Fuming! Need some advice about SIL and how she handled soemthing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

You need to reread what you wrote. You seem overly controlling and obsessed with your kids turning out a certain way. I assume your brother only mentioned the gift being too much after you said some passive aggressive comments. No I do t get a whiff of your sister-in-law's personality. I don't understand what your problem is. You realize this isn't the first time your daughter is going to experience something you don't agree with, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

You need to reread what you wrote. You seem overly controlling and obsessed with your kids turning out a certain way. I assume your brother only mentioned the gift being too much after you said some passive aggressive comments. No I do t get a whiff of your sister-in-law's personality. I don't understand what your problem is. You realize this isn't the first time your daughter is going to experience something you don't agree with, right?

Why is your brother complaining about his wife to you? Poor behavior.

[Anonymous]

I'm calling full BS on you being a yoga instructor. Your remarks about SIL aren't exactly "namaste"-compliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

You need to reread what you wrote. You seem overly controlling and obsessed with your kids turning out a certain way. I assume your brother only mentioned the gift being too much after you said some passive aggressive comments. No I do t get a whiff of your sister-in-law's personality. I don't understand what your problem is. You realize this isn't the first time your daughter is going to experience something you don't agree with, right?

Why is your brother complaining about his wife to you? Poor behavior.

The bold identifies the real problem. SIL outdid op's gift. LV vs Coach and op is unhinged that she was one-uped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

You need to reread what you wrote. You seem overly controlling and obsessed with your kids turning out a certain way. I assume your brother only mentioned the gift being too much after you said some passive aggressive comments. No I do t get a whiff of your sister-in-law's personality. I don't understand what your problem is. You realize this isn't the first time your daughter is going to experience something you don't agree with, right?

Why is your brother complaining about his wife to you? Poor behavior.

The bold identifies the real problem. SIL outdid op's gift. LV vs Coach and op is unhinged that she was one-uped.

+1!!!! This is the whole issue.

OP thought she was about to "drop the mic" with a Coach bag, and then her SIL sent her daughter an LV. Oops!

[Anonymous]

I might compromise by allowing my daughter to keep it, but putting it away until age 18/high school graduation.

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, I'd be annoyed too, OP. But you could turn your SIL's competitive urge to your advantage. Play your cards right and SIL will be picking up the tab for DD's first car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.
it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

A-ha! SIL one upped you and THAT'S what the corncob up your butt is all about. Mystery solved, Scooby Doo

[Anonymous]

That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a purse. I'd never do it. I'd be uncomfortable with my DD having a much more expensive purse than I have but I'd get over myself if she liked it.

It's a special purse for a special occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a purse. I'd never do it. I'd be uncomfortable with my DD having a much more expensive purse than I have but I'd get over myself if she liked it.

It's a special purse for a special occasion.

That's an admirable attitude but it would sting if you had also given her a nice new purse and she chose to wear the uber-expensive one as her main purse and rarely take out the one you gave her, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a purse. I'd never do it. I'd be uncomfortable with my DD having a much more expensive purse than I have but I'd get over myself if she liked it.

It's a special purse for a special occasion.

That's an admirable attitude but it would sting if you had also given her a nice new purse and she chose to wear the uber-expensive one as her main purse and rarely take out the one you gave her, right?

Oh, yeah! And I can imagine how OP communicated that to her DD. I'm sure OP didn't SAY anything but still effectively communicated how put out she was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

Completely agree OP out are so right! Stick to your guns!

[Anonymous]

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

OF COURSE he said that! After you contacted him about it? What the fuck was he going to say? He threw his wife under the bus.

You need to unclench.

[Anonymous]

OP, to truly deal with this, you need to admit that she out-pursed you and it pissed you off.

[Anonymous]

Guys-- the purse was $1800. This is just nuts. Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school student to have a handbag that is the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even if the SIL had the best of intentions and there wasn't a backstory, I would be embarrassed to accept such an expensive gift for my family.

I think the outcome is fine- daughter decided to exchange and have credit for another day. I would not have bothered to vent to the brother- of course, he will defend his wife and you shouldn't get in the middle of that.