For those 45+, how good were the 1990s, actually?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, did no one remember that Matthew Sheppard was murder in 1998? So much for care free times in the 90s being gay.

Gay guy again. The Matthew Shephard murder is a bit more complicated than a zealous hunt to kill gays. And one murder doesn't equivalent a nationwide persecution, correct? I was singing in gay choruses in midwestern cities the year Matthew Shephard was killed. If you could show a pattern, it'd be something, but you can't because there really isn't. One man died in a country of 275 million people. Oh well. I'll repeat what I said, the 1990s were not a benighted dark ages. It wasn't as open as today's world and absolutely there were still homophobia and a great deal of it was within families struggling to accept homosexual children and I know of sad cases. But that is not persecution.

Thank you. The Shephard case is awful, but is definitely more complicated than hate and bigotry. A "drug deal gone bad" might oversimplify it, too, but the way people throw his case around as evidence of anti-gay bigotry is irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

Mid 60’s here. Graduated from HS in 1978 so lived through both the 80s and the 90s as a lesbian. Here’s my take. The music and the clubs were like nothing that exists today. We had Black Sabbath, Queen, MeatLoaf, . . . Gay clubs in virtually any larger city were so full of energy and life. I don’t know that any generation will ever experience the wonder that was ours every single day if we weren’t too afraid to go.

But, gay clubs were hidden and you had to be afraid to go in. They were in undesirable (dangerous) neighborhoods, so safety was a concern. And, if you were seen entering, you risked your livelihood - losing your job and your housing, particularly in the early era of AIDS. Men got paid more than women just because they were men. Getting married wasn’t even a dream and if you lived with a partner, you set up a separate bedroom so you could pretend you weren’t together since that was vital for your safety and financial security.

And, finding people like yourself was like finding an underground community. You got publications like Lesbian Connections delivered in brown paper so no one would know what it was and the second it was delivered, you devoured it because you were so desperate for connections. That’s how you found out about things like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

I am white so I only observed the treatment of those who weren’t. But non white people were forced into their own communities. If they dared to buy a house in a white area, they had to worry about their kids being beaten up at the bus stop. Our parents didn’t allow us to play with non white kids or bring them around our house ever. There were segregated pools and grocery stores where the “colored” shopped. We were taught to be afraid of them.

And, once you hit a certain age, somewhere between 16 and 18, you were expected to move out and take care of yourself. Parents weren’t financing their kids’ college or their kids’ lives after HS graduation. We all pounded the pavement for jobs by the time were were 14 because our parents weren’t giving us money, but back then, 10 year olds could babysit your kids and parents went out often so there was that.

Oh, and don’t forget that women couldn’t get credit cards until the 1980s, couldn’t sign contracts, had difficulty renting apartments, etc. So, you were stuck in bad and abusive marriages. I remember when my friend’s parents divorced, my dad had to find her mom an apartment because women couldn’t apply or advertise for an apartment (back then, you advertised that you needed one, landlords didn’t advertise that they had availability).

So, do I miss the music and the clubs? Definitely yes. It was a gazillion times better than today. But, life today is so much better. As a society, we treat people the same regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender . . . I could finally get married and by the time it was legal in DC, we had been together almost two decades with kids, dogs and a house. Yes, school is more expensive for my kids than it was for me, but as a society, we generally help our kids whereas that wasn’t the case when I went to college. And, we all have health insurance without ridiculous conditions and high deductibles. HMOs and PPOs are amazing and people don’t even get what a huge change that is. And, while people criticize insurance companies, if you lived through the 80s and 90s, you’d understand how it was borne out of over treatment. Before conditions were set, people would stay in the hospital for weeks for a minor surgery and months or years for mental health issues.

And while the internet has its downsides, it sure does make finding people, travel, jobs, and everything else so much easier. Even social media has its upsides, like being able to stay in touch with family and watching them grow up when you live far away.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now I’m going to go put on some hard rock while I go about the rest of my morning.

I graduated from high school in 1985, so I'm a few years younger than you. But I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs, because what I bolded was not my experience at all. Maybe location played a role? I graduated from high school in Nashville. My first boss (1983, high school job) was openly gay. I went to gay clubs and bars with friends all through my college years (also in Nashville) and all of my friends were out. I'm sorry you hard that part of the experience. You're spot on about the music and dance scene. Nashville had (probably still does) an amazing music scene totally unrelated to country.

Who are you to tell another poster who is seven years older than you and openly gay that you know more about their experience than they themselves do? One thing is very clear: gay rights and gay acceptance proceeded at an exponential rate over the last several decades, and it is entirely possible — likely, in fact — that there was a huge difference in experiences from the beginning of a seven year period to the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

Mid 60’s here. Graduated from HS in 1978 so lived through both the 80s and the 90s as a lesbian. Here’s my take. The music and the clubs were like nothing that exists today. We had Black Sabbath, Queen, MeatLoaf, . . . Gay clubs in virtually any larger city were so full of energy and life. I don’t know that any generation will ever experience the wonder that was ours every single day if we weren’t too afraid to go.

But, gay clubs were hidden and you had to be afraid to go in. They were in undesirable (dangerous) neighborhoods, so safety was a concern. And, if you were seen entering, you risked your livelihood - losing your job and your housing, particularly in the early era of AIDS. Men got paid more than women just because they were men. Getting married wasn’t even a dream and if you lived with a partner, you set up a separate bedroom so you could pretend you weren’t together since that was vital for your safety and financial security.

And, finding people like yourself was like finding an underground community. You got publications like Lesbian Connections delivered in brown paper so no one would know what it was and the second it was delivered, you devoured it because you were so desperate for connections. That’s how you found out about things like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

I am white so I only observed the treatment of those who weren’t. But non white people were forced into their own communities. If they dared to buy a house in a white area, they had to worry about their kids being beaten up at the bus stop. Our parents didn’t allow us to play with non white kids or bring them around our house ever. There were segregated pools and grocery stores where the “colored” shopped. We were taught to be afraid of them.

And, once you hit a certain age, somewhere between 16 and 18, you were expected to move out and take care of yourself. Parents weren’t financing their kids’ college or their kids’ lives after HS graduation. We all pounded the pavement for jobs by the time were were 14 because our parents weren’t giving us money, but back then, 10 year olds could babysit your kids and parents went out often so there was that.

Oh, and don’t forget that women couldn’t get credit cards until the 1980s, couldn’t sign contracts, had difficulty renting apartments, etc. So, you were stuck in bad and abusive marriages. I remember when my friend’s parents divorced, my dad had to find her mom an apartment because women couldn’t apply or advertise for an apartment (back then, you advertised that you needed one, landlords didn’t advertise that they had availability).

So, do I miss the music and the clubs? Definitely yes. It was a gazillion times better than today. But, life today is so much better. As a society, we treat people the same regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender . . . I could finally get married and by the time it was legal in DC, we had been together almost two decades with kids, dogs and a house. Yes, school is more expensive for my kids than it was for me, but as a society, we generally help our kids whereas that wasn’t the case when I went to college. And, we all have health insurance without ridiculous conditions and high deductibles. HMOs and PPOs are amazing and people don’t even get what a huge change that is. And, while people criticize insurance companies, if you lived through the 80s and 90s, you’d understand how it was borne out of over treatment. Before conditions were set, people would stay in the hospital for weeks for a minor surgery and months or years for mental health issues.

And while the internet has its downsides, it sure does make finding people, travel, jobs, and everything else so much easier. Even social media has its upsides, like being able to stay in touch with family and watching them grow up when you live far away.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now I’m going to go put on some hard rock while I go about the rest of my morning.

I graduated from high school in 1985, so I'm a few years younger than you. But I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs, because what I bolded was not my experience at all. Maybe location played a role? I graduated from high school in Nashville. My first boss (1983, high school job) was openly gay. I went to gay clubs and bars with friends all through my college years (also in Nashville) and all of my friends were out. I'm sorry you hard that part of the experience. You're spot on about the music and dance scene. Nashville had (probably still does) an amazing music scene totally unrelated to country.

Who are you to tell another poster who is seven years older than you and openly gay that you know more about their experience than they themselves do? One thing is very clear: gay rights and gay acceptance proceeded at an exponential rate over the last several decades, and it is entirely possible — likely, in fact — that there was a huge difference in experiences from the beginning of a seven year period to the end.

Where exactly did I say I know more about their experience? I shared MY experience. And I basically said that location might have played a role since it seems unlikely that a seven years would have. No idea why you're so triggered. JFC. Weird the assumptions you're making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

Mid 60’s here. Graduated from HS in 1978 so lived through both the 80s and the 90s as a lesbian. Here’s my take. The music and the clubs were like nothing that exists today. We had Black Sabbath, Queen, MeatLoaf, . . . Gay clubs in virtually any larger city were so full of energy and life. I don’t know that any generation will ever experience the wonder that was ours every single day if we weren’t too afraid to go.

But, gay clubs were hidden and you had to be afraid to go in. They were in undesirable (dangerous) neighborhoods, so safety was a concern. And, if you were seen entering, you risked your livelihood - losing your job and your housing, particularly in the early era of AIDS. Men got paid more than women just because they were men. Getting married wasn’t even a dream and if you lived with a partner, you set up a separate bedroom so you could pretend you weren’t together since that was vital for your safety and financial security.

And, finding people like yourself was like finding an underground community. You got publications like Lesbian Connections delivered in brown paper so no one would know what it was and the second it was delivered, you devoured it because you were so desperate for connections. That’s how you found out about things like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

I am white so I only observed the treatment of those who weren’t. But non white people were forced into their own communities. If they dared to buy a house in a white area, they had to worry about their kids being beaten up at the bus stop. Our parents didn’t allow us to play with non white kids or bring them around our house ever. There were segregated pools and grocery stores where the “colored” shopped. We were taught to be afraid of them.

And, once you hit a certain age, somewhere between 16 and 18, you were expected to move out and take care of yourself. Parents weren’t financing their kids’ college or their kids’ lives after HS graduation. We all pounded the pavement for jobs by the time were were 14 because our parents weren’t giving us money, but back then, 10 year olds could babysit your kids and parents went out often so there was that.

Oh, and don’t forget that women couldn’t get credit cards until the 1980s, couldn’t sign contracts, had difficulty renting apartments, etc. So, you were stuck in bad and abusive marriages. I remember when my friend’s parents divorced, my dad had to find her mom an apartment because women couldn’t apply or advertise for an apartment (back then, you advertised that you needed one, landlords didn’t advertise that they had availability).

So, do I miss the music and the clubs? Definitely yes. It was a gazillion times better than today. But, life today is so much better. As a society, we treat people the same regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender . . . I could finally get married and by the time it was legal in DC, we had been together almost two decades with kids, dogs and a house. Yes, school is more expensive for my kids than it was for me, but as a society, we generally help our kids whereas that wasn’t the case when I went to college. And, we all have health insurance without ridiculous conditions and high deductibles. HMOs and PPOs are amazing and people don’t even get what a huge change that is. And, while people criticize insurance companies, if you lived through the 80s and 90s, you’d understand how it was borne out of over treatment. Before conditions were set, people would stay in the hospital for weeks for a minor surgery and months or years for mental health issues.

And while the internet has its downsides, it sure does make finding people, travel, jobs, and everything else so much easier. Even social media has its upsides, like being able to stay in touch with family and watching them grow up when you live far away.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now I’m going to go put on some hard rock while I go about the rest of my morning.

I graduated from high school in 1985, so I'm a few years younger than you. But I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs, because what I bolded was not my experience at all. Maybe location played a role? I graduated from high school in Nashville. My first boss (1983, high school job) was openly gay. I went to gay clubs and bars with friends all through my college years (also in Nashville) and all of my friends were out. I'm sorry you hard that part of the experience. You're spot on about the music and dance scene. Nashville had (probably still does) an amazing music scene totally unrelated to country.

Who are you to tell another poster who is seven years older than you and openly gay that you know more about their experience than they themselves do? One thing is very clear: gay rights and gay acceptance proceeded at an exponential rate over the last several decades, and it is entirely possible — likely, in fact — that there was a huge difference in experiences from the beginning of a seven year period to the end.

Seems more likely that both posters were going to gay bars at the same time but at different ages. Since the older PP didn't mention where, who knows. You seem to have some reading comprehension and logic issues though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

It would be pretty irresponsible to say they were persecuted in the 1990s. Persecution is different than discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

Mid 60’s here. Graduated from HS in 1978 so lived through both the 80s and the 90s as a lesbian. Here’s my take. The music and the clubs were like nothing that exists today. We had Black Sabbath, Queen, MeatLoaf, . . . Gay clubs in virtually any larger city were so full of energy and life. I don’t know that any generation will ever experience the wonder that was ours every single day if we weren’t too afraid to go.

But, gay clubs were hidden and you had to be afraid to go in. They were in undesirable (dangerous) neighborhoods, so safety was a concern. And, if you were seen entering, you risked your livelihood - losing your job and your housing, particularly in the early era of AIDS. Men got paid more than women just because they were men. Getting married wasn’t even a dream and if you lived with a partner, you set up a separate bedroom so you could pretend you weren’t together since that was vital for your safety and financial security.

And, finding people like yourself was like finding an underground community. You got publications like Lesbian Connections delivered in brown paper so no one would know what it was and the second it was delivered, you devoured it because you were so desperate for connections. That’s how you found out about things like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

I am white so I only observed the treatment of those who weren’t. But non white people were forced into their own communities. If they dared to buy a house in a white area, they had to worry about their kids being beaten up at the bus stop. Our parents didn’t allow us to play with non white kids or bring them around our house ever. There were segregated pools and grocery stores where the “colored” shopped. We were taught to be afraid of them.

And, once you hit a certain age, somewhere between 16 and 18, you were expected to move out and take care of yourself. Parents weren’t financing their kids’ college or their kids’ lives after HS graduation. We all pounded the pavement for jobs by the time were were 14 because our parents weren’t giving us money, but back then, 10 year olds could babysit your kids and parents went out often so there was that.

Oh, and don’t forget that women couldn’t get credit cards until the 1980s, couldn’t sign contracts, had difficulty renting apartments, etc. So, you were stuck in bad and abusive marriages. I remember when my friend’s parents divorced, my dad had to find her mom an apartment because women couldn’t apply or advertise for an apartment (back then, you advertised that you needed one, landlords didn’t advertise that they had availability).

So, do I miss the music and the clubs? Definitely yes. It was a gazillion times better than today. But, life today is so much better. As a society, we treat people the same regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender . . . I could finally get married and by the time it was legal in DC, we had been together almost two decades with kids, dogs and a house. Yes, school is more expensive for my kids than it was for me, but as a society, we generally help our kids whereas that wasn’t the case when I went to college. And, we all have health insurance without ridiculous conditions and high deductibles. HMOs and PPOs are amazing and people don’t even get what a huge change that is. And, while people criticize insurance companies, if you lived through the 80s and 90s, you’d understand how it was borne out of over treatment. Before conditions were set, people would stay in the hospital for weeks for a minor surgery and months or years for mental health issues.

And while the internet has its downsides, it sure does make finding people, travel, jobs, and everything else so much easier. Even social media has its upsides, like being able to stay in touch with family and watching them grow up when you live far away.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now I’m going to go put on some hard rock while I go about the rest of my morning.

I graduated from high school in 1985, so I'm a few years younger than you. But I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs, because what I bolded was not my experience at all. Maybe location played a role? I graduated from high school in Nashville. My first boss (1983, high school job) was openly gay. I went to gay clubs and bars with friends all through my college years (also in Nashville) and all of my friends were out. I'm sorry you hard that part of the experience. You're spot on about the music and dance scene. Nashville had (probably still does) an amazing music scene totally unrelated to country.

Who are you to tell another poster who is seven years older than you and openly gay that you know more about their experience than they themselves do? One thing is very clear: gay rights and gay acceptance proceeded at an exponential rate over the last several decades, and it is entirely possible — likely, in fact — that there was a huge difference in experiences from the beginning of a seven year period to the end.

Where exactly did I say I know more about their experience? I shared MY experience. And I basically said that location might have played a role since it seems unlikely that a seven years would have. No idea why you're so triggered. JFC. Weird the assumptions you're making.

You said, and this is a quote:

“I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to keep in mind that in the 1990s the white middle class suburban demographics was the majority, if not by far the biggest single demographic cohort in the country. If you want to take the stance that if you were white and middle class then you only have an biased perspective of life in the 1990s, you're ignoring how the majority actually experienced the 90s, which means you're risking seeking out a minority and biased perspective of the decade. And contrary to what some youngsters like to believe, gays and minorities weren't persecuted, you'd have to go back much earlier.

That aside, there were huge ranges in how people "experienced" the decade as well as variations within the decade itself, from the brief 1991-2 recession to the boom of the end of the decade (which incidentally set up the framework for the great recession in the long run). I remember plenty of uncertainty and fears about everything, which is utterly typical for every decade and every generation. Some things feel better about the 90s, especially the pre social media era. There's been a great deal of cultural changes in larger society, some for the better, some that are neutral, and some that simply means a different kind of future than previously assumed. I actually think Europe actually is having a much harder time with this than the US.

I will say technology improvements, for all its benefits, has sped up the pace of how things are done and lived these days compared to the 1990s, which did move at a fast pace of its own. It seems like the more technology we have, the faster we have to live our lives. The pace is breathtaking nowadays and the ability to step out of it to a slower lifestyle seems impossible, at least without significant economic implications.

It is pretty sweeping to say gays and minorities weren't persecuted.

Just because you didn't experience it personally, does not mean it is not true.

Yes many people had the good life in the 1990s but there was still discrimination.

Mid 60’s here. Graduated from HS in 1978 so lived through both the 80s and the 90s as a lesbian. Here’s my take. The music and the clubs were like nothing that exists today. We had Black Sabbath, Queen, MeatLoaf, . . . Gay clubs in virtually any larger city were so full of energy and life. I don’t know that any generation will ever experience the wonder that was ours every single day if we weren’t too afraid to go.

But, gay clubs were hidden and you had to be afraid to go in. They were in undesirable (dangerous) neighborhoods, so safety was a concern. And, if you were seen entering, you risked your livelihood - losing your job and your housing, particularly in the early era of AIDS. Men got paid more than women just because they were men. Getting married wasn’t even a dream and if you lived with a partner, you set up a separate bedroom so you could pretend you weren’t together since that was vital for your safety and financial security.

And, finding people like yourself was like finding an underground community. You got publications like Lesbian Connections delivered in brown paper so no one would know what it was and the second it was delivered, you devoured it because you were so desperate for connections. That’s how you found out about things like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

I am white so I only observed the treatment of those who weren’t. But non white people were forced into their own communities. If they dared to buy a house in a white area, they had to worry about their kids being beaten up at the bus stop. Our parents didn’t allow us to play with non white kids or bring them around our house ever. There were segregated pools and grocery stores where the “colored” shopped. We were taught to be afraid of them.

And, once you hit a certain age, somewhere between 16 and 18, you were expected to move out and take care of yourself. Parents weren’t financing their kids’ college or their kids’ lives after HS graduation. We all pounded the pavement for jobs by the time were were 14 because our parents weren’t giving us money, but back then, 10 year olds could babysit your kids and parents went out often so there was that.

Oh, and don’t forget that women couldn’t get credit cards until the 1980s, couldn’t sign contracts, had difficulty renting apartments, etc. So, you were stuck in bad and abusive marriages. I remember when my friend’s parents divorced, my dad had to find her mom an apartment because women couldn’t apply or advertise for an apartment (back then, you advertised that you needed one, landlords didn’t advertise that they had availability).

So, do I miss the music and the clubs? Definitely yes. It was a gazillion times better than today. But, life today is so much better. As a society, we treat people the same regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender . . . I could finally get married and by the time it was legal in DC, we had been together almost two decades with kids, dogs and a house. Yes, school is more expensive for my kids than it was for me, but as a society, we generally help our kids whereas that wasn’t the case when I went to college. And, we all have health insurance without ridiculous conditions and high deductibles. HMOs and PPOs are amazing and people don’t even get what a huge change that is. And, while people criticize insurance companies, if you lived through the 80s and 90s, you’d understand how it was borne out of over treatment. Before conditions were set, people would stay in the hospital for weeks for a minor surgery and months or years for mental health issues.

And while the internet has its downsides, it sure does make finding people, travel, jobs, and everything else so much easier. Even social media has its upsides, like being able to stay in touch with family and watching them grow up when you live far away.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now I’m going to go put on some hard rock while I go about the rest of my morning.

I graduated from high school in 1985, so I'm a few years younger than you. But I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs, because what I bolded was not my experience at all. Maybe location played a role? I graduated from high school in Nashville. My first boss (1983, high school job) was openly gay. I went to gay clubs and bars with friends all through my college years (also in Nashville) and all of my friends were out. I'm sorry you hard that part of the experience. You're spot on about the music and dance scene. Nashville had (probably still does) an amazing music scene totally unrelated to country.

Who are you to tell another poster who is seven years older than you and openly gay that you know more about their experience than they themselves do? One thing is very clear: gay rights and gay acceptance proceeded at an exponential rate over the last several decades, and it is entirely possible — likely, in fact — that there was a huge difference in experiences from the beginning of a seven year period to the end.

Seems more likely that both posters were going to gay bars at the same time but at different ages. Since the older PP didn't mention where, who knows. You seem to have some reading comprehension and logic issues though.

Again, “I have a hard time believing that things changed so drastically in only 7 yrs”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, did no one remember that Matthew Sheppard was murder in 1998? So much for care free times in the 90s being gay.

This story has been debunked, but lives on because of high school drama and English teachers.

[Anonymous]

I was born in 73, graduated HS in Alexandria in 91 and college in 95

Came back to DC in 97 after screwing around out west and got an entry job at a non profit making 26,500. My then gf (now wife) had a job at GW that paid 37,000. Allowed us to buy a SFH in Del Ray in 99 for 180k. We went out for dinner and drinks 3 or 4 times a week. I still remember that a 1/4 chicken white with salad and plantains at Pollo Rico was $4.75

Granted, a lot of my friends bartended at the usual spots so we drank for free. But life was soooo much cheaper. And easier.

I weep for my children. No idea how they will make ends meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and one of the best tv shows ever made - northern exposure.
People actually talked about change and progress and helping each other.

You can buy the entire series from a guy in Canada. That was my favorite show ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking specifically X-ennials, Gen X, and Boomers, who were wage-earning, taxpaying adults during the 1990s - so no rose-colored childhood glasses. I'm also specifically asking those who grew up in the United States, I wouldn't ask people who grew up in Rwanda or Bosnia or Chechnya this question.

Were the 90s actually better, economically, culturally, technologically (as in we had the right amount of technology - not too much?) Were things actually better then, or is it really only a matter of millennials thinking their childhood was the good old days. Also, a possible counterpoint is that we have progressed since then on LGBTQ and racial issues, for the most part, so the 90s nostalgia might be very concentrated among white, middle class, suburban millennials. What I think I'm really getting at besides the whole "is nostalgia real" question is, was it actually easier back then to work a steady job and afford things, and were we healthier as a society before smartphones and AI.

Bonus points if you are old enough to vouch for the 80s as well.

I am Gen x and in my 20's in the 90's. No Trump presidency so that makes the 90's better but, honestly I can't answer since want to hear from people who were '45 or older...lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The feeling of DC was so different before the Oklahoma City bombing. You could come and go in the Capitol, Pennsylvania Avenue was still open, 4th of July on the Mall was lit - no security perimeters and no feeling of fear.

Same with DCA - you could get there with minutes to spare and catch the Delta Shuttle to NYC. I pushed my way to the front of a rope line and was able to shake Clinton's hand.

The old taxi system was plentiful and if you knew the zones, you could get across town for $10. A night out at the bars would set you back $30 if you were being extra-fancy. Some bars had free food at happy hour.

We brought a keg of beer in the trunk of my buddy's Jetta to Gravely Point every fourth for like 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, did no one remember that Matthew Sheppard was murder in 1998? So much for care free times in the 90s being gay.

And a thousand other people were murdered that year. Being gay isn't special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one mentioned the eating disorders and the absolute chokehold fat free foods had on us. Kate Moss and Snackwells.

ehh --sticking to the outside aisles of the grocery store was always a thing, and there was more recognition that overeating isn't healthy.

eating disorders are mental health first and foremost.

Born in 1973 and I never had any of that crap. We ate real foods, a whole bunch of it grown and canned by my Grandmother who lived on a 25 acre piece of land outside of Lynchburg. I would kill for a jar of her green beans right now. Succotash, stewed tomatoes, corn, all kinds of pickles, asparagus, chow chow, everything but okra because my mom hated it.

Every trip down there had us bringing her a dozen empty jars and going home with a dozen full jars.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely loved the 1990s.

I think this is part of it: I had a computer and email at work. I had neither at home. I didn't even have a cell phone until I think 2001. Maybe 2000?

So, I went to work and worked hard, then NEVER HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT until the next morning. I explored my city, made friends, went out a lot, just had a great time. It would have been very different if I'd either been working all hours via cell phone, or rotting on the couch looking at a phone.