Can I salvage my career after SAHM 22 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

Yeah she should be a social worker or patient advocate. Not going to be a government lawyer as BigLaw refugees and JAG retires compete for those roles.

[Anonymous]

If you home schooled why not become a SPED teacher?

[Anonymous]

As a SN parent myself, if you have that much experience navigating the school/therapy/insurance beauracracy, you should explore ways to help parents with newly diagnosed children dive in and navigate the world of SPED.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this thread is a good example of the other thread about women being nasty to other women. OP asked for some advice, and so many of you turned it into an opportunity to attack her.

[Anonymous]

OP, the environmental toxin thing makes you just sound ultra kooky.

You sound like you’d be a difficult employee. And you can’t afford that image given your complete lack of work history over 20 years. You also haven’t answered whether you kept up your law license (unless I missed it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread is a good example of the other thread about women being nasty to other women. OP asked for some advice, and so many of you turned it into an opportunity to attack her.

This. It's not like the OP wasn't clear in her original post that she chose to care for her child instead of work and that she'd now like to use her degree. Her aspirations were pretty humble (to use her degree, even pro bono) and I didn't see her asking for sympathy so I don't understand all those "now I have no sympathy" responses. So yes, she didn't care about her career as much as she did her family, and she was privileged enough not to have to work for a living - does that mean she can never work, because she hasn't shown the appropriate fealty to the grind?

FWIW, we've had former SAHMs take on admin roles after decades of staying home and they turned out to be very well-organized and hard workers. I've also had moms who have been employed for decades who treat their job as a side hobby and burn all their leave as soon as they get it (and men, and non-parents who did the same thing!).

I like the idea of OP leaning in to school advocacy. OP, why not reach out to some of your contacts in that field, or even cold-contact education lawyers and advocates in your area through Linked IN or even the old fashioned cover letter? You can ask for "coffee chats" or Zooms where you explain your expertise and how you want to use your license. Maybe someone will offer you an unpaid internship or a paid part-time/paralegal role. If you're not comfortable being a litigator, you could work under an attorney who does litigation, and your role could be researching, letter writing, and attending conferences with parents. Or you could go out on your own as an advocate, non-attorney who happens to have a JD. Eventually you might be able to strike out on your own. Seems like it could be lucrative and interesting and you have the passion for it.

[Anonymous]

Being a pro bono lawyer isn't humble if you haven't kept up with the law and don't remember much from school.

OP suggest you get some bar review books and start practicing and relearning. Then take the exam. If you kept your license, you still need to know things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a pro bono lawyer isn't humble if you haven't kept up with the law and don't remember much from school.

OP suggest you get some bar review books and start practicing and relearning. Then take the exam. If you kept your license, you still need to know things.

Exactly. It became clear OP isn't looking for work where she can add value (social work or SN advocacy) but to use her "fancy degree" as an ego boost that she could "have been as a successful". It's all just a sham, she doesn't really want or need to work, she just wants a hobby where she can play lawyer.

The kooky toxic exposure story and quack medicine is just the icing on the cake for how little value she will bring to any job as I'm sure she will be as skeptical of them as modern medicine. She could have just said she had health challenges but is now better and leave it at that; the exposition pulls back the curtain on her way of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

Name three. Or even one.

Even as a hiring manager (and a very senior one) I can't think of a single thing that would qualify someone for--and I would frankly bin the resume for even trying to make that sound like a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Really have to circle back to this bit of crazy. Maybe I'm way behind on generic tesring, but a test that evaluates your genetic capability to process "toxins" (which involves everything from live and kidney function to nostril hairs) seems like witch doctor.

I am guessing that testing was done by the holistic doctors who also sold you treatments? Did they say what toxins were at fault?

Did you test your home for toxins, most dangerous ones like lead and mold can be mediated.

It's impossible to reverse COPD, so have you simply halted it's progression or perhaps were misdiagnosed for asthma?

This whole aside makes me suspect of your critical thinking; as a home schooling SAHM you may have been very isolated and iit can wear on mental faculties. Did your DH travel a lot and have long hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

This sure feels like OP sock puppeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

This sure feels like OP sock puppeting.

Wrong. I wrote the message and I have nothing to do with the OP. So no "sock puppet." Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Well this explains it all. You think you have a made up illness and you really think you couldn’t work with a child with special needs. Millions of Americans go to work every day and have sick kids or some sort of illness. A blind woman scanned my ticket at Disney world last week.

There are consequences to your behavior and not working for decades means you’ll have problems finding employment now.

There's no reason to be so rude about a life choice to take care of a child with special needs. This person did not hurt your company by taking care of their child.

Personally, I think the OP's commitment to caring for her child does translate to a career if she emphasizes her advocacy for her child and the expertise gained therefrom. There are plenty of government jobs where this type of dedication would be valued.

Yeah she should be a social worker or patient advocate. Not going to be a government lawyer as BigLaw refugees and JAG retires compete for those roles.

Come on, PP, are you actually equating a lateral BigLaw associate and JAG with OP, who seems to clearly understand she is entry level? She might be able to get a gvt atty position but probably not as a first job back into her career.

I think a lot of people just want to be nasty to OP and I think that is sad for them. OP will be fine if she decides what she wants and hustles. Takes what she can get and realizes she may have to flip through a few jobs before really getting established.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills.

Same. I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers. We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw. The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office. I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields. I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip. I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers. If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs. I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go. Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something. Get your foot in the door. Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you. Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game. Good luck!

I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career. Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job. Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do. It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.” What kind of illness is it and what does that mean? To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now.

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces. Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search.

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.

No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

Really have to circle back to this bit of crazy. Maybe I'm way behind on generic tesring, but a test that evaluates your genetic capability to process "toxins" (which involves everything from live and kidney function to nostril hairs) seems like witch doctor.

I am guessing that testing was done by the holistic doctors who also sold you treatments? Did they say what toxins were at fault?

Did you test your home for toxins, most dangerous ones like lead and mold can be mediated.

It's impossible to reverse COPD, so have you simply halted it's progression or perhaps were misdiagnosed for asthma?

This whole aside makes me suspect of your critical thinking; as a home schooling SAHM you may have been very isolated and iit can wear on mental faculties. Did your DH travel a lot and have long hours?

Another big LOL, it’s usually the conventional ones who are incapable of critical thinking or mental curiosity and are very narrow-minded and thinking there is just one way to do something. Have they not learned anything from the huge shift that occurred as a result of the pandemic.

As to health issues, I think PP needs to just shut up and be grateful she is not experiencing this