Intellectual peers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school. Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school. I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company. Cream will always rise to the top. If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern. You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up. My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now. The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be. I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success. He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12. I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did. I don't worry about their peers dragging them down. They know the success if for themselves. They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school. They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me. My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A. The younger one is literally motivated by the grade. I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.

Agree with you that it has to be self-motivated and not parent directed, but interesting you chose private K-12. Cream does rise to the crop everywhere, agree, but can raise even higher when a self-motivated is surrounded by other motivated students everywhere and not just in a couple honors classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school. Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school. I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company. Cream will always rise to the top. If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern. You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up. My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now. The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be. I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success. He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12. I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did. I don't worry about their peers dragging them down. They know the success if for themselves. They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school. They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me. My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A. The younger one is literally motivated by the grade. I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.

Agree with you that it has to be self-motivated and not parent directed, but interesting you chose private K-12. Cream does rise to the crop everywhere, agree, but can raise even higher when a self-motivated is surrounded by other motivated students everywhere and not just in a couple honors classes.

The problem with this line is that it only describes a certain situation, where a kid gets into, say, a T20 but goes to some school ranked in the 80s instead for whatever reason. This happens, but more often it’s a kid with a T10 profile looking at schools in the top 30, or a T20 profile considering some schools in the top 40 or 50. In those situations the gap simply isn’t that wide. Especially today where tons of bright kids get shut out of admissions to top-top schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school. Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school. I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company. Cream will always rise to the top. If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern. You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up. My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now. The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be. I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success. He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12. I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did. I don't worry about their peers dragging them down. They know the success if for themselves. They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school. They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me. My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A. The younger one is literally motivated by the grade. I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.

I'm not sure you're really doing your kids s favor by encouraging them to seek a less competitive environment so that they can stand out. Are they going to hide from the real world forever? Places full of people driven to excel are going to exist regardless of you avoid them or engage with them. Sticking your head in the sand doesn't change what's going on above the sand hole.

If you're pursuing a full ride or a financial situation, that is entirely different. But I think you will find that some highly competitive schools are also extremely generous with financial aid.

[Anonymous]

We're in an unchartered territory because of AI. The jobs will look different four years from now. That’s inevitable. Don’t spend too much money on undergrad. It's so obvious that while college education is a necessity in general (unless you're a born entrepreneur), it will not guarantee you a high paying job because the jobs of the future will not rely on human intelligence (unless you're an AI visionary).
Kids should take a chill pill so to speak while this plays out. In state or very cheap public flagship is the way to go if you’re not going to get any merit aid. Very simple!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're in an unchartered territory because of AI. The jobs will look different four years from now. That’s inevitable. Don’t spend too much money on undergrad. It's so obvious that while college education is a necessity in general (unless you're a born entrepreneur), it will not guarantee you a high paying job because the jobs of the future will not rely on human intelligence (unless you're an AI visionary).
Kids should take a chill pill so to speak while this plays out. In state or very cheap public flagship is the way to go if you’re not going to get any merit aid. Very simple!

People with resources are going to pay for a high quality education. They're always have and they probably always will. No one can take an education away from you once you have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're in an unchartered territory because of AI. The jobs will look different four years from now. That’s inevitable. Don’t spend too much money on undergrad. It's so obvious that while college education is a necessity in general (unless you're a born entrepreneur), it will not guarantee you a high paying job because the jobs of the future will not rely on human intelligence (unless you're an AI visionary).
Kids should take a chill pill so to speak while this plays out. In state or very cheap public flagship is the way to go if you’re not going to get any merit aid. Very simple!

People with resources are going to pay for a high quality education. They're always have and they probably always will. No one can take an education away from you once you have it.

High quality education is available in a lot more places than you think. We’re saying the same thing, so please read, understand and then reply. Always a great strategy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school. Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school. I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company. Cream will always rise to the top. If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern. You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up. My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now. The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be. I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success. He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12. I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did. I don't worry about their peers dragging them down. They know the success if for themselves. They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school. They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me. My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A. The younger one is literally motivated by the grade. I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.

Agree with you that it has to be self-motivated and not parent directed, but interesting you chose private K-12. Cream does rise to the crop everywhere, agree, but can raise even higher when a self-motivated is surrounded by other motivated students everywhere and not just in a couple honors classes.

Having all extracurricular and sports in one place is worth paying for for a working parent - less driving more flexibility. Plus, they offers tons of enrichment on campus or I can have someone go to the campus much easier than in public school. Some things are just worth paying for with money to reduce stress and increase time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school. Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school. I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company. Cream will always rise to the top. If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern. You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up. My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now. The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be. I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success. He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12. I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did. I don't worry about their peers dragging them down. They know the success if for themselves. They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school. They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me. My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A. The younger one is literally motivated by the grade. I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.

I'm not sure you're really doing your kids s favor by encouraging them to seek a less competitive environment so that they can stand out. Are they going to hide from the real world forever? Places full of people driven to excel are going to exist regardless of you avoid them or engage with them. Sticking your head in the sand doesn't change what's going on above the sand hole.

If you're pursuing a full ride or a financial situation, that is entirely different. But I think you will find that some highly competitive schools are also extremely generous with financial aid.

I'm not pursuing it for financial reasons.

The "real world" is full of average people. Many of those average people have huge egos and think they are super smart. I think jt is you that has your head in the sand. Even in the corporate world I interact with high egos of average intelligence everyday - and this is an extremely competitive company. Our president is one of those people - he needed a brand name school to back up his lack of intelligence - and daddy got him in there. Not that I want my kids to be president, but the examples are literally everywhere.

[Anonymous]

My kids are really thriving at an Ivy, partly because of the amazing professors, but also because of the intellectual curiosity of their fellow students. I went to a no name LAC and also had a good learning experience, but I had to work to find other students really passionate about learning. I did have good relationships with my professors, some of whom were amazing, others who were 3rd rate. With large universities, teaching can be uneven and class sizes huge. Honors colleges help with this.

It bothers me when people snub lower tier schools thinking their "brilliant" kid would be bored. They can make something wonderful there, but I also think that the top tier schools have a unique means to offer an amazing learning environment.

Sorry for the choppy thoughts. On my phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're in an unchartered territory because of AI. The jobs will look different four years from now. That’s inevitable. Don’t spend too much money on undergrad. It's so obvious that while college education is a necessity in general (unless you're a born entrepreneur), it will not guarantee you a high paying job because the jobs of the future will not rely on human intelligence (unless you're an AI visionary).
Kids should take a chill pill so to speak while this plays out. In state or very cheap public flagship is the way to go if you’re not going to get any merit aid. Very simple!

People with resources are going to pay for a high quality education. They're always have and they probably always will. No one can take an education away from you once you have it.

High quality education is available in a lot more places than you think. We’re saying the same thing, so please read, understand and then reply. Always a great strategy!

+1

Many state flagship, top 500 schools can offer a great education and opportunities for those that want it. Just because they only give this to 10% of the students rather than 50%, like the more competitive school, doesn't mean it's not available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are really thriving at an Ivy, partly because of the amazing professors, but also because of the intellectual curiosity of their fellow students. I went to a no name LAC and also had a good learning experience, but I had to work to find other students really passionate about learning. I did have good relationships with my professors, some of whom were amazing, others who were 3rd rate. With large universities, teaching can be uneven and class sizes huge. Honors colleges help with this.

It bothers me when people snub lower tier schools thinking their "brilliant" kid would be bored. They can make something wonderful there, but I also think that the top tier schools have a unique means to offer an amazing learning environment.

Sorry for the choppy thoughts. On my phone.

This is the truth and my point as to why it isn’t the same, it shows up in every conversation and how people live and move. I have one at Ivy and the other at a mid-level. The student bodies are so incredibly different. Both can do well, but the chatter at one centers around sports, parties, what to wear, and that is so not the vibe at the other. The younger has to actively seek out those more committed to studies.

[Anonymous]

This post frankly smacks a bit of elitism. You can learn something from almost anyone you interact with.

[Anonymous]

Just look at median GPA, SAT and number of AP courses taken and aced with 5's of two sample colleges from T20 and T200, you'll find your answer. Yes there'll be smart kids at both schools but percentage is going to be several times higher at a T20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post frankly smacks a bit of elitism. You can learn something from almost anyone you interact with.

M

+100. Most workplaces are filled with people from all kinds of educational backgrounds. And many have better street smarts and coping skills. Truth. Signed, sheltered SLAC grad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are really thriving at an Ivy, partly because of the amazing professors, but also because of the intellectual curiosity of their fellow students. I went to a no name LAC and also had a good learning experience, but I had to work to find other students really passionate about learning. I did have good relationships with my professors, some of whom were amazing, others who were 3rd rate. With large universities, teaching can be uneven and class sizes huge. Honors colleges help with this.

It bothers me when people snub lower tier schools thinking their "brilliant" kid would be bored. They can make something wonderful there, but I also think that the top tier schools have a unique means to offer an amazing learning environment.

Sorry for the choppy thoughts. On my phone.

This is the truth and my point as to why it isn’t the same, it shows up in every conversation and how people live and move. I have one at Ivy and the other at a mid-level. The student bodies are so incredibly different. Both can do well, but the chatter at one centers around sports, parties, what to wear, and that is so not the vibe at the other. The younger has to actively seek out those more committed to studies.

And once your younger one graduates they will know how "to actively seek out" their peers better than your older one, because they have practice. Point is - good students are everywhere. And in the workplace so are good (and mediocre) employees.