60% of girls say they want college, only 46% of boys

[Anonymous]

Above poster, did we have back in the day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.

+1. It’s a lot easier to blame others and the system for your parenting failure. There are no shortages of opportunities for white boys. They fail because their parents enabled them.

Where is the evidence that parents of girls parent better?

+1
I have polite, smart sons that got into Ivies unhooked. They have serious grit and empathy for others. Fit, athletic, non-drinkers, etc.

We did a damn good job- lol

Girl mom here and I have to admit that both of my DDs have boyfriends who are spectacular kids. Kind, respectful, smart, and ambitious. Their parents definitely raised them right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

+1 we never got an xbox, and DS didn't get a phone until he was 13 because we didn't have a home phone, and we wanted to be able to leave him home while running errands. But, he had very limited screen time in every way. We saw how he could get easily sucked into computer games and how he got angry playing them.

He's now 19, straight A student in college dual STEM major. He told me recently that we did a good thing limiting their electronics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.

You either do not have a son, or you are one of a small minority who has some kind of fall in line, do only as moms and teachers say type. I paid immense amounts of attention to my son. To the OP's point, it was actually to the detriment of my daughter two years younger than him. He required so much attention--and as a college senior limping to the finish line, still does. Our schools went so far in accommodating the learning styles of girls that boys have been left far far behind. My son is objectively (I know, we had to have him tested three times) extremely intelligent. Far more so than my daughter. But he failed at so many things in school that his self-esteem was in the basement. Now that he has matured, he recognizes clearly what happened. He doesn't blame women, fortunately, but he has so much regret that he wasn't able to better advocate for himself, rather than spending his first 18 years of life constantly berated and demeaned by teachers. My husband and I were just noticing last night that of the 6 or so boys who all grew together in our neighborhood, every single one of them has struggled to finish college. Two of them look like they won't make it. They were just so ground down going through school they have nothing left to keep going.

Can you please explain what you mean by "the learning style of girls"?

In short: people pleasing. Enthusiastic. Following directions explicitly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

I did all of those things. He has high IQ and low processing speed,which is not from too much screen use and not enough time reading. We emphasized limited screens and lots of reading his whole childhood. You all can make us parents of ADHD boys out to be horrible parents all you like. My son is brilliant. School was a nightmare and maybe two teachers his entire childhood could have cared less how smart he is.

It’s not what individual parents are doing or not doing. It’s not one specific thing. If the issue of boys falling behind is this widespread, then there are bigger, multiple factors at play. There are lots of brilliant kids whose talents aren’t recognized because of the way our education system is. What is encouraging is that there’s a lot more awareness about ADHD and learning challenges and that many parents and some schools are trying to do something about it.

Believe me, I know. But there are foolish women on here who won the luck of the draw with their slightly above average, neurotypical kids and think the problem with boys who are treated badly throughout school are their parents. They have no clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for people to talk about how teaching has changed to be more advantageous to girls.

Less recess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.

+1. It’s a lot easier to blame others and the system for your parenting failure. There are no shortages of opportunities for white boys. They fail because their parents enabled them.

Where is the evidence that parents of girls parent better?

+1
I have polite, smart sons that got into Ivies unhooked. They have serious grit and empathy for others. Fit, athletic, non-drinkers, etc.

We did a damn good job- lol

Girl mom here and I have to admit that both of my DDs have boyfriends who are spectacular kids. Kind, respectful, smart, and ambitious. Their parents definitely raised them right!

I raised my kid right and he is all those things. But teachers treated him horribly the first 18 years of his life and he was profoundly despressed for quite a lot of it as a result. His dad and I were his champions, so he made it through, even has one of his best friends committed suicide junior year and another classmate died of an overdose as a result of serious depression. Those of you who don't have boys who struggle in this thread are not just heartless but also without a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

+1 we never got an xbox, and DS didn't get a phone until he was 13 because we didn't have a home phone, and we wanted to be able to leave him home while running errands. But, he had very limited screen time in every way. We saw how he could get easily sucked into computer games and how he got angry playing them.

He's now 19, straight A student in college dual STEM major. He told me recently that we did a good thing limiting their electronics.

These posts are so frustrating! My kid also didn't have video games or a phone well into his teen years. He has very high intelligence. Is earnest and sweet. He is definitely not a straight A student nor in STEM, despite his parents probably doing an even better job than you. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

+1 we never got an xbox, and DS didn't get a phone until he was 13 because we didn't have a home phone, and we wanted to be able to leave him home while running errands. But, he had very limited screen time in every way. We saw how he could get easily sucked into computer games and how he got angry playing them.

He's now 19, straight A student in college dual STEM major. He told me recently that we did a good thing limiting their electronics.

These posts are so frustrating! My kid also didn't have video games or a phone well into his teen years. He has very high intelligence. Is earnest and sweet. He is definitely not a straight A student nor in STEM, despite his parents probably doing an even better job than you. Just stop.

? how do you know that?

[Anonymous]

Boys excelled when our education system was MUCH more rigid than it is now. American schools have never allowed as much movement and interaction as they do now. Little boys are not forced to sit in rows and have their hands smacked by rulers for making a peep anymore. Yes, all of them need more recess, but fortunately lawmakers figured that out and reversed the worst of the trends away from it.

So I honestly don’t understand the “boys are failing because our education system is set up for girls and the expectations for boys are too high.” It was LITERALLY only for boys for generations, and the allowances made for “active boys” have only increased. Other countries that have not made these changes still have boys excelling.

So what else could be happening here? Or do we need to go back to the good old days of hitting wiggly children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to promote the trades again. There are well paying jobs in the trades and often a shortage of qualified workers. Stop shoving college or bust down their throats.

It is not an easy life.

It’s not n easy life but it’s not a bad one; especially now. I was in the trades before going to college and back in them for a couple of years when I needed more money for grad school. I enjoyed it though I knew it wasn’t for me in the long run. There is something nice about leaving work behind at quitting time and seeing the visible results of your efforts. Trades should be taught and encouraged. We need to create a culture of education including the trades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

I did all of those things. He has high IQ and low processing speed,which is not from too much screen use and not enough time reading. We emphasized limited screens and lots of reading his whole childhood. You all can make us parents of ADHD boys out to be horrible parents all you like. My son is brilliant. School was a nightmare and maybe two teachers his entire childhood could have cared less how smart he is.

It’s not what individual parents are doing or not doing. It’s not one specific thing. If the issue of boys falling behind is this widespread, then there are bigger, multiple factors at play. There are lots of brilliant kids whose talents aren’t recognized because of the way our education system is. What is encouraging is that there’s a lot more awareness about ADHD and learning challenges and that many parents and some schools are trying to do something about it.

Believe me, I know. But there are foolish women on here who won the luck of the draw with their slightly above average, neurotypical kids and think the problem with boys who are treated badly throughout school are their parents. They have no clue.

I suspect you are the mom of the 138 IQ son taking a jab at me (the mom you instructed to leave the thread), and if so you are wrong on multiple counts. 1) My son’s IQ is more than one standard deviation higher than your son’s. 2) He’s also neurodivergent, just doesn’t have ADHD. 3) There are many posters on this thread - I personally have not and do not blame parents for their kids being treated badly at school. Ironically, you are the one insulting others by claiming boys who can sit still in class must be on drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.

+1. It’s a lot easier to blame others and the system for your parenting failure. There are no shortages of opportunities for white boys. They fail because their parents enabled them.

Where is the evidence that parents of girls parent better?

+1
I have polite, smart sons that got into Ivies unhooked. They have serious grit and empathy for others. Fit, athletic, non-drinkers, etc.

We did a damn good job- lol

Girl mom here and I have to admit that both of my DDs have boyfriends who are spectacular kids. Kind, respectful, smart, and ambitious. Their parents definitely raised them right!

I raised my kid right and he is all those things. But teachers treated him horribly the first 18 years of his life and he was profoundly despressed for quite a lot of it as a result. His dad and I were his champions, so he made it through, even has one of his best friends committed suicide junior year and another classmate died of an overdose as a result of serious depression. Those of you who don't have boys who struggle in this thread are not just heartless but also without a clue.

What kid of crazy place did you raise your kid? My sons both did well in school and doing well in college. Their friends are also well adjusted and doing well…know nobody that committed suicide or overdosed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but it's not a systemic thing, it's BAD PARENTING. Parents have just assumed for so long that their boys are going to do well that they have been completely ignoring them throughout their entire childhoods, and then they become young men, and boom! Boymoms blame the system instead of themselves for not encouraging independence and providing enrichment for them. Want STEM for your boys? Find clubs for them to join, there are plenty - look at all the First Lego leagues. Want outdoorsmanship for your boys? Surprise! There's Boy Scouts (or whatever it's called now). Want your boy to do track and field? Rec leagues offer a million and five sports options every season! Art classes accept boys, all the math enrichment programs accept boys, all sort of things available to your boys, ladies, STOP IGNORNIG THEM.

+1. It’s a lot easier to blame others and the system for your parenting failure. There are no shortages of opportunities for white boys. They fail because their parents enabled them.

Where is the evidence that parents of girls parent better?

+1
I have polite, smart sons that got into Ivies unhooked. They have serious grit and empathy for others. Fit, athletic, non-drinkers, etc.

We did a damn good job- lol

Girl mom here and I have to admit that both of my DDs have boyfriends who are spectacular kids. Kind, respectful, smart, and ambitious. Their parents definitely raised them right!

I raised my kid right and he is all those things. But teachers treated him horribly the first 18 years of his life and he was profoundly despressed for quite a lot of it as a result. His dad and I were his champions, so he made it through, even has one of his best friends committed suicide junior year and another classmate died of an overdose as a result of serious depression. Those of you who don't have boys who struggle in this thread are not just heartless but also without a clue.

What kid of crazy place did you raise your kid? My sons both did well in school and doing well in college. Their friends are also well adjusted and doing well…know nobody that committed suicide or overdosed.

+1 Sounds like the ghetto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for people to talk about how teaching has changed to be more advantageous to girls.

Less recess.

+2 Also, expectations to sit still and no talking for longer periods of time during the day.