Did you get parental help to buy any houses you own?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

+1. It's absolutely no different. If your plan is to take your inheritance and donate it all to charity, fine, you can be all smug and superior. But if you're taking the money now or letter, it's all the same.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

+1. It's absolutely no different. If your plan is to take your inheritance and donate it all to charity, fine, you can be all smug and superior. But if you're taking the money now or letter, it's all the same.

What inheritance are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

Nope. Remember who started the shame game. You're the one who suggested that my kids had less of a right to be proud of themselves than you do -- or that I have less of a right to be proud of them than had they done things your way. So if you want to know who started with the smugness and the smack talk and the boasting and the feeling of superiority, look in the mirror.

lol dp here but you kids DO have less of a right to be proud. They were handed down payments instead of saving aggressively and not buying avocado toast. Which is fine - life is easier for some but there are people your kids’ ages who have worked so hard and without any support (no fault of their own oftentimes) There was no struggle for your kids. Pride comes from hard work and a bit of struggle.

[Anonymous]

Not for the house directly, but yes for renovations and so on.

I had saved $250K and thought that made me a big shot who deserved to live in a fancy apartment. The renovation went way over budget, took three times as long as expected, and I ran out of money half way through. Oh yeah, I also forgot to budget for furniture.

My parents had to bail me out to the tune of like $100K. The worst part is this was in 2014, so if I had just put my $250K in the market, it would be worth like $2 million now.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

Nope. Remember who started the shame game. You're the one who suggested that my kids had less of a right to be proud of themselves than you do -- or that I have less of a right to be proud of them than had they done things your way. So if you want to know who started with the smugness and the smack talk and the boasting and the feeling of superiority, look in the mirror.

lol dp here but you kids DO have less of a right to be proud. They were handed down payments instead of saving aggressively and not buying avocado toast. Which is fine - life is easier for some but there are people your kids’ ages who have worked so hard and without any support (no fault of their own oftentimes) There was no struggle for your kids. Pride comes from hard work and a bit of struggle.

Thanks for setting the standard by which all of humanity has the right to feel proud.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

Nope. Remember who started the shame game. You're the one who suggested that my kids had less of a right to be proud of themselves than you do -- or that I have less of a right to be proud of them than had they done things your way. So if you want to know who started with the smugness and the smack talk and the boasting and the feeling of superiority, look in the mirror.

They didn’t accomplishment anything. What is the source of pride in accepting a financial gift? They can be proud of you for being in a position to give to them but YOUR KIDS didn’t put any effort towards the financial gift of a DP That’s the difference in a couple who saved for it. You can be neutral about something- neither proud or ashamed.

First you shamed me saying don’t be jealous of people with more money or material things, so I just replied you’re making assumptions, my own house is $2m.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

Nope. Remember who started the shame game. You're the one who suggested that my kids had less of a right to be proud of themselves than you do -- or that I have less of a right to be proud of them than had they done things your way. So if you want to know who started with the smugness and the smack talk and the boasting and the feeling of superiority, look in the mirror.

They didn’t accomplishment anything. What is the source of pride in accepting a financial gift? They can be proud of you for being in a position to give to them but YOUR KIDS didn’t put any effort towards the financial gift of a DP That’s the difference in a couple who saved for it. You can be neutral about something- neither proud or ashamed.

First you shamed me saying don’t be jealous of people with more money or material things, so I just replied you’re making assumptions, my own house is $2m.

This is the quote I'm referring to. Are you saying this wasn't you?

"I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is."

I disagree that what you've described necessarily means that you have any right to be "prouder." You are not in charge of setting the standard for being proud, and you have no right to decide who else has or does not have the right to be proud. You want to be proud of yourself? Great! You don't have to do it by comparing yourself to others, especially those you know absolutely nothing about.

[Anonymous]

No, but I did get a $20,000 inheritance from my brother at age 26, and I used that as a 5% down payment on a 80/15/5 loan. Bought the house for $400k, sold it for $625k a few years later. Current house is worth about $2.1m.

[Anonymous]

We got help with purchasing--my parents gave us money to be able to pay for our house in cash--but as soon as we closed, we took out a mortgage to be able to pay my parents back. So it was a short term, no interest loan of $650k for an $850k house, for which we had saved $200k for a down payment. We had made offers on 3 or 4 houses and lost so my parents suggested this as a way to have a more appealing offer. We paid every sent back within a month. Still, we were and are incredibly grateful. It turns out our offer was not the highest either nd was specifically chosen because it was all cash.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

What is there to be proud of if your parents helped?
If they earned it themselves, they accomplished a difficult goal. If you’re parents give it to you, you didn’t have to do anything for it or put work or effort towards it.

What are you talking about? You still have to have a good job and make good money and have good credit to qualify for a mortgage for a decent house. So, yea, nothing to be proud of if the parents give you a house, but if they help with a down payment? Of course it's still something to be proud of.

I don’t think it’s the same. Especially if you personally didn’t have the cash for the full down payment yourself. (from your career, not additional help from parents)

Interesting. Because I sure do. I have hardworking kids who have always done everything right, so yeah I've helped them with down payments and think they should be proud. If they were deadbeats I'd never have done it. I'm also proud of MYSELF that I was able to help. My own parents couldn't.

Don't be jealous of people with more money than you.

You’re assuming they have more money. I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is.

I own a $2 million home and a $1 million home -- both without help. My kids bought houses with my help. I'm no prouder of myself than I am of them. So, nope. I disagree.

You’re also 60+. I am in my 30’s, it’s just different, trust me. Not comparable.

I know it's different nowadays and more costly. Trust me. But I have to assume that you (or your spouse/partner if you have one) could afford your expensive house at your young age because you sold out and got some soulless high paying corporate type job that does no one on the planet any good. I didn't want my kids to do that, and I'm proud that they didn't. I'm glad they chose another route.

Well this is a weird comment. Did you accumulate your wealth taking care of orphans? What is an acceptable job that allows a person to not have to get an allowance from their parents as an adult?

We're not talking about my wealth. We're talking about how this poster got $200k before 30 to buy a $1.1 million house. She did it by selling out. Probably biglaw.

By the way, how did the poster pay for college and grad school? She obviously didn't take out loans -- no way she could pay them off AND come up with $200k by 30. So we know the parents paid. Nothing to be proud of there, eh?

Again you’re making assumptions. You’re picking on someone your child’s age. Bizarre behavior lady. No grad school. Undergrad paid for by full athletic scholarship.

Also, house is 2m, purchased at 32. Not sure where you got 1.1 by 30.

Ok, I get it: you're super proud. So tells us how you got the money.

I just did. Again, reminder, you’re shaming someone your child’s age who worked for their own home and lifestyle. The fact that you don’t see how emotionally immature and bizarre this is says a lot about your character. This isn’t normal.

Nope. Remember who started the shame game. You're the one who suggested that my kids had less of a right to be proud of themselves than you do -- or that I have less of a right to be proud of them than had they done things your way. So if you want to know who started with the smugness and the smack talk and the boasting and the feeling of superiority, look in the mirror.

They didn’t accomplishment anything. What is the source of pride in accepting a financial gift? They can be proud of you for being in a position to give to them but YOUR KIDS didn’t put any effort towards the financial gift of a DP That’s the difference in a couple who saved for it. You can be neutral about something- neither proud or ashamed.

First you shamed me saying don’t be jealous of people with more money or material things, so I just replied you’re making assumptions, my own house is $2m.

This is the quote I'm referring to. Are you saying this wasn't you?

"I own a 2m home with no help. They might be hardworking but surely you can see why someone who saved $200k+ with no help should be prouder? It’s more of an accomplishment. It just is."

I disagree that what you've described necessarily means that you have any right to be "prouder." You are not in charge of setting the standard for being proud, and you have no right to decide who else has or does not have the right to be proud. You want to be proud of yourself? Great! You don't have to do it by comparing yourself to others, especially those you know absolutely nothing about.

Ok, you’re right. You should be extremely proud they accepted a large financial gift! It’s impressive!

[Anonymous]

People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

+1000
Exactly, no need to be ashamed if you did get or give help but people who did it on their own do deserve kudos because it’s not easy and does require effort.

[Anonymous]

No. (I am still supporting my parents.) But I plan on helping my kids when time comes.

[Anonymous]

10k help with first DP.

50k help with second DP.

Condo paid off worth 345k.

NW 1.4M

HHI 300k (new in the past 2 years).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.