My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!

[Anonymous]

OP, tell DW that you’ll split it with her. When she asks how she’ll earn the money, tell her you’ll credit her $50 per BJ. How quickly she gets to $4k will be up to her. Win - win!

[Anonymous]

Just here to point out that you can get many new Chanel bags (like the new 25) for under $6500 before taxes. The Maxi Flap is $7800 and its pretty large. The 22s are in the $5000 range, so there are cheaper options. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

It’s only an “investment” if it remains in perfect condition ie she doesn’t use it.

OP ask her if she can wait a year for her 35th, as that’ll be her milestone birthday. Tell her if she still really wants that specific bag a year later, you guys can talk about it then. Also ask if she’d be willing to consider a “pre-owned” one. Or tell her you’ll consider getting her a gift card to Chanel for an amount you can afford so she can pick out something she likes to go with the bag she’s going to buy for herself. But I think it’s crazy and manipulative that she’s basically telling you that every time she carries the bag it’s bc she wants you to feel like a loser. Think she’s in for a rude awakening in life

[Anonymous]

What does she mean she’s going to buy it anyway? If she does, isn’t this all moot?

[Anonymous]

I'd put that $8K down as a retainer with a divorce attorney instead if that's how she talks to you.

[Anonymous]

8000 Chanel bag on 250k HHI?

You are solidly middle class. Will she leave events holding the bag while she hops into a honda civic or minivan? Tell her its not reasonable unless you earn 500k. It's almost one month of take home pay for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.

Holy cr*p. You have bigger problems than an expensive handbag.

Beyond that, you cannot afford an 8K handbag. (I own two Birkins and many other lower tier bags, for perspective, so I'm not opposed to high end bags.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just here to point out that you can get many new Chanel bags (like the new 25) for under $6500 before taxes. The Maxi Flap is $7800 and it's pretty large. The 22s are in the $5000 range, so there are cheaper options. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I'm guessing she wants it for a runaround bag like her friends are carrying, sort of situation. The larger bag would work for grocery store, regular shopping, etc.

[Anonymous]

im getting a sense OP doesnt talk to his MIL much. And that his wife is from a small town, to think 250k is rich lol.

Tell MIL that your wife insists on buying an 8000 bag.

[Anonymous]

I don't have the stamina to go through 8 pages of comments here.

Is OP upset about an 8k gift, or just an 8k bag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have the stamina to go through 8 pages of comments here.

Is OP upset about an 8k gift, or just an 8k bag?

OPs wife wants an $8k bag
OP makes $250k - Wife is a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.

Holy cr*p. You have bigger problems than an expensive handbag.

Beyond that, you cannot afford an 8K handbag. (I own two Birkins and many other lower tier bags, for perspective, so I'm not opposed to high end bags.)

I totally missed that line. This would be such a red flag.

I have kids and if they spoke to me that way, it would an automatic no even if I would previously have bought it for them.

[Anonymous]

Spend the 8 grand on a lawyer and get a new wife. This one is worthless and getting rid of her is a great investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have the stamina to go through 8 pages of comments here.

Is OP upset about an 8k gift, or just an 8k bag?

OPs wife wants an $8k bag
OP makes $250k - Wife is a SAHM

Ok, but would he get her an 8k gift without making a big deal of it if it were something else? That he isn't judging? That is what is relevant. If he would never buy an 8k gift, and does not consider it reasonable or affordable at all in the context of their family's finances ... then fine. She's the problem. If they have a precedent of expensive gifts like this, and he just thinks a Chanel bag is stupid, then he's the problem (even if you agree that a Chanel bag is stupid).

[Anonymous]

Channel bag is for poor people pretending to be rich. Rich people buy Hermes Kelly bag.