I haven't figured out how people raise children in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's been hard for DH and I to make friends in our age group because we're relatively young parents for this area (29/32) though relatively old first time parents where we're both from.

I'm almost 40, and I have close friends in the area aged 25-50+, all with young children. Your friends don't need to be in your narrow age group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So you equate high income to "bright"/brains?

Yes, in the District of Columbia. Not necessarily in Hollywood or Miami, but here, yes. If you are making $850K a year and you are an equity partner at Arnold, there is an excellent chance you are brighter than the average American. Are you really disputing that supposition?

The parallel is not assured at all, though: the -smartest- people I know in the area are not high income.

Yes, I dispute that supposition. I know lots of e.g. academics and public interest lawyers who are smarter than the partners at law firms I know.

"Brighter than the average American" is not what I was getting at. I was getting at, "brighter than other DC-based professionals." In that latter regard, $$$ =/= brains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

Actually, higher income means, pursued higher income.

[Anonymous]

OP - We're in the same boat. Bought a house pre-kids in close in Silver Spring, but work in downtown, DC. Couldn't get good childcare in our neighborhood, so DS goes to a very expensive daycare near my office. We have another on the way, so will soon have a $40K per year daycare bill. Pre-kids the commute was up to 45 minutes, all metro and on foot. Now with daycare drop off, commute is about 75 minutes each way. Thank goodness DS loves the metro because he spends more time with us commuting than he does awake at home on weekdays. We only work 8 hour days. Our house has declined in value and although we've outgrown it we can't afford to sell. It feels like we're working really hard and not getting a good quality of life in return. We'd love to leave this area. I loved it pre-kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

Long-time Kent resident here -- living just a block away from Lowell for years. Please, folks, do not be fooled by the well-rehearsed facades so common to the neighborhood. Plenty of people have trust-funds or other inherited family wealth and are definitely not the "best and the brightest." The luckiest, maybe, but not the brightest. Many of these people lay it all on so thick simply to make everyone else believe they really are the best, etc., but this facade is a mile wide and an inch deep. It doesn't take long to figure out that these people are not smarter, more clever, more hard-working, etc. than the average person -- they just hit the lottery.

Truth is, that to afford the lifestyle (expensive house, private school, nanny, housekeeper, Chevy Chase Club, etc.), one truly needs a trust fund. Likely, someone earning their own money would have the good sense to realize they are surrounded by some of the best public schools in the country -- and that they ought to take advantage of them! Honestly, all of this keeping up with the Joneses must be exhausting -- especially when the Joneses so often have the invisible hand of family money keeping them afloat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some good semi-rural, beautiful places that also have a lot of highly educated people & some culture? I mean besides Aspen.

Charlottesville.

Portland, Maine.

Portsmouth, NH.

Ithaca, NY.

[Anonymous]

I like it here reasonably well. I wish the weather were better - too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer! I don't really object to the expense, having grown up in NYC. However, I do feel like there are more self-important people here than there were in NY. I just ignore them. We live near some nice playgrounds, a few public pools, and decent restaurants in Old Town Alexandria. Public school will be a problem, but there are some "cheaper" privates ($15K) that are options. However, we only have one kid, and only plan to have one kid, not because of the expense, but just because that is always what we wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

Long-time Kent resident here -- living just a block away from Lowell for years. Please, folks, do not be fooled by the well-rehearsed facades so common to the neighborhood. Plenty of people have trust-funds or other inherited family wealth and are definitely not the "best and the brightest." The luckiest, maybe, but not the brightest. Many of these people lay it all on so thick simply to make everyone else believe they really are the best, etc., but this facade is a mile wide and an inch deep. It doesn't take long to figure out that these people are not smarter, more clever, more hard-working, etc. than the average person -- they just hit the lottery.

Truth is, that to afford the lifestyle (expensive house, private school, nanny, housekeeper, Chevy Chase Club, etc.), one truly needs a trust fund. Likely, someone earning their own money would have the good sense to realize they are surrounded by some of the best public schools in the country -- and that they ought to take advantage of them! Honestly, all of this keeping up with the Joneses must be exhausting -- especially when the Joneses so often have the invisible hand of family money keeping them afloat!

So what you are saying is we should move to Fairfax and send our kids to 3000 people schools because they are "good"? And I put good in quotations because we know about the gang problems, the busing, the high student to teacher ratio etc etc. And if most of us hit a genetic lottery that would posit that we inherited most of our family's smart genes to keep this wealth going. Of course a lot of people in wealthy areas have trust funds that's why the areas are wealthy. Just because your family worked hard enough to create multigenerational wealth doesn't diminish your accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy part is some people LOVE the weather here. I don't like the hot summers, but we have mild winters and exceptionally long spring and fall. Also, where is it that has year-round ideal weather? Maybe in Northern California which is just insanely expensive.

It's 100 degrees today and it's May!! DC's seasons = Hot (May - October); Mild (November); Unplowed streets (December - February) and Tourist (Apil).

Agree! There are probably only 10 or 15 days a year that are good, sunny, mild weather ones. The rest are either absurdly hot and humid, cold or rainy.

[Anonymous]

If yo don't like living here, then you should leave. We live in DC, are happy with our public school, have had awesome childcare, have commutes of less than 30 minutes, and have a decent-sized house. We are not rich but make a comfortable living. We have lots of friends who have the same philosphy we do regarding parenting (definitely NOT helicopters).

It's just been a matter of finding what it takes to make us happy, and if you can't do that here, then go somewhere else. I'm tired of people acting like DC is so horrible and other cities are magically wonderful. I love living here and I'm not rich, a snob, or an elitist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Every once in a while someone starts a thread like this that stirs up a brouhaha. Have you noticed that most things you complain about can be solved with more money? The problem seems to be that you don't have enough and other people who have more beat you to the closer/larger house with better things for you LO.

I wouldn't say it in such a pissy way, but this is actually the succinct answer to OP's question. How do people raise children pretty easily in DC? They have HHIs of about $400-700K. Very common up here where I live.

You buy a nice sized home with plenty of bedrooms, you send your kid to either JKLM or a private of your choice (easily), you hire a legal nanny to watch the kids until you get home and she drives your minivan to soccer practice. Your housecleaner was there today, so no probs there. So was the lawn crew.

If you have the right nanny, maybe she cooked you all something healthy for dinner. She shopped for you at Whole Foods while you worked. If not, you go to Sushi-Ko or Pete's Apizza and call it a night. Your commute was about 36 minutes, door to door (11th and Penn to 35th and Macomb). It's all good, and really the only thing you're stressed about is making gluten-free pancakes for your daughter to bring to the pajama day party at School ____ .

You really ought to keep that sort of answer to yourself. You are clearly boasting in the face of someone who is frustrated. Your HHI is your norm, not hers. Go make your pancakes and deliver them from your helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

But it is relative. You can put your broad brush way now before you embarrass yourself further discussing the high income needed for AU Park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Fact: The people who have recently moved to upper NW(Last 10yrs) are wealthy either by their own means or trust funds. THey're the brightest, go-getters in this area and they can afford to live in DC comfortably.

Data to back your statement up, please. I smell some bs!

I have some! NP here. Checking 2010 US Census data, I can see that approx. 40% of the people in my very immediate neighborhood make more than $200,000 a year. This is a 10-fold increase from 10 years ago. As I click around the rest of upper NW DC in 20015, 20016, 20008 and 20007, I see the same thing.

We can debate whether $200,000 a year + is 'wealthy' or not, but I think it's safe to say where the trend is going here in CCDC and AU Park. It's LawyerTown now. Not so much NPRtown

Look under "more maps" then click "Income"

Looking at the map actually saddens me. Those poor people in Bethesda have almost no diversity. It's about 80% white and the Asians out number the African Americans. Crazy-ness.

http://projects.nytimes.com/census/2010/explorer?ref=us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it's been hard for DH and I to make friends in our age group because we're relatively young parents for this area (29/32) though relatively old first time parents where we're both from.

I'm almost 40, and I have close friends in the area aged 25-50+, all with young children. Your friends don't need to be in your narrow age group.

I would echo what the previous poster said. I am a relatively young parent too--I say relatively because I am 32, but had my first child when I was 24. My friends though range from my age to early 50s. It is really not about the age.

Here are some other ideas for you OP--Can you or your husband bike to work? DC is so much more bike friendly now and your 5 mile commute could probably be done in the same or less time than you are spending in the car. You also fit your exercise in and it clears your head.

Have you joined a pool this summer? Try the PG Pool in Mt. Rainier--you will form a community and destress and have fun! I would also say you could find way cheaper child care than 2k a month. That seems really high and a nanny share, in home day care could save you a ton of money.

I guess I would say that DC can be stressful, but I am able to carve out a pretty low key, stress free life here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How shallow are you people to make the weather a major factor in where you live? It's all about jobs and education for the kids. Anything else, like real estate values, follows the jobs and education picture. Anything else is much less important.

Oh god, you're obnoxious. Weather matters because it's about being able to get out and enjoy the outdoors with your family. Where I grew up people spend most of the summer hiking/biking/camping/fishing and most of the fall and winter skiing, hunting, etc. It's about a lifestyle and values. And FWIW, I grew up in the sticks where people didn't obsess over jobs and education like they do here, and somehow I'm still smart and motivated enough to have a great job in this seriously competitive city. It's not so cut and dried.

You're right, it's about values. Jobs and education are more important to me than outdoor recreation. I spend maybe 2 hours a week outside except in the summers.