Top private (Sidwell, GDS) versus top public (JKLM) for early years: what are the differences?

[Anonymous]

The poster who is tired of going to embassies for Mann fundraiser cannot be a current parent. Held at AU Katzen Arts center at least the last 2 years. Also they don't sound like a Mann parent, where by and far people are welcoming and enjoy the wide variety of families and cultures at the school. Woo hoo for being able to have the opportunity to go to a party at an Embassy. How often can you come back from a date night and say you were in another country while you were out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

I disagree. PP at 17:16, thank you for your thoughtful and detailed discussion. I have many of the same thoughts/concerns. My background is not nearly as illustrious; I've got a lot of Stanford baggage, but since I was raised in California, less of the East Coast knowledge of/concern with names/prestige. Notwithstanding my parents Exeter/Stanford pedigree, I went to excellent public schools all the way through. And I absolutely appreciate the exposure to different types, different backgrounds, ethnicities. I had jobs (retail, restaurant), beginning as soon as I could - even now, 30 years later, I marvel at the people I met, the different realities I saw. It still stuns me that kids these days for the most part don't work. (Other than unpaid internships). That (early, menial) work experience is invaluable, in my opinion. So, turn to now - we have our child at Brent - public on Capitol Hill - it has been phenomenal (currently in K). But the writing is on the wall -our public middle school S.U.C.K.S. So, not going to happen. But I have great concerns (similar to yours) about private school. We absolutely can easily afford it. But, generally (I hold out hope for CHDS, which I hear is "different') don't want to, for many of the same reasons you have articulated. Our child is young - we shall see! But, ideally NOT private, if we can find a good public option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

I disagree. PP at 17:16, thank you for your thoughtful and detailed discussion. I have many of the same thoughts/concerns. My background is not nearly as illustrious; I've got a lot of Stanford baggage, but since I was raised in California, less of the East Coast knowledge of/concern with names/prestige. Notwithstanding my parents Exeter/Stanford pedigree, I went to excellent public schools all the way through. And I absolutely appreciate the exposure to different types, different backgrounds, ethnicities. I had jobs (retail, restaurant), beginning as soon as I could - even now, 30 years later, I marvel at the people I met, the different realities I saw. It still stuns me that kids these days for the most part don't work. (Other than unpaid internships). That (early, menial) work experience is invaluable, in my opinion. So, turn to now - we have our child at Brent - public on Capitol Hill - it has been phenomenal (currently in K). But the writing is on the wall -our public middle school S.U.C.K.S. So, not going to happen. But I have great concerns (similar to yours) about private school. We absolutely can easily afford it. But, generally (I hold out hope for CHDS, which I hear is "different') don't want to, for many of the same reasons you have articulated. Our child is young - we shall see! But, ideally NOT private, if we can find a good public option.

God, I hope this is a parody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

I disagree. PP at 17:16, thank you for your thoughtful and detailed discussion. I have many of the same thoughts/concerns. My background is not nearly as illustrious; I've got a lot of Stanford baggage, but since I was raised in California, less of the East Coast knowledge of/concern with names/prestige. Notwithstanding my parents Exeter/Stanford pedigree, I went to excellent public schools all the way through. And I absolutely appreciate the exposure to different types, different backgrounds, ethnicities. I had jobs (retail, restaurant), beginning as soon as I could - even now, 30 years later, I marvel at the people I met, the different realities I saw. It still stuns me that kids these days for the most part don't work. (Other than unpaid internships). That (early, menial) work experience is invaluable, in my opinion. So, turn to now - we have our child at Brent - public on Capitol Hill - it has been phenomenal (currently in K). But the writing is on the wall -our public middle school S.U.C.K.S. So, not going to happen. But I have great concerns (similar to yours) about private school. We absolutely can easily afford it. But, generally (I hold out hope for CHDS, which I hear is "different') don't want to, for many of the same reasons you have articulated. Our child is young - we shall see! But, ideally NOT private, if we can find a good public option.

God, I hope this is a parody.

Sadly I'm afraid not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pretty interesting. OP asked a particular question looking for some concrete differences between two small groups of schools and looks like there are definitely some public school parents with a big old insecurity complex and chip on their shoulder who need to communicate their righteous values to go public (even though or if they could afford private, of course)... Even after OP and a few PPs remind ppl what OP is specifically asking about! If you know specific differences, tell us!! Those of us that are trying to decide between a private our child was accepted to (which we clearly don't have a moral problem with or we would not have applied), or our local public would like to know!! No need to convince us of your values, or get all defensive!

Yup, weird how people are willing to paint all privates with a broad brush of "elitist". And then feel it necessary to lay outntheirnown pedigree in painful detail. Lack of self awareness, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I get that you want to sound earnest, but you come across as smug and self-righteous. These are attitudes I'd hope to avoid.

Referring to PP at 17:16.

I disagree. PP at 17:16, thank you for your thoughtful and detailed discussion. I have many of the same thoughts/concerns. My background is not nearly as illustrious; I've got a lot of Stanford baggage, but since I was raised in California, less of the East Coast knowledge of/concern with names/prestige. Notwithstanding my parents Exeter/Stanford pedigree, I went to excellent public schools all the way through. And I absolutely appreciate the exposure to different types, different backgrounds, ethnicities. I had jobs (retail, restaurant), beginning as soon as I could - even now, 30 years later, I marvel at the people I met, the different realities I saw. It still stuns me that kids these days for the most part don't work. (Other than unpaid internships). That (early, menial) work experience is invaluable, in my opinion. So, turn to now - we have our child at Brent - public on Capitol Hill - it has been phenomenal (currently in K). But the writing is on the wall -our public middle school S.U.C.K.S. So, not going to happen. But I have great concerns (similar to yours) about private school. We absolutely can easily afford it. But, generally (I hold out hope for CHDS, which I hear is "different') don't want to, for many of the same reasons you have articulated. Our child is young - we shall see! But, ideally NOT private, if we can find a good public option.

God, I hope this is a parody.

Sadly I'm afraid not.

You are right! Not a parody - but I guess also not written for YOU (since you apparently are not wresting with these issues) -just a commiseration (from my lowly, non-Hamptons second home perspective ) with 17:16 (who was excoriated above).
I do love DCUM anonymity - you are mad at me/upset by what I wrote. Like I care. Doesn't mean what I wrote is untrue.

And, not totally unrelated to OP's original thread, which at heart has to do with "differences" between public and private.

[Anonymous]

Nobody's mad -- just amused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pretty interesting. OP asked a particular question looking for some concrete differences between two small groups of schools and looks like there are definitely some public school parents with a big old insecurity complex and chip on their shoulder who need to communicate their righteous values to go public (even though or if they could afford private, of course)... Even after OP and a few PPs remind ppl what OP is specifically asking about! If you know specific differences, tell us!! Those of us that are trying to decide between a private our child was accepted to (which we clearly don't have a moral problem with or we would not have applied), or our local public would like to know!! No need to convince us of your values, or get all defensive!

From the one who was pissed all over. Well, I guess you are now changing the thread to "if finances are not an issue, what would you do? - JKLM or private from the start?" which I don't think was the reason for the original question. We started at a JKLM, thought about private schools my family had gone to, STA, NCS, Sidwell, GDS, etc, and what we knew of what they were like now. That includes the incredible increase in tuition, which meant that many of my smart classmates returning to the area could not afford to send their smart kids to their old schools at all, or could only do so after going to JKLM up until 6th grade (legacy plus intelligence means admission, I have never seen it fail once), and that the tuition increase also seemed to be a game changer overall in terms of who goes to these schools - you either have to be diverse, a legacy, or uber rich or uber smart, friends who had been forced to pull legacies due to bullying, and the fact that most of the parents who were sending their second (or third) generation kids there were not parents I liked when we were classmates, and therefore not families we would want to spend much time with now, and the fact that quite a few of the private school crowd I went to school with whom I still consider friends, who have returned to this area, have opted for public when money was no object, granted, some of them not in DC, but nonetheless, we felt sufficiently secure as part of an opt out movement so that we started in public and before JKLM ended we found a charter school that we strongly believe offers a better (albeit less well rounded) education for our kids without all the social BS and with a strong dose of diversity (not international, and not superficial - meaning a token black kid in every class) and opted for Basis as opposed to private school or what other private school alums here are doing, which is sending their kids to Deal and Wilson (we actually will know kids who are applying to college in two years from Wilson). I cannot say what we would have done otherwise because I felt Deal was too large, but I strongly advise that all parents thinking about private schools spend enough time in the private school forum to get a healthy dose of the issues surrounding handbags (look up the thread if you are a mom, it blew my mind), social climbing, money that parents feel is extorted in addition to tuition, bullying, and in the later years acquaintance rape (STA and NCS) and eating disorders before they decide to put their children into that environment, because if they found it the least bit stressful as children (we did not), for the sake of their children, they might want to reconsider and move out of DC. Finally, there are a not insignificant number of educated parents who feel that their children have a better chance at getting into the college they most desire from public DC schools as opposed to private DC schools. I do not know whether or not this is true but it is certainly a factor that any motivated parent should consider. We did not find any differences in the early years that we felt we were not compensating for as a family, and what we heard from parents at the private schools did not make us change our minds - if anything, in some private schools, the assumption is so strong that the parents are teaching the children at home that they seem to move a bit slower academically. So that is my completely on topic two cents. My three cents are somewhere above and have thankfully been acknowledged by some people as being from a thoughtful parent who cares deeply about her children's education, and have been pissed all over by a bunch who sound like they would fit right in as private school parents, so now I think they need to consider the well being of their children. If you did not grow up here, did not know the private school population then vs now, really take the time to read all the nastiness on the private school forum and acknowledge the reality that these are very small communities, so at least some of the vipers posting will be the parents of your children's peers, and then make an informed decision weighing all the nastiness and honesty that comes out in an anonymous forum vs the mental, physical, emotional, and academic well being of your child, the values you want them to grow up with, whether they will lose their faith if they go to an (on the surface) school of a faith you hold dear but that does not embody the principles of that faith, and all the other factors.... Are our friends from our HYP undergrad years correct that their kids will have better odds at getting into the college they want to from Wilson than Sidwell? I don't know, but quite a few of them honestly believe this premise, so it seems worthy of a bit of investigation.....Yale or Jail....

[Anonymous]

Please use paragraphs. Can't read 20:19 at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pretty interesting. OP asked a particular question looking for some concrete differences between two small groups of schools and looks like there are definitely some public school parents with a big old insecurity complex and chip on their shoulder who need to communicate their righteous values to go public (even though or if they could afford private, of course)... Even after OP and a few PPs remind ppl what OP is specifically asking about! If you know specific differences, tell us!! Those of us that are trying to decide between a private our child was accepted to (which we clearly don't have a moral problem with or we would not have applied), or our local public would like to know!! No need to convince us of your values, or get all defensive!

From the one who was pissed all over. Well, I guess you are now changing the thread to "if finances are not an issue, what would you do? - JKLM or private from the start?" which I don't think was the reason for the original question. We started at a JKLM, thought about private schools my family had gone to, STA, NCS, Sidwell, GDS, etc, and what we knew of what they were like now. That includes the incredible increase in tuition, which meant that many of my smart classmates returning to the area could not afford to send their smart kids to their old schools at all, or could only do so after going to JKLM up until 6th grade (legacy plus intelligence means admission, I have never seen it fail once), and that the tuition increase also seemed to be a game changer overall in terms of who goes to these schools - you either have to be diverse, a legacy, or uber rich or uber smart, friends who had been forced to pull legacies due to bullying, and the fact that most of the parents who were sending their second (or third) generation kids there were not parents I liked when we were classmates, and therefore not families we would want to spend much time with now, and the fact that quite a few of the private school crowd I went to school with whom I still consider friends, who have returned to this area, have opted for public when money was no object, granted, some of them not in DC, but nonetheless, we felt sufficiently secure as part of an opt out movement so that we started in public and before JKLM ended we found a charter school that we strongly believe offers a better (albeit less well rounded) education for our kids without all the social BS and with a strong dose of diversity (not international, and not superficial - meaning a token black kid in every class) and opted for Basis as opposed to private school or what other private school alums here are doing, which is sending their kids to Deal and Wilson (we actually will know kids who are applying to college in two years from Wilson). I cannot say what we would have done otherwise because I felt Deal was too large, but I strongly advise that all parents thinking about private schools spend enough time in the private school forum to get a healthy dose of the issues surrounding handbags (look up the thread if you are a mom, it blew my mind), social climbing, money that parents feel is extorted in addition to tuition, bullying, and in the later years acquaintance rape (STA and NCS) and eating disorders before they decide to put their children into that environment, because if they found it the least bit stressful as children (we did not), for the sake of their children, they might want to reconsider and move out of DC. Finally, there are a not insignificant number of educated parents who feel that their children have a better chance at getting into the college they most desire from public DC schools as opposed to private DC schools. I do not know whether or not this is true but it is certainly a factor that any motivated parent should consider. We did not find any differences in the early years that we felt we were not compensating for as a family, and what we heard from parents at the private schools did not make us change our minds - if anything, in some private schools, the assumption is so strong that the parents are teaching the children at home that they seem to move a bit slower academically. So that is my completely on topic two cents. My three cents are somewhere above and have thankfully been acknowledged by some people as being from a thoughtful parent who cares deeply about her children's education, and have been pissed all over by a bunch who sound like they would fit right in as private school parents, so now I think they need to consider the well being of their children. If you did not grow up here, did not know the private school population then vs now, really take the time to read all the nastiness on the private school forum and acknowledge the reality that these are very small communities, so at least some of the vipers posting will be the parents of your children's peers, and then make an informed decision weighing all the nastiness and honesty that comes out in an anonymous forum vs the mental, physical, emotional, and academic well being of your child, the values you want them to grow up with, whether they will lose their faith if they go to an (on the surface) school of a faith you hold dear but that does not embody the principles of that faith, and all the other factors.... Are our friends from our HYP undergrad years correct that their kids will have better odds at getting into the college they want to from Wilson than Sidwell? I don't know, but quite a few of them honestly believe this premise, so it seems worthy of a bit of investigation.....Yale or Jail....

oMG, please stop . . Just the sheer length of this gives me a headache. Isn't one page long post enough on this topic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who is tired of going to embassies for Mann fundraiser cannot be a current parent. Held at AU Katzen Arts center at least the last 2 years. Also they don't sound like a Mann parent, where by and far people are welcoming and enjoy the wide variety of families and cultures at the school. Woo hoo for being able to have the opportunity to go to a party at an Embassy. How often can you come back from a date night and say you were in another country while you were out?

long enough that counting the German, French, Italian, etc embassies over the last ten years and whether only spouse without security clearance attended was a HUGE headache. Also had to list an embassy where a private school reunion (for a different school) was held. After the security questionnaire we stopped even bothering to find out where the auctions were held, and that was about two years ago. Try figuring out how many play dates you have to have accompanied your child on to list the parent as a foreign contact, knowing that said parent might be interviewed.... and that as welcoming and joyful as people are about their different cultural backgrounds, they don't want to hear from you that someone might be in touch with them because you concluded you had to list them as a "foreign contact." Most Mann parents are above security clearances, I know, but facing something like a 700 page questionnaire about every foreign contact you have had in the last ten years, with attendance at functions at foreign embassies as a specific question was so not fun we decided to only attend the auctions of the school we have more kids at now. 70's date nights at embassies you forget the names of are definitely not worth it three or four years later...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who tout diversity, the racial diversity at GDS in the LS is much, much greater than the racial diversity I find at Lafayette. I would say the the socio-economic status of the families are similar, but because GDS can choose class composition, it ends up with a lot more African American and Asian American (or at least half Asian) kids than at our neighborhood public.

many would say that racial diversity without SES diversity is fairly meaningless, because everyone has become part of the dominant culture....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pretty interesting. OP asked a particular question looking for some concrete differences between two small groups of schools and looks like there are definitely some public school parents with a big old insecurity complex and chip on their shoulder who need to communicate their righteous values to go public (even though or if they could afford private, of course)... Even after OP and a few PPs remind ppl what OP is specifically asking about! If you know specific differences, tell us!! Those of us that are trying to decide between a private our child was accepted to (which we clearly don't have a moral problem with or we would not have applied), or our local public would like to know!! No need to convince us of your values, or get all defensive!

From the one who was pissed all over. Well, I guess you are now changing the thread to "if finances are not an issue, what would you do? - JKLM or private from the start?" which I don't think was the reason for the original question. We started at a JKLM, thought about private schools my family had gone to, STA, NCS, Sidwell, GDS, etc, and what we knew of what they were like now. That includes the incredible increase in tuition, which meant that many of my smart classmates returning to the area could not afford to send their smart kids to their old schools at all, or could only do so after going to JKLM up until 6th grade (legacy plus intelligence means admission, I have never seen it fail once), and that the tuition increase also seemed to be a game changer overall in terms of who goes to these schools - you either have to be diverse, a legacy, or uber rich or uber smart, friends who had been forced to pull legacies due to bullying, and the fact that most of the parents who were sending their second (or third) generation kids there were not parents I liked when we were classmates, and therefore not families we would want to spend much time with now, and the fact that quite a few of the private school crowd I went to school with whom I still consider friends, who have returned to this area, have opted for public when money was no object, granted, some of them not in DC, but nonetheless, we felt sufficiently secure as part of an opt out movement so that we started in public and before JKLM ended we found a charter school that we strongly believe offers a better (albeit less well rounded) education for our kids without all the social BS and with a strong dose of diversity (not international, and not superficial - meaning a token black kid in every class) and opted for Basis as opposed to private school or what other private school alums here are doing, which is sending their kids to Deal and Wilson (we actually will know kids who are applying to college in two years from Wilson). I cannot say what we would have done otherwise because I felt Deal was too large, but I strongly advise that all parents thinking about private schools spend enough time in the private school forum to get a healthy dose of the issues surrounding handbags (look up the thread if you are a mom, it blew my mind), social climbing, money that parents feel is extorted in addition to tuition, bullying, and in the later years acquaintance rape (STA and NCS) and eating disorders before they decide to put their children into that environment, because if they found it the least bit stressful as children (we did not), for the sake of their children, they might want to reconsider and move out of DC. Finally, there are a not insignificant number of educated parents who feel that their children have a better chance at getting into the college they most desire from public DC schools as opposed to private DC schools. I do not know whether or not this is true but it is certainly a factor that any motivated parent should consider. We did not find any differences in the early years that we felt we were not compensating for as a family, and what we heard from parents at the private schools did not make us change our minds - if anything, in some private schools, the assumption is so strong that the parents are teaching the children at home that they seem to move a bit slower academically. So that is my completely on topic two cents. My three cents are somewhere above and have thankfully been acknowledged by some people as being from a thoughtful parent who cares deeply about her children's education, and have been pissed all over by a bunch who sound like they would fit right in as private school parents, so now I think they need to consider the well being of their children. If you did not grow up here, did not know the private school population then vs now, really take the time to read all the nastiness on the private school forum and acknowledge the reality that these are very small communities, so at least some of the vipers posting will be the parents of your children's peers, and then make an informed decision weighing all the nastiness and honesty that comes out in an anonymous forum vs the mental, physical, emotional, and academic well being of your child, the values you want them to grow up with, whether they will lose their faith if they go to an (on the surface) school of a faith you hold dear but that does not embody the principles of that faith, and all the other factors.... Are our friends from our HYP undergrad years correct that their kids will have better odds at getting into the college they want to from Wilson than Sidwell? I don't know, but quite a few of them honestly believe this premise, so it seems worthy of a bit of investigation.....Yale or Jail....

oMG, please stop . . Just the sheer length of this gives me a headache. Isn't one page long post enough on this topic?

not when it is followed by a specific lecture from a dictatorial parent (not OP) who wants everyone to stay on topic, ending with the observation that parents who send their kids to public school when they have the means to do otherwise have what was it? A huge chip and insecurities on their shoulders? Sorry, you just got schooled, sista

[Anonymous]

as people have said on other threads, you have the right to choose what you read, members of this forum have the right to choose what they post (within limits). While long winded, this was well within the lines and an attempt at a wake up call to would be private school parents.......... and you would miss out on the Janney mom wife swap as well....

[Anonymous]

An attempt is just what I would call it, let's leave it at that, seems a bit of sock puppetry is going on.