Great colleges with fewer intense strivers

[Anonymous]

and the really sad part to the above is that the behavior is fostered and encouraged by many
of the moms and dads. Questionable parenting imo, but to each their own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hate Asians?

NP. I don’t hate Asians. However, as schools become majority Asian they those their fun. Social life is no longer filled with drinking, hooking up, dancing, tailgates, packed sports events, etc. College life is no longer a time of experimentation, wildness, exploration—it is now just school. If you don’t get why this is a bad thing, fine. Others want more for our kids.

Fully agree. And note that there are many Asians who were active participants in the less striver-y culture that used to be more prevalent. I'm not sure why it is so hard for people to understand that historically really smart kids were able to go to college, work hard, learn a lot, but also relax, have fun, socially mature, and not be obsessed with grades, how their peers were doing academically, and outwardly sucking up. It really can happen. These kids weren't lazy. They weren't dumb. They weren't unmotivated. They weren't overprivileged white folk (though there were some of these and still are).

All of the people who are obsessed with "meritocracy" and endorse the striver behavior being described throughout this thread (which unfortunately so many posters are refusing to read and digest) don't understand the point of college. It isn't just about academics and/or job hunting. It is a time of social and emotional growth. I understand that as the price rapidly increases, people have to focus more on ROI. But part of the ROI is intangible.

I wish admissions officers at top schools would revert to their prior goals and seek out very smart but well-rounded, kind, fun, down-to-earth kids who used to be very common at top schools but have now become virtually extinct - it is now a split between the super rich kids and the super academic striver kids, with nothing in between. And again, plenty of these in between kids were Asians and minorities.

Now waiting for lots of responses from people who don't understand what I'm saying and won't take 30 seconds to think about it and think I want schools full of "lazy rich white kids."

I’ve never understood the culture of relentless, often pointless grinding—or the illusion of meritocracy built on sacrificing childhood in the name of “getting ahead.” Perhaps it stems from insecurity, with some people relying on external validation to prove their worth. Truly talented people tend to invest their time naturally in what interests them, rather than being pushed to excel.

Amen. I think the initial point of this thread was to find schools that cater to families with your mentality (which I 100% agree with). This way of thinking is apparently horrifying to some people. And it is these people who I want my kids to be far away from. We live in NYC and purposely chose a high school that avoided them as much as possible and hope to do the same for college. I'm hoping my kid can actually have some joy during their four years of college. It will serve them well for the rest of life.

[Anonymous]

Grinell, Rice, Macalester, Carleton, Reed, Vassar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hate Asians?

NP. I don’t hate Asians. However, as schools become majority Asian they those their fun. Social life is no longer filled with drinking, hooking up, dancing, tailgates, packed sports events, etc. College life is no longer a time of experimentation, wildness, exploration—it is now just school. If you don’t get why this is a bad thing, fine. Others want more for our kids.

I guess CA is different. Nearly all UCs have a lot of Asians and kids have lots of fun attending, even Cal. Maybe, there’s some genetic variation between Asians on the East and West Coasts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of threads on the boards, but Carleton, William & Mary, and Rice all come up a lot, as well as others.

My DS is starting at Carleton in the fall. Our impression from touring and talking to alums we know is that the vibe is more collaborative and congenial than other schools with similarly intense academics.

Compared to who? All the lacs are basically the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of threads on the boards, but Carleton, William & Mary, and Rice all come up a lot, as well as others.

My DS is starting at Carleton in the fall. Our impression from touring and talking to alums we know is that the vibe is more collaborative and congenial than other schools with similarly intense academics.

Compared to who? All the lacs are basically the same.

yup and Carleton is the Wesleyan of the midwest - works for some but certainly not all - buyer beware

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hate Asians?

NP. I don’t hate Asians. However, as schools become majority Asian they those their fun. Social life is no longer filled with drinking, hooking up, dancing, tailgates, packed sports events, etc. College life is no longer a time of experimentation, wildness, exploration—it is now just school. If you don’t get why this is a bad thing, fine. Others want more for our kids.

I guess CA is different. Nearly all UCs have a lot of Asians and kids have lots of fun attending, even Cal. Maybe, there’s some genetic variation between Asians on the East and West Coasts.

https://stanfordhatesfun.com/
https://www.collegemagazine.com/from-a-uc-berkeley-student-welcome-to-the-stress-o-sphere/
https://tech.caltech.edu/2024/09/24/mental-health-at-caltech/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grinell, Rice, Macalester, Carleton, Reed, Vassar

Does striver not include those hellbent on grad school? Reed is particularly stressful and competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hate Asians?

NP. I don’t hate Asians. However, as schools become majority Asian they those their fun. Social life is no longer filled with drinking, hooking up, dancing, tailgates, packed sports events, etc. College life is no longer a time of experimentation, wildness, exploration—it is now just school. If you don’t get why this is a bad thing, fine. Others want more for our kids.

I guess CA is different. Nearly all UCs have a lot of Asians and kids have lots of fun attending, even Cal. Maybe, there’s some genetic variation between Asians on the East and West Coasts.

When my son visited two friends from the Bay Area, they drove past one friend’s high school (Lynbrook, I think). Both of them remarked, “I hate this school.” My son was perplexed—he had been told the place was hell. Those friends stated they deliberately chose colleges on the East Coast to be away from Bay Area.

[Anonymous]

Ironically, one of the best examples of a striver in media is not Asian at all - Reese Witherspoon's character in Election. Check it out and you will get the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hate Asians?

NP. I don’t hate Asians. However, as schools become majority Asian they those their fun. Social life is no longer filled with drinking, hooking up, dancing, tailgates, packed sports events, etc. College life is no longer a time of experimentation, wildness, exploration—it is now just school. If you don’t get why this is a bad thing, fine. Others want more for our kids.

Kids will find other kids who share their interests wherever they go.

In a school of 5000+ kids, having fewer kids regularly getting drunk and hooking up does not mean there isn’t plenty of opportunity for those who do.

Moderation and mixing of personalities is a good thing.

That said, if you want your kid going out drinking and partying more than 2x a week along with 5,000+ drunk peers, there are plenty of schools that offer that.

As a Duke grad, I’m ok that kegs are no longer available 6 nights a week at various fraternity sections. We tended to go out 2x a week, max, and it was plenty. We had plenty of other opportunities to socialize, drink, dance, and hook up. (If you think the only way that happens now is out in some remote field at off campus fraternity parties, you’re crazy. Kids are kids.)

If you think the current kids at Duke are going out 2xs a partying I have a bridge to sell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grinell, Rice, Macalester, Carleton, Reed, Vassar

Does striver not include those hellbent on grad school? Reed is particularly stressful and competitive.

That’s OK. They aren’t Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ironically, one of the best examples of a striver in media is not Asian at all - Reese Witherspoon's character in Election. Check it out and you will get the point.

Any post using race is spreading propaganda, period.

In reality no one likes "strivers", "conformists" and "copy cats".

[Anonymous]

Very simple well rounded smart kids tend to go to schools with good sports school not nerdy schools. Duke, ND, Vandy, snd Dartmouth would be top ranked of fun schools. Next would Williams, Bowdoin, Colby, Colgate and Holy Cross in that order of academic selectivity. Nerdy schools Amherst, Wesleyan, Carleton, Vassar, Bates, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very simple well rounded smart kids tend to go to schools with good sports school not nerdy schools. Duke, ND, Vandy, snd Dartmouth would be top ranked of fun schools. Next would Williams, Bowdoin, Colby, Colgate and Holy Cross in that order of academic selectivity. Nerdy schools Amherst, Wesleyan, Carleton, Vassar, Bates, etc.

I guess your definition of “well rounded smart kids” is different from mine. What I see from DD’s school is that not-particularly-smart kids with rich (donor) parents go to the first group of schools.

As an aside, if you consider Amherst to be nerdy, you really have no idea what you are talking about!