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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a "high stats" kid who went to a non selective school.  Why? Full ride.

I was self motivated in my large wealthy suburban high school.  I'm self motivated at my large fortune 500 company.  Cream will always rise to the top.  If motivation is coming from mommy and daddy I can see your concern.  You actually have held up a dud kid and they will eventually fail when you can no longer hold them up.  My parents didn't expect much from me, never checked my grades, didn't know what I got my degrees in - I'm not sure they know now.  The point is I was successful for me and I knew from a young age how to be.  I have a very high IQ - I think my dad does too, but his abusive family was a bit of a hindrance to his success.  He was only emotionally abusive to me, which actually was just the fuel I needed to get the he!! out of Dodge.

On a side note I have 2 kids - both gifted. I've tried to be the parent I needed and they went to selective private schools, preK-12.  I'm actually advising them toward non selective colleges, because they will stand out there, just like I did.  I don't worry about their peers dragging them down.  They know the success if for themselves.  They do stand out at their private school, but probably not as much as they would at a non-selective school.  They don't really get their motivation from their friends, or from me.  My older one is driven by the work - she really loves to do a good job and will continue to tweak projects after she gets an A.  The younger one is literally motivated by the grade.  I was motivated by the competition and winning, which is easy to do when the other kids are only average.[/quote]

I'm not sure you're really doing your kids s favor by encouraging them to seek a  less competitive environment so that they can stand out.  Are they going to hide from the real world forever?  Places full of people driven to excel are going to exist regardless of you avoid them or engage with them.  Sticking your head in the sand doesn't change what's going on above the sand hole.

If you're pursuing a full ride or a financial situation, that is entirely different.  But I think you will find that some highly competitive schools are also extremely generous with financial aid.[/quote]

I'm not pursuing it for financial reasons.

The "real world" is full of average people.  Many of those average people have huge egos and think they are super smart.  I think jt is you that has your head in the sand.  Even in the corporate world I interact with high egos of average intelligence everyday - and this is an extremely competitive company.  Our president is one of those people - he needed a brand name school to back up his lack of intelligence - and daddy got him in there.  Not that I want my kids to be president, but the examples are literally everywhere.[/quote]

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