What does I don't "really" drink mean (to you)?

[Anonymous]

I don’t really drink. Here’s what I mean by that:

Because wine can be a migraine trigger and is linked with breast cancer (and I have a family history of BC), I pretty much gave up wine. I might have a few sips once or twice a year at a holiday event or gathering.

Because beer is fattening and upsets my stomach, I only have one beer 0 to 3 times a year (think: really cold light beer with a lime wedge at a party or on vacation…and I never finish the entire bottle).

I’ll have 1 or 2 hard ciders (probably half the serving) each year at a bonfire or beer farm each fall season.

A tiny bit of champagne once or twice a year at party.

Frozen drinks on vacation. Never finish the entire drink (barely half…which frustrates my cheapskate husband).

Another way to think about this: we don’t keep beer or booze in our house and if I never had another drink for the rest of my life I wouldn’t really notice or miss it.

FTR, I’ve never had a drinking problem. I just realize it’s not healthy and I’m long past my teen years when getting drunk was fun.

In 2024, anyone who drinks daily must not be paying attention to the research.

[Anonymous]

It means to me that these people are not part of a drinking culture. They do not equate celebrations with alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really drink since I hit my 50s. Body doesn't really metabolize even in small amount of alcohol like it used to.

This is what I mean when I say it. I used to drink. I still technically enjoy a drink. I just start nodding off halfway through one now, so I generally don’t.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

No. It’s because you come off as smug, judgmental prats, just like vegans. Everyone hates you. But you wouldn’t know that, because you’re sitting at home at night, watching The Gilded Age, instead of out being sociable. Stay home with your bustles and muffs, Carrie Nation.

You've pickled your brain, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every one in my immediate family would say that. Meaning they might have a margarita in Mexico or champagne during wedding toasts. But never multiples and never to get drunk.

This is the answer. I'm not a teetotaler, but I don't go out of my way to have a drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

No. It’s because you come off as smug, judgmental prats, just like vegans. Everyone hates you. But you wouldn’t know that, because you’re sitting at home at night, watching The Gilded Age, instead of out being sociable. Stay home with your bustles and muffs, Carrie Nation.

Dp. Actually, you are the smug one when you assume because people like pp and me are alone because we don't drink. We don't need alcohol to be social. While you are anxious and need that drink to calm you we non drinkers are not.

And honestly, we don't care if you 'hate' us.

And they really do hate about it, which is why some of us qualify with "I don't really drink" instead of "I'm sober" or "I don't drink" even when the latter two are true.

Some of y'all are mean drunks, even when you're dry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get fewer questions if you don’t speak in absolutes. Drinkers get offended when you say “I don’t drink”.

Yeah, you've got to duck their fragility about it, lest they be confronted with their own habits and tasked with evaluating why they drink.

If you're not an alcoholic, you stop drinking when you realize there's no benefit.

Lot of alcoholics, especially in the DC metro area.

[Anonymous]

As someone who doesn't really drink, to me it means that I will occasionally have a drink if something looks good, but I also don't go out of my way to drink or even drink at most social events. I don't have an issue with alcohol, actually just the opposite, I just really don't care about it and it rarely appeals to me. I also really don't like the after effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really drink. For me that means that I often go 2-3 weeks without consuming any alcohol. I drink a single glass of wine at dinner or a single cocktail when out with friends. I will have 1 beer at a work happy hour. I would estimate I drink 2-10 alcoholic beverages per month.

I drink when it compliments a nice meal or when I have a chance to drink something I really enjoy and savor it. I don’t ever drink “because I had a hard day” or to “let loose”. I can have fun or enjoy taking to people without alcohol. I can manage my stress without alcohol.

What? 10 drinks in a month makes you a moderate drinker. You absolutely drink, even if it's not a daily habit.

+1

When I say I don't "really" drink it means I normally don't drink. I want to leave the door open for the occasional holiday cocktail. If you say 'I don't drink' it sounds harsh and judgy,, and opens you up to criticism if you do decide to take the glass of champagne at the wedding or the eggnog or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

It isn't childish because it is correct. There is nothing good that you get from drinking alcohol. And I honestly,
What do you care what I think? If you read the latest studies alcohol is responsible for six different cancers. But. Go ahead and drink. I don't care if you rot your brain or liver. As long as you don't drink and drive it is your life.

No one knows what I think about alcohol but while I don't push you to stop alcoholics will push you to drink or call you names. Like you pp. Maybe you are the immature one. Eh?

DP

I don't drink much, i.e., 3 glasses a year and I totally disagree with the bolded. It is a social lubricant. People with healthy social lives live longer. This has been proven over and over and over. Alcohol is a part of the culture in MANY of the societieswith the longest life spans. As PP said, living in a black and white world is childish. Alcohol is very much grey world. Too much is bad, we know that. A little can be very healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

No. It’s because you come off as smug, judgmental prats, just like vegans. Everyone hates you. But you wouldn’t know that, because you’re sitting at home at night, watching The Gilded Age, instead of out being sociable. Stay home with your bustles and muffs, Carrie Nation.

Dp. Actually, you are the smug one when you assume because people like pp and me are alone because we don't drink. We don't need alcohol to be social. While you are anxious and need that drink to calm you we non drinkers are not.

And honestly, we don't care if you 'hate' us.

Eh, cake is not really my thing. I might eat a piece or two in a year, but it generally doesn't excite me so nine times out of ten, if I'm at a party where it's passed around, I just say no thanks. I don't need to tell everyone else that sugar is poison and judge the fact that they choose otherwise. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

I think people "freak out" with the condescending judgements, not the 'I don't drink'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

No. It’s because you come off as smug, judgmental prats, just like vegans. Everyone hates you. But you wouldn’t know that, because you’re sitting at home at night, watching The Gilded Age, instead of out being sociable. Stay home with your bustles and muffs, Carrie Nation.

Dp. Actually, you are the smug one when you assume because people like pp and me are alone because we don't drink. We don't need alcohol to be social. While you are anxious and need that drink to calm you we non drinkers are not.

And honestly, we don't care if you 'hate' us.

Eh, cake is not really my thing. I might eat a piece or two in a year, but it generally doesn't excite me so nine times out of ten, if I'm at a party where it's passed around, I just say no thanks. I don't need to tell everyone else that sugar is poison and judge the fact that they choose otherwise. Who cares?

NP here, but that is the thing. See I don't really drink and often say "no thanks" as social events. I never say alcohol is poison or criticize others for drink, yet my not drinking often makes the drinkers uncomfortable. They often feel the need to ask why I am not drinking, like there is so deep reason other than I just don't care for alcohol, or say "oh just have a one". I never ask them "why are you drinking? Do you have a problem with alcohol?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

I think people "freak out" with the condescending judgements, not the 'I don't drink'.

I get this if the non drinker is telling them alcohol is bad, poison or whatever, but why do drinkers automatically feel judged simply by someone saying "no, thanks, I don't really drink" and leaving it at that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's something I would say if my 14 yo was with me too!

Really? Lying is more acceptable to you than responsibly and moderately imbibing?

There is no acceptable amount that is healthy. But if he said that then drinkers would get upset.

I don’t see where I said drinking was healthy. But responsible, moderate drinking can be part of a healthy life, just as eating a steak or a bowl of ice cream can be. You don’t need to be abstinent to be healthy. This black or white thinking is so off-putting and frankly childish. It’s how I thought when I was 8.

These things are not the same. Steak has protein, ice cream has calcium, alcohol has poison. There isn't a nutritional value in alcohol, especially the way some of y'all drink it.

You'll try some "red wine has..." and so does a tomato, without the carcinogens.

So yeah, those of us who don't drink (at all) will often hedge it a bit ("I don't really drink") because y'all tend to freak out when we say it's not for us at all.

I think people "freak out" with the condescending judgements, not the 'I don't drink'.

I get this if the non drinker is telling them alcohol is bad, poison or whatever, but why do drinkers automatically feel judged simply by someone saying "no, thanks, I don't really drink" and leaving it at that?

Exactly. PP lost the thread, the entirety of which is about a non-drinker's need to say something softer, like "I don't *really* drink" in order to avoid the immediate condescension and questioning from those who do.

And if you don't believe that happens, try it for yourself. It absolutely does.