Upper class habits?

[Anonymous]

Habits? I'd say drinking, developing unique and expensive hobbies, generally polite and soft spoken, very cultured and for the most part always have a very interesting out of the ordinary story to tell about a personal experience on any given topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't upper classes perceived in movies ALWAYS as being white?

There is actually less upper class in America than there is in South America, Europe, or Asia so maybe for a realistic comparison look at those continents because the upper class in the US is very very little.

Upper classes don't like public embarassment and will avoid as much as possible.

No teen pregnancies
Psychiatric help is an embarrassment and therapy is unheard of.
They always dress well and never wear old raggedy clothing even when doing nothing.
They have help such as nannies, maids, cooks, drivers if need be.
They don't intermingle with the lower classes unless it is for business reasons.
They have to have good table manners and kids are taught from a young age not to intermingle with those of lower classes.
The kids go to the best schools that are often private.
Kids learn music and are pressured to marry well or succeed academically.

Many of these are true of old money in the U.S., but I have to disagree about the bolded. Old money with true class is always on a first-name basis with people such as their regular butcher, vet, doctor, housekeeper, gardener, etc. They teach their kids to treat everyone with the utmost respect and grace and treat those who work for them as if they are friends - which they are.

Yes they will be on first name basis with those who work for them and treat with respect but wont mingle with the same class or befriend them because from young ages are told to not intermingle with them. Respect and being polite is important because of appearances

[Anonymous]

Episcopalian

[Anonymous]

Here is a decent start, which I learned in college and have at least tried to follow, with more unfortunate failings than I can count. It is from the 1890s, but I believe it has held up well.

The True Gentleman

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds
from good will and an acute sense of propriety
and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies;
who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,
the obscure man of his obscurity,
or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,
cringe before power,
or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

John Walter Wayland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't upper classes perceived in movies ALWAYS as being white?

There is actually less upper class in America than there is in South America, Europe, or Asia so maybe for a realistic comparison look at those continents because the upper class in the US is very very little.

Upper classes don't like public embarassment and will avoid as much as possible.

No teen pregnancies
Psychiatric help is an embarrassment and therapy is unheard of.
They always dress well and never wear old raggedy clothing even when doing nothing.
They have help such as nannies, maids, cooks, drivers if need be.
They don't intermingle with the lower classes unless it is for business reasons.
They have to have good table manners and kids are taught from a young age not to intermingle with those of lower classes.
The kids go to the best schools that are often private.
Kids learn music and are pressured to marry well or succeed academically.

Many of these are true of old money in the U.S., but I have to disagree about the bolded. Old money with true class is always on a first-name basis with people such as their regular butcher, vet, doctor, housekeeper, gardener, etc. They teach their kids to treat everyone with the utmost respect and grace and treat those who work for them as if they are friends - which they are.

The White House staff is closer to the Bushes than to the Obamas precisely because the Bushes have spent their entire lives with staff. They are comfortable with them, joke around with them, and are generally very comfortable around the staff because they know where they stand relative to each other. The Obamas, OTOH, have had a more awkward relationship with the staff because they are not used to having so much help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is a decent start, which I learned in college and have at least tried to follow, with more unfortunate failings than I can count. It is from the 1890s, but I believe it has held up well.

The True Gentleman

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds
from good will and an acute sense of propriety
and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies;
who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,
the obscure man of his obscurity,
or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,
cringe before power,
or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

John Walter Wayland

I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a decent start, which I learned in college and have at least tried to follow, with more unfortunate failings than I can count. It is from the 1890s, but I believe it has held up well.

The True Gentleman

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds
from good will and an acute sense of propriety
and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies;
who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,
the obscure man of his obscurity,
or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,
cringe before power,
or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

John Walter Wayland

I like it.

+1 and it definitely applies to "true ladies" too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't upper classes perceived in movies ALWAYS as being white?

There is actually less upper class in America than there is in South America, Europe, or Asia so maybe for a realistic comparison look at those continents because the upper class in the US is very very little.

Upper classes don't like public embarassment and will avoid as much as possible.

No teen pregnancies
Psychiatric help is an embarrassment and therapy is unheard of.
They always dress well and never wear old raggedy clothing even when doing nothing.
They have help such as nannies, maids, cooks, drivers if need be.
They don't intermingle with the lower classes unless it is for business reasons.
They have to have good table manners and kids are taught from a young age not to intermingle with those of lower classes.
The kids go to the best schools that are often private.
Kids learn music and are pressured to marry well or succeed academically.

Many of these are true of old money in the U.S., but I have to disagree about the bolded. Old money with true class is always on a first-name basis with people such as their regular butcher, vet, doctor, housekeeper, gardener, etc. They teach their kids to treat everyone with the utmost respect and grace and treat those who work for them as if they are friends - which they are.

The White House staff is closer to the Bushes than to the Obamas precisely because the Bushes have spent their entire lives with staff. They are comfortable with them, joke around with them, and are generally very comfortable around the staff because they know where they stand relative to each other. The Obamas, OTOH, have had a more awkward relationship with the staff because they are not used to having so much help.

And they continue to see the staff as help but would they have been ok with Chelsea marrying their butler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy quality and keep it forever (clothes, shoes, cars).

Have nicknames for really common names like John and Elizabeth that sound like "Shep", "Biffy", and "Trip". Use the same 5 names over and over again every generation.

Lots of alcohol and very little food at parties.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am laughing so hard. "The True Gentleman" is the creed of the SAE fraternity, and while the sentiments expressed in the poem are quite noble, the SAEs I went to college with were spoiled rich misogynistic snobs whose behavior often typified the worst stereotypes re the privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am laughing so hard. "The True Gentleman" is the creed of the SAE fraternity, and while the sentiments expressed in the poem are quite noble, the SAEs I went to college with were spoiled rich misogynistic snobs whose behavior often typified the worst stereotypes re the privileged.

Too many college kids are "spoiled rich misogynistic snobs whose behavior often typified the worst stereotypes re the privileged". Increasingly, there is intolerable misandry as well, as we all witnessed with Duke and UVa. There was apparently some young lady walking around Columbia University with a mattress to perpetuate a hoax she was assaulted (a privileged Dalton graduate -- a school that makes GDS, Maret and Holton Arms look cheap). It is arguably irresponsible these days to send your son to certain colleges or to agree to make a commencement speech. It is these college kids (men and women) who are most in need of classics like "The True Gentle(man)".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With re. to children:

Boarding school
Tennis, golf, horseback-riding lessons
Music lessons
Travel

IME, hygiene was hit or miss, manners hit or miss, but everyone seemed to know how to play the piano and play a decent game of tennis, even if they never mentioned such before. Also, almost all go to boarding school for HS if they grew up on the East Coast, but not necessarily if they grew up on the West Coast or Midwest.

Haha, lots of truth to this. Also, a family summer home somewhere rustic but exclusive, and quirky nicknames for their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am laughing so hard. "The True Gentleman" is the creed of the SAE fraternity, and while the sentiments expressed in the poem are quite noble, the SAEs I went to college with were spoiled rich misogynistic snobs whose behavior often typified the worst stereotypes re the privileged.

Yes, and let's not forget SAE's more recent creeds, or rather "screeds" as we learned from Oklahoma.

My impressions from observing Boston Brahmin acquaintances are the constant cocktails, faded, high quality furniture that is slightly faded. I always notice that their houses, including the country weekend farm house and barns, are eerily calm at all times. Fresh flowers daily too, mostly from their own gardens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't upper classes perceived in movies ALWAYS as being white?

There is actually less upper class in America than there is in South America, Europe, or Asia so maybe for a realistic comparison look at those continents because the upper class in the US is very very little.

Upper classes don't like public embarassment and will avoid as much as possible.

No teen pregnancies
Psychiatric help is an embarrassment and therapy is unheard of.
They always dress well and never wear old raggedy clothing even when doing nothing.
They have help such as nannies, maids, cooks, drivers if need be.
They don't intermingle with the lower classes unless it is for business reasons.
They have to have good table manners and kids are taught from a young age not to intermingle with those of lower classes.
The kids go to the best schools that are often private.
Kids learn music and are pressured to marry well or succeed academically.

Many of these are true of old money in the U.S., but I have to disagree about the bolded. Old money with true class is always on a first-name basis with people such as their regular butcher, vet, doctor, housekeeper, gardener, etc. They teach their kids to treat everyone with the utmost respect and grace and treat those who work for them as if they are friends - which they are.

What PP was referring to sounded like upper class Latin Americans (people who, as a Latin American descended from the poors, I find typically insufferable). I had an upper class Mexican woman suggest a Mommy and Me class and said "It's not on the bus line, so you don't have to deal with the riffraff." Awful.

[Anonymous]

Land ownership, such as a weekend farm/retreat or joint ownership with cousins of some rustic family summer compound passed down from a captain of industry