Why do DCUMs always need to tell you that her child has a high IQ?

[Anonymous]

I say that parents need to help the kids behave well in *every* situation, no matter what the school system can afford to throw at them, because they will be faced with every possible situation in the future. All of us have learned to daydream in boring meetings or conferences, plan what we're doing next, or whatever. It's a necessary skill, and PARTICULARLY necessary if you think everybody around you is an idiot. If you can't manage to show politeness to peers, teachers and bosses, then you will be lost in your career and social relationships.

I would just like to say that I agree with you for the most part and work hard myself to get DC to be less condescending and more respectful.

I would also like to say that if you're a really, really smart guy with an in-demand coding specialty skill (and yes, they ARE all males), you can be any kind of anti-social, smelly, asshole you want and still get hired at Microsoft, as well as a some smaller companies and start-ups in Silicon Valley. ONce there, if you're legit in your nearly one-of-a-kind skills (you know, put up or shut up), you can indeed continue to be an anti-social, graceless asshole who calls other people "idiots" and still keep your job. I'm serious.

I don't know anything about MIT though. I do know a lot of these guys just bypassed MIT altogether, however.

[Anonymous]

The kids I have seen getting the brat pass from their parents are NOT brooding geniuses - just bright kids that have learned how to manipulate their parents by running to them every time the teacher (or anybody else) questions their behavior - whether it is talking out of turn, roaming the class or just being disrespectful. Parents like these conjure up a "me and my brillent, misunderstood kid against the world" attitude, and they bitch to anybody that will listen on the playground - bashing the teacher, the school, whatever. They want all of these special accommodations and exceptions to long-standing rules to avoid confronting unacceptable behavior head on - it's always somebody elses fault. FWIW, I'm laid back in general, and I'll even admit that certain teachers could handl certain kids better. For the most part, however, as an active parent who volunteers in the classroom on a regular basis, I've seen and heard some serious crap from some high-maintenance parents that are really screwing up their kids.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I too have seen the one-two punch of a kid who's learned to manipulate mom and/or dad ("the teacher just doesn't me, the other kids don't try as hard as I do"), and a parent who desperately wants to believe that junior isn't just on the top end of average.

[Anonymous]

Okay, just playing devil's advocate here, but are you sure they're manipulating anyone? That seems like a pretty sophisticated action - I mean how old are the kids we're talking about? I just wonder about the difference between can't behave and won't behave.

[Anonymous]

I see what you're saying. But heck, toddlers know how to manipulate you by fake crying. You know, that not-so-convincing wail, which is completely different from the authentic wail.

And I guess I don't always mean manipulation in the sense of emotionally blackmailing you.

But lots of kids, like my 10-year-old, can come up with endless arguments for what they want, and on the surface these arguments seem completely rational. This includes, in the case of both of my kids, wanting private school. The hard part for a parent is to ask, is my kid really such a bad fit for the current school? If you want desperately to think your kid is exceptional, you will hear "yes" no matter the facts.

So I guess what I'm saying is: I know a parent or two out their who thinks their kid is a genius, and they want to believe it so much that they listen to the kid more than to common sense.

[Anonymous]

How's this for bragging?

I have three children under five and all of them eat their vegetables. Two of them even do so willingly.

[Anonymous]

I am not a fan of the term "gifted!"

[Anonymous]

I agree completely - I think the program is a total joke and completely mismanaged (and the "gifted" classification completely misunderstood by both parents and teachers). By the way - I have two kids that were in the "gifted" program at our public school - I yanked them after the first year and put them in private. Now they are in a class room with 'regular" kids - and who knows who is gifted and who is not. It doesn't matter when the curriculum is rich and engaging and they are not shackled to the stupid tests - yes - even the gifted program is all about SOLS - it stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely - I think the program is a total joke and completely mismanaged (and the "gifted" classification completely misunderstood by both parents and teachers). By the way - I have two kids that were in the "gifted" program at our public school - I yanked them after the first year and put them in private. Now they are in a class room with 'regular" kids - and who knows who is gifted and who is not. It doesn't matter when the curriculum is rich and engaging and they are not shackled to the stupid tests - yes - even the gifted program is all about SOLS - it stinks.

What school?

[Anonymous]

Who knows who's gifted and who's not ...

The students do! Teachers, too. Just because there is no explicit GT program doesn't mean there's no implicit differentiation among students and faculty.

[Anonymous]

Right on PP. Private school teachers can adequately serve TAG students within the "regular" classroom because the curriculum allows for it. I'm not posting here to bash public schools. I would much rather our kids continue in our neighborhood school - but starting in 3rd grade I became very disillusioned between the focus on SOL testing and review and the complete waste of time and resources associated with identifying and excluding kids from the TAG program. I really believe that the test centered curriculum is the problem - and a richer, flexible curriculum would benefit kids on multiple levels. As it stands, everybody is short changed and drop out rates are soaring.

[Anonymous]

I think it may depend on the school in which the G&T program is housed. We also yanked a kid from the G&T program in the local public and put said kid in private. But this was because as a whole the local public was failing the NCLB tests and so was devoting all its resources to the cusp kids to get them to pass the tests. The school had no resources for the G&T program. So it's possible your mileage may vary with a G&T program in a school that doesn't face this sort of challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should highly gifted kids get a pass on sitting still and fidgetting, when average but energetic, or struggling kids, don't?

It's the bright kids WITH adhd and/or other regulatory issues, not just a free pass to all. This is my K son exactly. On meds, getting therapy, social skills group etc. yet he continues to fidget and act out and get in trouble etc. He cannot help himself. His ped confiirmed this for me yesterday. When you look "ok" and should "know better since you are smart" it's an uphill battle on the behavior front. We got yet another note from the teacher just this week. I wish my kid were merely energenic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should highly gifted kids get a pass on sitting still and fidgetting, when average but energetic, or struggling kids, don't?

It's the bright kids WITH adhd and/or other regulatory issues, not just a free pass to all.

It's these 2e kids that truly benefit from a GT center program, as the GT center teachers (in general) have lots of experience with 2e kids. Putting a 2e kid in private school is very risky as their is little to no opportunity for accommodations (504 or IEP).

[Anonymous]

Not to mention the fact that not everyone can afford private school.