Generational wealth. What's behind the obsession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to understand the obsession behind generational wealth. If your retirement is on target, your kids college education funded and you own a home then why are you obsessively stressing over the generation beyond your kids?

I’ve built a mini-empire with my IT business and having homes in Lake Tahoe (Nevada), Wyoming, and Florida. I want my kids, their kids, and their kids’ kids to enjoy that. They say family wealth is lost within 3 generations so I need to ensure that doesn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to understand the obsession behind generational wealth. If your retirement is on target, your kids college education funded and you own a home then why are you obsessively stressing over the generation beyond your kids?

I’ve built a mini-empire with my IT business and having homes in Lake Tahoe (Nevada), Wyoming, and Florida. I want my kids, their kids, and their kids’ kids to enjoy that. They say family wealth is lost within 3 generations so I need to ensure that doesn’t happen.

Interesting those are all no state income tax locations.

[Anonymous]

We can't take it with us. We aren't stressing, but we are in a position to provide well for our DCs in their adult lives and want to do it as efficiently as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

Having your grandchildren’s college tuition paid for is not what is meant by generational wealth.

The Oxford Dictionary definition is money , property, investment, etc. that can be passed from parents to children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a lot of the argument is different meanings. Some mean being able to pay for your grandkids' college or helping your kids with a downpayment. Others mean "wealth where people are living comfortably off of estate income ... you’d need around $25 million."

The former seems reasonable to me; the latter absurd.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1174111.page

"Generational Wealth: People throw around this term a lot. What number is usually meant by it? How much we talking?"

This post on page one sums it up nicely.

[Anonymous]

I care about my kids and grandkids and want them to do whatever they want in life without worrying about money. That's bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because poverty sucks. I can from wealth and my wife does not. For the first time in my life I got to experience someone who was actually poor and crying while telling me how much they struggle. I still don't truly understand poverty. But I'll do everything I can do so that our kids have more than we did.

Jeez you’re not too bright are you? It’s very easy to understand poverty. Maybe visuals would help you. Watch some documentaries about families struggling.

I don’t know how people can go through life and not know people who are poor, people who are rich and middle class. It must be stifling to live in such a small box.

Okay my kids are growing up very privileged in a nice suburb. They will likely go to to a top private college. Now, you tell me, at what point are they going to actually understand poverty. Knowing is not the same as understanding.

And I'm the US we have a powerful thing call property taxes. You can pretty much shelter your life by living in exclusive neighborhoods, going to exclusive restaurants, flying business, etc. you can actually spend your entire life and not know a single person who is is dirt poor. This is not Nigeria where a billionaire may have a beggar as neighbor. This is the US. Poverty is well hidden here. So whether the trust is uncomfortable to you or not, many of us who live in these "exclusive" suburbs live in a box. Woohoo OMG Becky someone got shot where where look at Channel 9 OMG .....so ridiculous

You can meet people while working certain jobs alongside them, going to college with them, playing sports with them. A lot of the insulation you describe is due to actively trying to stay in the box to avoid poor people and only encountering them in service positions. I'd say that is actually a pretty unusual experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

+1

We don't obsess over it. But we have enough wealth, that it would be foolish not to ensure the grandkids (and beyond) have education funded as well as a boost to start out as an adult.
Who wouldn't want that if they can manage it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is something extraordinary about knowing your basic needs will be met regardless of your employment. The freedom to quit a job you hate or take a job you love that does not pay as much is a true gift.

+1000

Or the freedom for your kids to attend graduate school of any type and not worry about the costs or the "lost money from not working for those 2-5+ years" is nice. Or to ensure your grad student is living in nicer conditions, safer conditions and not have to worry about costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Why are you making your kids take out loans if your dad is offering to pay? That seems like your pride is getting in the way of your kids' best interests.

+1

If your dad can actually afford to pay, why wouldn't you allow it? Yes, State colleges are all good schools, but there are advantages of the more expensive schools (slight advantages---but the perks of only 5-8K undergrads is a real thing, if your kid wants that, why wouldn't you let them do it for free)...why would you take that away from the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I care about my kids and grandkids and want them to do whatever they want in life without worrying about money. That's bad?

There's an argument to be made that generational wealth gives some kids a really unfair advantage in life. It's not a level playing field.

To say unneccessary financial struggle builds character and resilience seems to me a totally different argument.

I'm on the side of parents giving all opportunities within their means to children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is something extraordinary about knowing your basic needs will be met regardless of your employment. The freedom to quit a job you hate or take a job you love that does not pay as much is a true gift.

Nah. There is purpose and honor in work, and feeling accountable/responsible. EVERYONE should have the motivation of providing for their own basic needs- food, clothing, and shelter. It is the human experience. Those who don't or are monied or coddled often become feckless, with no life purpose.

They didn't say the kid would not work. More that you have the freedom to work at a job you love, regardless of the pay/benefits/etc. I want my kids to love what they do, to have work/life balance, and that means taking a job they love that isn't a 80hr+/week job, and one that they can live a short commute from (think 15-20 mins versus 1 hour). You can still have a strong purpose in life without being a workaholic at a job you hate.

my kids know they can choose any path, and will still live a nice life. They are motivated and give 120%, but know they can choose the job that is right for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Building generational wealth is fine I guess...My neighbor is 29 and a "TikTok content creator". He is a product of "generational wealth".

I think people who are aiming for generational wealth should (and hopefully) do put some serious conditions. A relative down the line choosing to create content filming people farting because they don't have to worry about money is kind of ridiculous.

But, the point is, after you're dead you really have no control over what your relatives do with your money. If you really can't stomach someone being less productive because you provided for them, then maybe leaving your money to future generations isn't for you.

Similarly, if you want to endow a foundation or donate to a non-profit you love in order to make sure your wishes are carried out, that might be a better plan.

Actually, you can/do have control after you die. That is why you detail how the trusts can be disbursed. Hire the right trust management company

[Anonymous]

Generational wealth is useful in elevating your descendents from the first two lowest levels in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

You take care of their physiological and safety needs, and that reduces the stressors that are an impediment in getting to the third level...which is love and belongingness. The higher levels comes to individual's own motivation. But at least your descendents can live a life that is not dictated with trying to just meet basic needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because poverty sucks. I can from wealth and my wife does not. For the first time in my life I got to experience someone who was actually poor and crying while telling me how much they struggle. I still don't truly understand poverty. But I'll do everything I can do so that our kids have more than we did.

I’ll help you understand poverty. If your child has a place to live in an area where jobs are in abundance (as opposed to a rural depressed area or an inner city), it’s almost guaranteed they won’t be destitute. If they are mentally well, that’s already a huge deal and most likely they won’t be homeless.
If they have some financial literacy and college education, that’s what will carry them.
These are the factors that make one poor or not poor.

None of these things are within your control, though - your kid may not be healthy, or may suffer a life changing event that makes them unable to work. The area they live and their field of work in can become depressed for all kinds of reasons. People want their kids to be fed and housed nonetheless, because they love their kids. Money is security against poverty when life goes wrong.

Beyond that, money is the freedom to leave a crappy boss, or take a job they love that doesn't pay well, or stay home with the kids, or travel. People want more for their kids than "not destitute."

I don't understand why this is even a question.

+1

Why you wouldn't want to help (if you can easily afford to) is beyond me! I want my kids to have a great life, but also work/life balance. I want my grandkids to attend good schools, my kids/their SO to be able to work jobs they enjoy and that are a short commute from home. If one parent chooses, I want them to be a SAHP or PT or whatever they think is best for the family. I want them to explore the world (if they want) and not just take 5 day trip once a year to the local lake and stay in a cabin (unless that is all they want). So the no student loans already starts them out ahead of most. We go further and gift them the max yearly, so they are already saving in ROTH/401K and independently for a home in the future. That means they can put $300K+ down on a home and have a manageable mortgage. It means they can live a shorter commute to work, so they get to spend more time with the grandkids (their kids) and be actively involved in their schools/sports/after school activities/etc. We give to them now because it makes a 1000X difference towards their overall life versus when they are 50+ and we are dead. It means they don't have to worry about saving as much for retirement because A) they will still inherit, B) the investments from age 16-30 into ROTH/401K will put them on a path towards having $5M+ at retirement, even if they don't invest anything else, so they can do minimal investments and not stress and spend more on life "now"

If your kids work hard and are good people, I don't understand why you wouldn't want to do this for them and their families if you can?