle that kind of social issue than they were when I was a kid. Not all schools, obviously, but in general, we pay more attention than we used to to these issues.

The same thing is going to happen to your daughter when you pull the plug in 3rd. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you are exceptional, OP?

If you're asking if I am arrogant, my answer would be no, I don't think I am.

If you're asking if I feel that my decisions are unusual, then honestly, my answer is yes. A lot of my friends have been playing the lottery every year in hopes of trading up. We didn't do that. We had a great year, and after that year, we decided to just stay where we were until/unless something happened to make us question that decision. We are - at this time - fully committed to remaining at our school through grade 5. I think that makes me exceptional because I don't know a lot of people who have other options who have made that decision.

yes, yes, you are great op. we get it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you are exceptional, OP?

If you're asking if I am arrogant, my answer would be no, I don't think I am.

If you're asking if I feel that my decisions are unusual, then honestly, my answer is yes. A lot of my friends have been playing the lottery every year in hopes of trading up. We didn't do that. We had a great year, and after that year, we decided to just stay where we were until/unless something happened to make us question that decision. We are - at this time - fully committed to remaining at our school through grade 5. I think that makes me exceptional because I don't know a lot of people who have other options who have made that decision.

yes, yes, you are great op. we get it...

I was asked a question. I answered the question. The title is "ask me anything." If I didn't answer, I would get crap about avoiding questions. I'm sure you are also exceptional in some way yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't need to ask you anything, because I've lived your child's experience. I was the only white child in my class between 1st and 5th grade. From 1st to 3rd grade, it was no problem at all and I never really thought about it. In 4th and 5th grade, other girls began excluding me because I didn't speak Spanish and didn't have the same cultural heritage as them. Honestly, who knows, maybe kids will always find a reason to pick on each other at that age and it would not have mattered if there were other children of my race at my school - maybe kids just would have picked on me for something else. All that I know is that it wasn't the best of times, and it was good to move to a middle school where there was genuine diversity and all different types of kids.

OP here. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am really sorry that that happened to you. I had a similar experience, but I believe it was related to switching schools in 4th grade rather than any cultural differences. I think that kids will generally find something different to latch onto - in my case it was that I was new. I think that schools these days are better equipped to handle that kind of social issue than they were when I was a kid. Not all schools, obviously, but in general, we pay more attention than we used to to these issues.

The same thing is going to happen to your daughter when you pull the plug in 3rd. Just sayin'.

Maybe so. Doesn't change the fact that I think the decision we made when she was 4 has been a good decision since we made it.

[Anonymous]

You are supposed to what's best for you kid, not what's best for you. Don't say "it's a sacrifice I am willing to make"... It's your DD's future you are playing with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

Funny. I took her message exactly opposite. I think she came off as humble. Especially in the follow ups.

Minority parents are the most racist

OP here. No, they're not. Next question.

From reading this thread obviously they are behind your back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?

This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.

Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.

I'm not going to name the school, sorry.

Not sure it's fair to complain about "young white women" teaching. My daughter is a very young, very white teacher in a DC school. She is a fantastic teacher who worked primarily with at-risk kids before she accepted a job in DC. The kids in her old school were mostly in school as a condition of their release from either juvenile or jail. That's where her heart is. While I'm sure there are benefits to having more diversity among teachers, at the end of the day it's the teaching that matters. My daughter graduated Summa Cum Laude from a very well known university. She could be teaching anywhere. She has chosen to work with kids who need the most help.

OP here.

My issue with the vast majority of our teachers being "young white women" is that I think it would be helpful for the students - particularly the boys - to have at least one teacher in their elementary school experience who looks like them - for the same reasons that people complain that DCPS isn't diverse enough (want good representative samples of population, think it's isolating to be the only one, etc.). I wish that we provided better incentives for young men (particularly young men of color) to teach. It's not the fault of the people in the profession that other people don't go into the profession.

What your daughter is doing is great. I hope you tell her how proud you are often.

What difference does it make, we don't demand Asian teachers and are whopping all the other minority's academically.

Maybe it does not make a difference to you, but I think it would make a difference to my DD's friend, who is a 6yo black boy who sees that in his school, the black men are the janitors and not the teachers. I think that if you want to tell your kids that they can be anything they want to be, it's helpful for them to see examples of people who look like them being the things they want to be.

If it's not important to you, that's fine. But don't assume that it's not important to anyone.

Maybe to blacks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you aware that you have the foundation set for an AMAZING college application essay?

The last couple of weeks watching Donald Trump has alerted me to the fact that my sarcasm meter is broken. Were you joking with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are supposed to what's best for you kid, not what's best for you. Don't say "it's a sacrifice I am willing to make"... It's your DD's future you are playing with.

I don't think that I have ruined her future by sending her to an elementary school that is meeting her needs. I also don't feel that we are sacrificing anything at this time. If the school is not working for her, we will move. Finding a school that works well for her will be the motivator for that move, so it'll be the thing that guides WHERE we move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you aware that you have the foundation set for an AMAZING college application essay?

That actually hadn't occurred to me. I'm sure that DD will have any number of experiences that she can write about in her college application essays, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks she is "holier-than-thou." I think she is just naive or stupid or both.

Funny. I took her message exactly opposite. I think she came off as humble. Especially in the follow ups.

Minority parents are the most racist

OP here. No, they're not. Next question.

From reading this thread obviously they are behind your back

My assumption about this site is that it's actually mostly upper middle class white ladies who cut other people down about where they send their kids to school. I am pretty confident that I'm correct about this, since I doubt that "minority parents" are the ones pulling their kids from school in 3rd grade due to racial bullying.

If people want to say things to my face, I'm fine with that. I'm not interested in backstabbing or gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later. "

+1 million.

Here's the deal. Every one of my friends who was enthused about their diverse school when their kids were in K were reconsidering their decision to stay by third grade, when the lack of academic intensity becomes apparent. And all but one have pulled their kids from their original schools to put them into higher performing schools.

It doesn't sound to me like OP is in a diverse school, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you aware that you have the foundation set for an AMAZING college application essay?

That actually hadn't occurred to me. I'm sure that DD will have any number of experiences that she can write about in her college application essays, though.

If she goes to college.