Do you use trackers with your college kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to school in LA and there are weekly police advisories of incidents. Par for the course for a major city and I usually don’t pay any attention to the small ones. When there’s an ongoing incident though, I check on find my to see where my kid is relative to the incidents. If they went to college in the middle of cowtown USA, I’d probably never use the feature. Context matters.

See this is the type of thing that feels like an invasion of privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

Same here.

Same here. I don’t regularly check, but she goes to college in a city and takes the train back which gets her to her apartment after midnight; I’m alway grateful to be able to track that trip. If she wants to turn it off I’m fine with that too, but I might ask for her to turn it on on special occasions like the train trip. It’s great on vacations too when you’re exploring different areas and you need to meet up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For example, my kid drives 8 hours to and from college. Yes, it’s nice to keep an eye on his progress. He may be an adult, but he’s only been driving independently for three years and it’s not an easy drive (PA turnpike). When my kids were studying abroad— and especially in transit or traveling alone or with a friend on weekends/ break/ before and after the program— it was very nice to have. Especially because Find My Phone worked when texting was glitchy in areas without fantastic cell service.

My 31 year old has a long commute to work. Yes, it’’s nice to keep an eye on his progress each day. He may be an adult, but he’s only been out of his 20s for one year.

Only been out of his 20's for one year? WTF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

It’s called trust. My children and I have it. So we’re all fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

You give permission to share location, and you can turn it off at any time. If young adults are being tracked, it’s bc they’re okay with it. Different people are different.

[Anonymous]

Kids share their location with everyone on Snapchat. They simply don't care if parents know their location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

You give permission to share location, and you can turn it off at any time. If young adults are being tracked, it’s bc they’re okay with it. Different people are different.

What age will they have to be before you stop? I can see doing this with a 10 year old, and can understand doing it with a high schooler. But if you're doing it with grown adults in college, then why not continue when they're in their 20s, 30s, or older? It's seriously messed up. Why not just get in your car and follow them arpund?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still follow my 23 yo college graduate who currently is living at home. It’s a matter of convenience. He knows and doesn’t care.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

You give permission to share location, and you can turn it off at any time. If young adults are being tracked, it’s bc they’re okay with it. Different people are different.

What age will they have to be before you stop? I can see doing this with a 10 year old, and can understand doing it with a high schooler. But if you're doing it with grown adults in college, then why not continue when they're in their 20s, 30s, or older? It's seriously messed up. Why not just get in your car and follow them arpund?

They can turn it off if they want. But parents can also stop paying the bill. I suspect most 20-somethings would rather enjoy the free $100 a month than a slight "invasion of privacy". It's not like Find My iPhone gives you a detailed dossier on someone. If you just shows when they're home or at work or in the car. You'd really have to be stalking it and refreshing it all day to get any invasive details. I doubt many if any parents are doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

You give permission to share location, and you can turn it off at any time. If young adults are being tracked, it’s bc they’re okay with it. Different people are different.

What age will they have to be before you stop? I can see doing this with a 10 year old, and can understand doing it with a high schooler. But if you're doing it with grown adults in college, then why not continue when they're in their 20s, 30s, or older? It's seriously messed up. Why not just get in your car and follow them arpund?

Eh, it’s really up to them. DD actually turned it on when she was doing a solo cross country road trip with lots of solo camping. She was a young woman, alone in multiple wilderness situations, and it gave her a little bit of extra security. This allowed her to feel comfortable doing something that I myself I *never* would have felt safe doing back in the day. So did it hamper her freedom or increase it? Maybe both.

She can turn it off any time. My guess is that she will someday switch it to a roommate or a partner. I guess it could be seriously messed up. That’s fine if you think so. But maybe there are lots of different people, and lots of different choices, and lots of different ways to make them. Who knows, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

But how is a college aged kid really going to know if their parents are actively tracking them? When I was in college, there was no way in hell I would have wanted my parents to be able to locate where I was at all times.

In our case, we've had the ability to track our kids (using find my phone) since they got their phones. We've developed a relationship with them over 4 yea years of high school that says that we only use the tracking in case of emergency and not on any sort of regular basis. When they come home I don't say "huh, i noticed you were in Arlington and then Bethesda. What were you doing?" I have my own life. I have about a million other things to do than track my kids' green dots around town.
SO my kids don't fear or think twice about tracking AT ALL because it's NEVER come back to bite them or limit their privacy or freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to school in LA and there are weekly police advisories of incidents. Par for the course for a major city and I usually don’t pay any attention to the small ones. When there’s an ongoing incident though, I check on find my to see where my kid is relative to the incidents. If they went to college in the middle of cowtown USA, I’d probably never use the feature. Context matters.

See this is the type of thing that feels like an invasion of privacy.

How is it an invasion of privacy when my college kid says 'I'm giving you access on findmy so you can see where I'm at' and 'I like that you can check on me sometimes' ??

[Anonymous]

Based on the responses on this thread those families with open, communicative relationships with their kids use these tools and It Is No Biggie Whatsoever because the lines of communication are wide open in the family.

Those families with very closed, cut off, non- communicative relationships with their kids can only think of findmy or other tracker as a surreptitious unhealthy stalking tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on the responses on this thread those families with open, communicative relationships with their kids use these tools and It Is No Biggie Whatsoever because the lines of communication are wide open in the family.

Those families with very closed, cut off, non- communicative relationships with their kids can only think of findmy or other tracker as a surreptitious unhealthy stalking tool.

Not true. I have a college aged DC that I don’t track at all but they call me and text daily and I know who their friends are and what they have planned for the day. No need to track at all. One thing is to track on a long distance drive but to do it daily and then say “why were you out at a club instead of the library” seems a bit much. That is where it becomes stalker material and not letting a young adult grow up to make their own mistakes. As for the mom of the 31 year old, when does it stop? At 31, some of here were already married with possibly a child. Just seems like you need to let go at some point.