Generational wealth. What's behind the obsession?

[Anonymous]

If you are shepherding your generational wealth correctly, you will be leaving the money you earn mostly to the grandkids instead of your children.

The beauty of generational wealth is that it provides a financial leg-up to your kids, and that you can actually create a modest generational wealth in your own lifetime.

The biggest benefit of generational wealth is in educating the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to understand the obsession behind generational wealth. If your retirement is on target, your kids college education funded and you own a home then why are you obsessively stressing over the generation beyond your kids?

I’ve built a mini-empire with my IT business and having homes in Lake Tahoe (Nevada), Wyoming, and Florida. I want my kids, their kids, and their kids’ kids to enjoy that. They say family wealth is lost within 3 generations so I need to ensure that doesn’t happen.

Interesting those are all no state income tax locations.

And your point? This is exactly what anyone with money does (over $10M+). You use any legal method possible to minimize taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because poverty sucks. I can from wealth and my wife does not. For the first time in my life I got to experience someone who was actually poor and crying while telling me how much they struggle. I still don't truly understand poverty. But I'll do everything I can do so that our kids have more than we did.

Jeez you’re not too bright are you? It’s very easy to understand poverty. Maybe visuals would help you. Watch some documentaries about families struggling.

I don’t know how people can go through life and not know people who are poor, people who are rich and middle class. It must be stifling to live in such a small box.

Okay my kids are growing up very privileged in a nice suburb. They will likely go to to a top private college. Now, you tell me, at what point are they going to actually understand poverty. Knowing is not the same as understanding.

And I'm the US we have a powerful thing call property taxes. You can pretty much shelter your life by living in exclusive neighborhoods, going to exclusive restaurants, flying business, etc. you can actually spend your entire life and not know a single person who is is dirt poor. This is not Nigeria where a billionaire may have a beggar as neighbor. This is the US. Poverty is well hidden here. So whether the trust is uncomfortable to you or not, many of us who live in these "exclusive" suburbs live in a box. Woohoo OMG Becky someone got shot where where look at Channel 9 OMG .....so ridiculous

You can meet people while working certain jobs alongside them, going to college with them, playing sports with them. A lot of the insulation you describe is due to actively trying to stay in the box to avoid poor people and only encountering them in service positions. I'd say that is actually a pretty unusual experience.

Actually, my kids grew up in a privileged suburb. However, we chose one where along with the wealth, there is a huge concentration of lower income/just above poverty people who choose this suburb for it's excellent schools. And we chose to live in the area where the ES/MS/HS have this "poverty/lower income" students. Our ES was 28%+ free/redueced lunches with another 10-15% sitting just above this level. The area is filled with parents who choose to "pay extra to live here" because they value education for their kids. So yes, my kids had friends who did not have all the extras we do. Yes, they had friends who go skiing every xmas and go to tropical locations for mid winter break and spring break, but they also had several friends who never did any of this. It helps keep your kids grounded in reality .

So you can choose live in a great area that also has some economic diversity. We love it! And I loved that while our kids saw kids get $fancy cars at age 16, they also saw others that never had one in HS and still others that had a used car, etc. It definately keeps them grounded, and it's a good thing

[Anonymous]

I am worried that AI will take so many jobs that it will be difficult for my kids to fully support themselves and so I am trying to save as much as I can for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I care about my kids and grandkids and want them to do whatever they want in life without worrying about money. That's bad?

There's an argument to be made that generational wealth gives some kids a really unfair advantage in life. It's not a level playing field.

To say unneccessary financial struggle builds character and resilience seems to me a totally different argument.

I'm on the side of parents giving all opportunities within their means to children.

Boys who throw a ball well also have an unfair advantage. Girls with pretty faces have an unfair advantage. That's life. We do what we can to give our kids a bit of leverage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought that generational wealth, at least in the discussion of Black families not having it, it isn't about huge multi-million dollar estates.

Rather it's about parents being able to help kids with college, or down payments or just even being there as a backstop.

Kids who go out into the world without this are in a much more precarious place than those who have it.

You are correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Why are you making your kids take out loans if your dad is offering to pay? That seems like your pride is getting in the way of your kids' best interests.

+1

If your dad can actually afford to pay, why wouldn't you allow it? Yes, State colleges are all good schools, but there are advantages of the more expensive schools (slight advantages---but the perks of only 5-8K undergrads is a real thing, if your kid wants that, why wouldn't you let them do it for free)...why would you take that away from the kids?

Their kids will be fine. People who have means think that people who don't have financial means are in a dire situation..I had student loans, I worked 2 jobs in college and wouldn't change a thing in my life. I picked the right major (engineering physics) and made the best of what I had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generational wealth is useful in elevating your descendents from the first two lowest levels in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

You take care of their physiological and safety needs, and that reduces the stressors that are an impediment in getting to the third level...which is love and belongingness. The higher levels comes to individual's own motivation. But at least your descendents can live a life that is not dictated with trying to just meet basic needs.

Thank you. Great explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

Having your grandchildren’s college tuition paid for is not what is meant by generational wealth.

The Oxford Dictionary definition is money , property, investment, etc. that can be passed from parents to children.

That may be so but that is not what’s meant as generational wealth for this DCUM discussion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because poverty sucks. I can from wealth and my wife does not. For the first time in my life I got to experience someone who was actually poor and crying while telling me how much they struggle. I still don't truly understand poverty. But I'll do everything I can do so that our kids have more than we did.

Jeez you’re not too bright are you? It’s very easy to understand poverty. Maybe visuals would help you. Watch some documentaries about families struggling.

I don’t know how people can go through life and not know people who are poor, people who are rich and middle class. It must be stifling to live in such a small box.

Okay my kids are growing up very privileged in a nice suburb. They will likely go to to a top private college. Now, you tell me, at what point are they going to actually understand poverty. Knowing is not the same as understanding.

And I'm the US we have a powerful thing call property taxes. You can pretty much shelter your life by living in exclusive neighborhoods, going to exclusive restaurants, flying business, etc. you can actually spend your entire life and not know a single person who is is dirt poor. This is not Nigeria where a billionaire may have a beggar as neighbor. This is the US. Poverty is well hidden here. So whether the trust is uncomfortable to you or not, many of us who live in these "exclusive" suburbs live in a box. Woohoo OMG Becky someone got shot where where look at Channel 9 OMG .....so ridiculous

You can meet people while working certain jobs alongside them, going to college with them, playing sports with them. A lot of the insulation you describe is due to actively trying to stay in the box to avoid poor people and only encountering them in service positions. I'd say that is actually a pretty unusual experience.

I’m a huge believer in stealth wealth. I don’t want anyone around me to know how much I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because poverty sucks. I can from wealth and my wife does not. For the first time in my life I got to experience someone who was actually poor and crying while telling me how much they struggle. I still don't truly understand poverty. But I'll do everything I can do so that our kids have more than we did.

Jeez you’re not too bright are you? It’s very easy to understand poverty. Maybe visuals would help you. Watch some documentaries about families struggling.

I don’t know how people can go through life and not know people who are poor, people who are rich and middle class. It must be stifling to live in such a small box.

Okay my kids are growing up very privileged in a nice suburb. They will likely go to to a top private college. Now, you tell me, at what point are they going to actually understand poverty. Knowing is not the same as understanding.

And I'm the US we have a powerful thing call property taxes. You can pretty much shelter your life by living in exclusive neighborhoods, going to exclusive restaurants, flying business, etc. you can actually spend your entire life and not know a single person who is is dirt poor. This is not Nigeria where a billionaire may have a beggar as neighbor. This is the US. Poverty is well hidden here. So whether the trust is uncomfortable to you or not, many of us who live in these "exclusive" suburbs live in a box. Woohoo OMG Becky someone got shot where where look at Channel 9 OMG .....so ridiculous

I’m not sure what the definition of “dirt poor” is. You’ve got your kids in a very small world that you apparently never leave. Why only exclusive restaurants with children? If your children excel at an activity they leave their neighborhood to train with the best at all income levels. Camps outside of your neighborhood will have all income levels. Private schools have a variety of income levels. Colleges have students from all kinds of backgrounds. It’s tough to go through life not knowing people from all kinds of backgrounds

We have generational wealth going back two generations and currently funded for the next two generations. Our kids have had money since they were born. We don’t go to exclusive restaurants, mostly just local places, we’ve never lived in an oversized home, we don’t buy cars that cost 100k. We’re comfortable living in a community that is middle class up to the 1%. We don't have to worry about college funds, private schools, expensive camps and vacations. We don’t have to worry about money but respectfully we don’t buy expensive showy things with money earned by past generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am thinking about this more and more with AI and the current state of the postgrad job market

+1. We work in tech and in addition to all the other great responses above this one weighs heavily on me and many of us in the industry contributing to the development of these technologies.

Absent major government intervention or other systemic change (like revolution), we are already seeing an incredible hollowing out of decent white collar jobs that parallels and could surpass what happened to manufacturing jobs in this country. The path of education + hard work leading to a decent UMC life that worked for us and our parents is increasingly outdated, and there is an underlying anxiety that if you don't already have generational wealth, the next few years could be your last opportunity to build it before the K shape economy solidifies your position and skills.

[Anonymous]

I would rather have the means to spend quality time with family while im still alive, and that may mean funding family vacations they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford on their own. Then I would have just enough left to fund my last years here. I couldn't care less what the inheritance is, and if I raised them well they arent relying on an inheritance for their own retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Why are you making your kids take out loans if your dad is offering to pay? That seems like your pride is getting in the way of your kids' best interests.

+1

If your dad can actually afford to pay, why wouldn't you allow it? Yes, State colleges are all good schools, but there are advantages of the more expensive schools (slight advantages---but the perks of only 5-8K undergrads is a real thing, if your kid wants that, why wouldn't you let them do it for free)...why would you take that away from the kids?

Their kids will be fine. People who have means think that people who don't have financial means are in a dire situation..I had student loans, I worked 2 jobs in college and wouldn't change a thing in my life. I picked the right major (engineering physics) and made the best of what I had.

College grads these days are expected to have work-relevant internships and/or impressive volunteer service on their resumes, not work-study jobs. But even if that wasn't the case, the time you spent working 2 jobs could have been spent on so many things, from the resume-enriching (e.g., another major or minor, a publication, etc) to the life-enriching (a hobby, sport, or instrument, or just rest and socializing). The money you spent paying off loans - plus interest! - could have been earning returns or buying a little investment property.

You made the best of what you had, but you are not giving your kid an opportunity to make the best of what he has, because what he has is access to money that you didn't. In purely economic terms, this is a waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Why are you making your kids take out loans if your dad is offering to pay? That seems like your pride is getting in the way of your kids' best interests.

+1

If your dad can actually afford to pay, why wouldn't you allow it? Yes, State colleges are all good schools, but there are advantages of the more expensive schools (slight advantages---but the perks of only 5-8K undergrads is a real thing, if your kid wants that, why wouldn't you let them do it for free)...why would you take that away from the kids?

Their kids will be fine. People who have means think that people who don't have financial means are in a dire situation..I had student loans, I worked 2 jobs in college and wouldn't change a thing in my life. I picked the right major (engineering physics) and made the best of what I had.

College grads these days are expected to have work-relevant internships and/or impressive volunteer service on their resumes, not work-study jobs. But even if that wasn't the case, the time you spent working 2 jobs could have been spent on so many things, from the resume-enriching (e.g., another major or minor, a publication, etc) to the life-enriching (a hobby, sport, or instrument, or just rest and socializing). The money you spent paying off loans - plus interest! - could have been earning returns or buying a little investment property.

You made the best of what you had, but you are not giving your kid an opportunity to make the best of what he has, because what he has is access to money that you didn't. In purely economic terms, this is a waste.

Says the parent of children with no grit or resilience. Good luck.