My MIL just told my 9-year old that she was going to turn into a "fatty" if she ate whipped cream...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big deal. It's the truth.

yeah

It's the truth.

Is your daughter a fatty, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Furthermore, my children have always been explicitly allowed to be rude to any adult who comments negatively on their weight and appearance. I teach them that people like that aren't worth politeness or manners so they are free to be as rude as they like.

That will keep them in a job for a long time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who suffered from a serious eating disorder for more than 15 years, I would be LIVID if someone made a similar comment to my child. Telling a child they are going to turn into a fatty if they use whipped cream does not come from a place of caring. It is not sound diet or health advice. That comment was loaded with guilt, shame and fear and it is unacceptable to foist that on a young girl.

I totally agree. Sorry you had to go through an eating disorder.

Right, people don't realize the effects comments such as these can have. Sometimes older people who make these comments have disordered thoughts about eating themselves but don't realize it.

Good for you for for overcoming your eating disorder and speaking up to help others!

The cause of disordered eating in most cases can be laid squarely on the shoulders of parents who don't teach their children healthy eating habits when they are a lot younger. Placing the blame on an older person who sees the kid occasionally is just an attempt to shift responsibility.
Go to other parts of the world where people eat moderately, exercise and don't indulge in sheer gluttony and you will see they are usually not overweight. Now this is not because an older person there will not make a similar comment.
Take responsibility for your actions rather than ascribe it to others who may have minimal involvement with your children.

Eating disorders have lots of causes, and while one comment standing by itself will not be the cause of a disorder, comments like this on an ongoing basis create an unhealthy atmosphere surrounding the child. Statements that certain foods are "bad" and warnings to avoid becoming a "fatty" do not contribute to healthy attitudes toward food and fitness. Vulnerability to eating disorders seems to run in families, so I would watch out for that also.

Eating disorders are nothing to laugh about. They can kill. Looks are way less important than good health.

[Anonymous]

8 pages of nonsense and one PP patting herself on the back repeatedly.

Overeating makes you fat.

A dollop or two of whipped cream now and again doesn't.

If you really think it's appropriate to model name-calling and hyperbole about weigt gain to a 9YO, you're an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who suffered from a serious eating disorder for more than 15 years, I would be LIVID if someone made a similar comment to my child. Telling a child they are going to turn into a fatty if they use whipped cream does not come from a place of caring. It is not sound diet or health advice. That comment was loaded with guilt, shame and fear and it is unacceptable to foist that on a young girl.

I totally agree. Sorry you had to go through an eating disorder.

Right, people don't realize the effects comments such as these can have. Sometimes older people who make these comments have disordered thoughts about eating themselves but don't realize it.
Good for you for for overcoming your eating disorder and speaking up to help others!

The cause of disordered eating in most cases can be laid squarely on the shoulders of parents who don't teach their children healthy eating habits when they are a lot younger. Placing the blame on an older person who sees the kid occasionally is just an attempt to shift responsibility.

Go to other parts of the world where people eat moderately, exercise and don't indulge in sheer gluttony and you will see they are usually not overweight. Now this is not because an older person there will not make a similar comment.

Take responsibility for your actions rather than ascribe it to others who may have minimal involvement with your children.

So you are saying 9 year olds are responsible for their self esteem and anorexia and bulimia are rooted in a lack of knowledge about nutrition? Go away. You have nothing worth contributing to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:do you want your kids to think of ice cream, cupcakes, buttery croissant as junk foods?

It is junk food. Main ingredients are fat, sugar and refined starch.

I am fine if my kids don't eat that frequently. Thankfully, they do not feel deprived because they know that they can indulge themselves when we go out to dine by ordering something really decadent and luscious for dessert.

So expensive junk is ok? This is just like calling someone a fatty. Why put such a negative label on it but still allow it?

No, expensive junk is not ok either if you are having it every day. If you have a fancy dessert - once in a while - as part of a celebratory meal, you are associating it as a treat. It is then savored and anticipated, and there is no guilt or negative emotion attached to it.

If cupcakes and ice cream is available at home, your child will eat that as snack whenever they are hungry. It is not fair to put the burden on the kid to have the discipline to choose healthy foods at home when junk is readily available at home. As parents, we are responsible to make available the healthy choices to our kids at home. When you are ordering a dessert in a restaurant, it is not an everyday occurrence. And, because your kids are eating healthy and nutritious food most of the times, an occasional decadent treat, is not going to harm them.

A warm brownie with a side of icecream, whipped cream and cherry on top at the restaurant becomes the treat that my kids can enjoy and savor as a dining out experience. If it is available at home at all times, I am sure they would not want to snack on fruits and veggies. In fact, by associating desserts with celebrations means that there are very positive connotations associated with these foods - but my kids know that this is not a staple food - it is in the category of an occasional treat.

I think you have major issues with food. Not everyone feels guilty and negatively when they eat a cupcake or a brownie.

I think not having junk in your house ever is a recipe for disaster. We have sweets in our house and, guess what? My kids still opt to snack on fruits, cheese, carrot sticks, etc. They eat dessert after dinner most nights...they are super skinny and need the calories... but they don't sit around gorging themselves w/ ice cream and cookies all day long. But your kids might once they have some freedom and mommy is not there controlling everything Larla puts in her mouth. What happens when Larla starts buying lunch at school? Or when she goes to college? I think you are setting up your kids to have weight problems, which I imagine is your worst nightmare. Good luck!

LOL. Why should it be my worst nightmare when we are a fit family? We have nothing to fear my friend. We are not killing our children by making them eat junk. I look at people around me with obese kids who will close their eyes to the problem they perpetuate at home. Oh yeah, their kids wear clothes made for kids who are a few years older than them, because their tummies hang down like a middle aged beer bellied man.

Take care of what is happening in your house and do not worry about what is happening in mine. I care for my kids enough not to poison them with junk food. And they make good choices not only in their eating habits but all other choices in their lives. Parents who are checked out will feed their kid crap. The obese child whose neck you cannot see? He did not become like that in one day. This was years of being fed a poor diet.

And the saddest part is that the obese individual is also chronically malnourished. Because this fat is not only extra calories but empty calories.

Uh, my family probably ate more healthy tan yours did. No junk food at home. And you know what? I was still obese. Was 220 pounds in the 8th grade. Not necessarily because of anything they did wrong, but don't assume that your healthy lifestyle will guarantee you the thin children you feel you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Furthermore, my children have always been explicitly allowed to be rude to any adult who comments negatively on their weight and appearance. I teach them that people like that aren't worth politeness or manners so they are free to be as rude as they like.

That will keep them in a job for a long time

What kind of job do you have? I have had lots of jobs and no one at work has EVER commented on my face or my weight, regardless of my weight at the time. Are you a prostitute? Stripper? Model?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Furthermore, my children have always been explicitly allowed to be rude to any adult who comments negatively on their weight and appearance. I teach them that people like that aren't worth politeness or manners so they are free to be as rude as they like.

That will keep them in a job for a long time

What kind of job do you have? I have had lots of jobs and no one at work has EVER commented on my face or my weight, regardless of my weight at the time. Are you a prostitute? Stripper? Model?

yes to all three
whore turned stripper turned model - I worked my way up.

wtf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My point is that you will not always be able to control what your kids eat. I know plenty of kids (esp girls) whose mothers are so obsessed with what they eat that it backfires. When the girls get a little freedom, they go crazy eating junk food because it was "forbidden" their whole lives. Plus, what better way to get back at Mommy Dearest than by getting fat? Because, at the end of the day, nobody can control what goes into a person's mouth other than the person herself (once she's an adult). So, again, good luck to you and your "fit" family.

You know some anecdotal examples of how girls in your circle behave and you know all about my child? I am not obsessed about what my kids eat, because I actually know what they eat. We are the family that can afford organic and wholesome food and I am not some lazy parent who will throw junk at my kids. My kids are in HS and eat very well and also know how to cook. They are smart and prepared individuals who can handle life and have life skills. Not neurotic kids who have eating disorders like you seem to know.

Perhaps you should not worry about my kid and get educated about how to raise your own. They do not have good role models around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My point is that you will not always be able to control what your kids eat. I know plenty of kids (esp girls) whose mothers are so obsessed with what they eat that it backfires. When the girls get a little freedom, they go crazy eating junk food because it was "forbidden" their whole lives. Plus, what better way to get back at Mommy Dearest than by getting fat? Because, at the end of the day, nobody can control what goes into a person's mouth other than the person herself (once she's an adult). So, again, good luck to you and your "fit" family.

You know some anecdotal examples of how girls in your circle behave and you know all about my child? I am not obsessed about what my kids eat, because I actually know what they eat. We are the family that can afford organic and wholesome food and I am not some lazy parent who will throw junk at my kids. My kids are in HS and eat very well and also know how to cook. They are smart and prepared individuals who can handle life and have life skills. Not neurotic kids who have eating disorders like you seem to know.

Perhaps you should not worry about my kid and get educated about how to raise your own. They do not have good role models around them.

You're a pill, and you aren't contributing anything meaningful to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Furthermore, my children have always been explicitly allowed to be rude to any adult who comments negatively on their weight and appearance. I teach them that people like that aren't worth politeness or manners so they are free to be as rude as they like.

That will keep them in a job for a long time

What kind of job do you have? I have had lots of jobs and no one at work has EVER commented on my face or my weight, regardless of my weight at the time. Are you a prostitute? Stripper? Model?

+1

[Anonymous]

Who cares?

My grandmother used to say that kind of stuff all the time in hopes of steering us away from bad foods.

"Don't eat that candy, your teeth will fall out"
"Don't eat too much cake, you'll get fat and not fit in your new pants"
"Don't drink that soda, you'll die young"

I hate what America has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My point is that you will not always be able to control what your kids eat. I know plenty of kids (esp girls) whose mothers are so obsessed with what they eat that it backfires. When the girls get a little freedom, they go crazy eating junk food because it was "forbidden" their whole lives. Plus, what better way to get back at Mommy Dearest than by getting fat? Because, at the end of the day, nobody can control what goes into a person's mouth other than the person herself (once she's an adult). So, again, good luck to you and your "fit" family.

You know some anecdotal examples of how girls in your circle behave and you know all about my child? I am not obsessed about what my kids eat, because I actually know what they eat. We are the family that can afford organic and wholesome food and I am not some lazy parent who will throw junk at my kids. My kids are in HS and eat very well and also know how to cook. They are smart and prepared individuals who can handle life and have life skills. Not neurotic kids who have eating disorders like you seem to know.

Perhaps you should not worry about my kid and get educated about how to raise your own. They do not have good role models around them.

My observations are not based on "some anecdotal examples of how girls in [my] circle behave." I'm a college professor and see what happens to kids (esp young women) with controlling parents year after year. They get a little freedom and they end up eating, drinking, and partying too much. They make bad decisions, often because it's the first time they've ever had to make any decisions. I think you, not I, are the one who needs a little more education. Kids with eating disorders are not "neurotic," as you claim. Often they are the "perfect" kids who appear to be able to "handle life and have life skills." In other words, they're kids just like yours.