Will RTO be relaxed ever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

Sounds like my job. You just get used to it. I can’t quit and the rent closer to my job is outrageously expensive. That’s life. I’m just happy to have a job.

[Anonymous]

I hope everyone had a great day in the office. I noticed the hiking trails and my yoga class were not as full as they have been lately. Bisous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

You are the fool for choosing to live 1.5 hours from your work. You could have moved while the rates were low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

You are the fool for choosing to live 1.5 hours from your work. You could have moved while the rates were low.

Just stop trolling. No one is moving their family for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

DP. My commute is also an hour each way and it’s not an acceptable way to live. No way will I keep doing it long term if I can’t find something else.

[Anonymous]

^ if I *can* find something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

IME basically no families with young kids have 2 parents working out of the home 5 days per week, especially with long commutes.

DH and I have both prioritized telework/flexible hours over chasing promotions. We have both been teleworking in some capacity since Obama 1.0 to make family life work.

Essentially everyone else I know is in this scenario of having at least one parent WAH, or they have one (or more) of the following: a SAH or part time working parent, local family help, or gobs of money to hire nannies/outsource. Or in the case of a teacher friend, she handles all school breaks / random days off and her husband takes the unexpected sick kid days off.

But you basically have to have some sort of adult on standby (either a parent, family member, or paid caregiver) while kids are young. I remember my kids’ preschool made us sign a contract that we could pickup within 1 hour if a kid got sick. No way we could do that while commuting over an hour each way.

And yeah, I do think someone who is commuting 3 hours per day, 5 days per week is going to have less energy to give to their kids. Zombie is an extreme word, but yeah, that lifestyle sounds draining unless it comes with a boatload of money to make other things easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

You are the fool for choosing to live 1.5 hours from your work. You could have moved while the rates were low.

It’s not that easy to move and many jobs only last a few years. My spouse works for a company that regularly fires and lays off so if we moved, we’d have to move again as our location gives more access to different jobs. You take a huge hit buying, selling and moving. Also, for us we have kids in competitive sports and arts and if we moved we’d have to commute back as there is nothing similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

IME basically no families with young kids have 2 parents working out of the home 5 days per week, especially with long commutes.

DH and I have both prioritized telework/flexible hours over chasing promotions. We have both been teleworking in some capacity since Obama 1.0 to make family life work.

Essentially everyone else I know is in this scenario of having at least one parent WAH, or they have one (or more) of the following: a SAH or part time working parent, local family help, or gobs of money to hire nannies/outsource. Or in the case of a teacher friend, she handles all school breaks / random days off and her husband takes the unexpected sick kid days off.

But you basically have to have some sort of adult on standby (either a parent, family member, or paid caregiver) while kids are young. I remember my kids’ preschool made us sign a contract that we could pickup within 1 hour if a kid got sick. No way we could do that while commuting over an hour each way.

And yeah, I do think someone who is commuting 3 hours per day, 5 days per week is going to have less energy to give to their kids. Zombie is an extreme word, but yeah, that lifestyle sounds draining unless it comes with a boatload of money to make other things easier.

My spouse took a job remote long before Covid and was recalled this year. It’s very hard but you cannot refuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

3+ hours a day commuting on the beltway on top of spending the day in a hostile environment where they are purposely making us as miserable as possible in order to get us to quit. This is not normal or average and I am not overreacting.

And before you tell me that I shouldn’t have moved too far away from work well guess what I have lived in the same house since 2016. My agency moved, which was no big deal until this all happened. I live just inside of 50 mile radius.

You are the fool for choosing to live 1.5 hours from your work. You could have moved while the rates were low.

Just stop trolling. No one is moving their family for this.

It's pretty risky to just up and move for a fed job these days. Our office had a couple fully remote colleagues relocate to DC on their own dime after remote work was ended. The unfortunate thing is right after surviving agency RIFs, we were then told a significant portion of our workload is going to shift to other offices outside of DC...Hopefully they didn't sign a 2 year lease or anything.

[Anonymous]

WFH is a scam and I’m glad it is going out of style. Slackers need to get back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope time for you lazy feds to get back to work.

This is why you don’t want boomers in charge, literally going backwards. They can’t fathom people working remotely.

Once they all retire, move on, as long as we don’t keep electing the elderly, things will go back to normal, common sense wins out typically.

It was proven you all weren't "working" from home. Sorry you need a baby sitter. Maybe if you dislike your job so much look for a new one or start your own business that lets you "work from home" or even retire. Personally, I married well and have not worked in 20 some years.

Good morning. You still haven’t shared the proof you mentioned. Should we be concerned? Please share it ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

IME basically no families with young kids have 2 parents working out of the home 5 days per week, especially with long commutes.

DH and I have both prioritized telework/flexible hours over chasing promotions. We have both been teleworking in some capacity since Obama 1.0 to make family life work.

Essentially everyone else I know is in this scenario of having at least one parent WAH, or they have one (or more) of the following: a SAH or part time working parent, local family help, or gobs of money to hire nannies/outsource. Or in the case of a teacher friend, she handles all school breaks / random days off and her husband takes the unexpected sick kid days off.

But you basically have to have some sort of adult on standby (either a parent, family member, or paid caregiver) while kids are young. I remember my kids’ preschool made us sign a contract that we could pickup within 1 hour if a kid got sick. No way we could do that while commuting over an hour each way.

And yeah, I do think someone who is commuting 3 hours per day, 5 days per week is going to have less energy to give to their kids. Zombie is an extreme word, but yeah, that lifestyle sounds draining unless it comes with a boatload of money to make other things easier.

Prior to 15 yrs ago, very few people worked remotely. Maybe your memory is short. There are also many jobs that cannot be done remotely. My kids are in college now but when they were little, everyone in my neighborhood commuted to work every day. That was the norm. If a kid got sick, me or my DH got in the car and picked them up. Ditto for everyone else. Very few families had SAHPs. It wasn’t financially feasible.

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Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.

It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.

So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.

I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.

You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.

Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.

I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.

Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.

You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.

My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.

So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.

IME basically no families with young kids have 2 parents working out of the home 5 days per week, especially with long commutes.

DH and I have both prioritized telework/flexible hours over chasing promotions. We have both been teleworking in some capacity since Obama 1.0 to make family life work.

Essentially everyone else I know is in this scenario of having at least one parent WAH, or they have one (or more) of the following: a SAH or part time working parent, local family help, or gobs of money to hire nannies/outsource. Or in the case of a teacher friend, she handles all school breaks / random days off and her husband takes the unexpected sick kid days off.

But you basically have to have some sort of adult on standby (either a parent, family member, or paid caregiver) while kids are young. I remember my kids’ preschool made us sign a contract that we could pickup within 1 hour if a kid got sick. No way we could do that while commuting over an hour each way.

And yeah, I do think someone who is commuting 3 hours per day, 5 days per week is going to have less energy to give to their kids. Zombie is an extreme word, but yeah, that lifestyle sounds draining unless it comes with a boatload of money to make other things easier.

Prior to 15 yrs ago, very few people worked remotely. Maybe your memory is short. There are also many jobs that cannot be done remotely. My kids are in college now but when they were little, everyone in my neighborhood commuted to work every day. That was the norm. If a kid got sick, me or my DH got in the car and picked them up. Ditto for everyone else. Very few families had SAHPs. It wasn’t financially feasible.

Really depends on industry. Stop trying to re-write history. In 2000/2001 (more than 15 years ago) we were pushing code, remoting into servers, remember thin clients and dummy terminals? Anything that you didn't need to stand at the computer physically for, you could do on your laptop (and they were heavy, heavy bricks! Remember?). So remote has been a thing for a very long time and technical tools to support it have expanded exponentially.