What are your weird family idosyncracies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

I'm the first poster in this particular thread. We are definitely not that family! We pride ourselves on making or ordering WAY too much food - leftovers can be more than we ate at the actual meal. But once dinner is served (assuming it's individual meals and not family style), each person will pass forkfuls of their dish to everyone else at the table. "OH, this is delicious, you must try a bite!" It's more like every man pushing his stuff on everyone else, lol!

DH, however, was from a large family and is not on board with sharing. He wants his meal entirely for himself and has zero interest in trying what I ordered. I've learned to adapt, although I think it's a little boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

Lol. I would order the same meal as him just out of spite. Not allowed? Ha, watch me order that meal

i would order first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a large family. We never used our front door. It opened into the fancy part of our small home. All our friends and neighbors came around to the back door. It was weird when someone knocked on the front door.

I think MIL is trying to make this a thing at our new home. She chooses to go around the garage, through the side gate (and by then the dogs are aware and jumping all over her), through the yard, past the pool and up the flights of stairs to the back deck to get in the back door so it's really quite an effort! We are worried the dogs are going to knock her down or in the pool.

Annnnnnnnd you haven’t told her to stop this because…?

If you have told her to stop and she continues, simply don’t open the back door. Call through that she should come around to the front. Make her repeat that process a few times, and she’ll be fully trained before you know it.

Oddly that has happened a few times that we didn't hear them at the back door so they had to go all the way back around and use their key (I guess not realizing it was the same key?) We have a great relationship, and we don't tell each other to do ANYTHING. We stated our concerns and it seems to float her boat to head in the back so it's her thing now- but only during daylight hours as we let her know that the side yard is often where the dogs poop and I don't get out every day to pick it up like I should. Or sometimes when the kids know they are coming, they all sit in the window bench and they then open the front door, call out and hold the dogs back. I feel like the back door is kind of her VIP entrance that they prefer and I guess it makes me happy that we finally have a home where she can conceivably do this- it strikes me that she has been dying to use it- only because it's a change/no one else does this. Though it hearkens to a time when backdoor/casual use was common, she is literally the only one who enters that way at our parties, so when we are entertaining outdoors like we normally are, she enters like a boss and it's kind of cute. She's the least in-your-face or bossy person ever- so this fascinates DH and me (he says this was not a thing at their home growing up!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a large family. We never used our front door. It opened into the fancy part of our small home. All our friends and neighbors came around to the back door. It was weird when someone knocked on the front door.

My mom is plastic knife lady (why did everyone here validate her?!) and also has a front door that’s off-limits. There hasn’t been a key for years and at one point the entire door had to be replaced because everything got stuck from disuse.

Same. My grandmother's front door was oriented to the street- but anyone pulling in with a vehicle entered from the covered porch along the back of the home.

One time they arrived home to the smell of burning and they finally found the source- someone canvassing for a political candidate stuck a postcard flyer in the corner of the doorbell and it shorted out (luckily it arced and burned but didn't spread a fire). They also saw signs that someone had tried to break in that way previously (They NEVER even went up these stairs or looked at the door). They were so pissed they called that political candidate's office (their same political party) to complain. After that, my grandfather removed the doorbell and added signage to direct anyone to the back door. They had to hammer out the door and shave the sides so it would actually open/close in case of an emergency. And after that they made it a point to always head up to the front door once in a while to make sure everything was normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

Uhh, not everyone is a fatty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, once my brother and I were old enough to take showers instead of baths, we were only allowed to use the one in my parents master bathroom (shower only, didn't have a tub in there) so that my mom didn't have to clean the hall bathtub anymore.

In high school, when my friend was staying over for several days she went to take a shower in the hall bathroom and the water came out brown from the pipes never being used. I was so used to our way of doing things that my reaction wasn't "oh no I'm so sorry!" It was "what are you even doing taking a shower in there?!" Like doesn't everyone only use their parents master bathroom to bathe?

This was us too!

+1

Us too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is single (never married, no kids). Very attached to her mom and brother (DH). Once in our early 30s, we visited her at her apartment in another state. It was our first time seeing her place. There were framed pictures of my husband all over her apartment (baby pictures, kid pictures, and adult pictures). It was truly the weirdest, creepiest thing I have ever seen. I don’t think she comprehended how bizarre it was.

I have two sils who are now in their 60s who never dated, have never had a serious relationship and both talked so inappropriately about my dh that I was often left dumbstruck. They expected my dh would be first in their lives over any wife he had and verbalized that often. Their family functioned like a cult with dysfunction and physical and emotional abuse. They both seemed angry they couldn't "keep" ie. marry their brother. We have no relationship with these people because it was all worse than I ever realized early in my relationship with dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

Uhh, not everyone is a fatty.

My family of origin included 2 rail thin brothers/track and XC runners. A petite neighbor lady with 2 little girls used to routinely drop off baked goods for us but she always included a tiny amount- here are 5 cookies! Even Christmas: here’s a small tin of 10 brownies!

We always joked about this as kids: clearly she didn’t understand just how much teen boys eat - much less a family of 3 DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a large family. We never used our front door. It opened into the fancy part of our small home. All our friends and neighbors came around to the back door. It was weird when someone knocked on the front door.

My ILs do this too. Everyone comes in from the back deck. I barely even know what landscape in the front looks like. It’s been over 20 years. You know if someone rings the front door, it’s someone selling something or a Mormon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

I find them fascinating as well. I am the youngest and the only female. In our household I was not treated like a princess. We had enough money but my parents grew up during the depression and my mom was obsessed with stretching every penny. I was always the last to get food passed around and if served was given a very small amount of food. My entire life my mother would eat food from my plate without asking. I often left dinner hungry. She even tried doing that with my kids. I learned to make lunch and breakfast myself but had to worry about my brothers poaching that too. I always feel anxious at any kind of food buffet and hate eating at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

Uhh, not everyone is a fatty.

Gimme a break. People that don't have teenage boys just can't comprehend how much they consume and still stay fit and trim with a 6 pack

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

Uhh, not everyone is a fatty.

Gimme a break. People that don't have teenage boys just can't comprehend how much they consume and still stay fit and trim with a 6 pack

PP here. But that is just it - it could be men or women, boys or girls - if you are a short/skinny family, you have no idea how much regular people eat! Some families are very active and athletic, average to tall size, in great athletic shape, and they serve more than enough food; while other families are not - they don't have enough, or serve enough, but they think that is normal, and they claim it is enough.

Plus, if those who serve less food did not regularly have close friends and/or extended family over for meals, their eating habits of not serving enough is reinforced, because they have no proper gauge. If you grow up in an active, normal to tall sized family, AND have extended family and close friends to your house for meals regularly (as they did us!), then your "normal" is making sure there are seconds (and maybe thirds) to go around. My mom would be absolutely horrified to not have enough of anything, even if it was just us. We did not have a lot of money, and many times we ate from our garden, but we always had what we needed, for food. We didn't claim it was "enough" if it obviously was not. It helps if you are a great cook - then, people usually want more of whatever you are serving.

Something else about my family is that we generally did not have any/much "junk food" around, and there was always fresh fruit and vegetables, even if grown ourselves. In spouse's family, not having enough dinner meant having chips and cereal after dinner, most nights - that was "normal" to them. Unfortunately, it often means other needs are not met, because it is a control issue on behalf of the parent. Even though we did not have a lot of money, serving healthy home made food was a priority for my parents, because that is how they were raised.

Thinking that people who serve enough healthy food for their family is a "fatty" is closed minded, ignorant and inaccurate PP. Instead, it seems that families who see to it that their children and family are eating enough healthy food are actually doing their parenting job quite well. There have been many studies on food and psychology. I suggest you do some research of your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

My sister and her family do something similar. She married a small man, and they have 2 petite girls (HS aged. One won't make it past 5 feet and the other is probably only 5'2. and super thing)

They'll host the family for dinner and the food is gone instantly. No surprise. DH is tall, and our boys (also HS. both over 6'0) will eat triple the amount of the girls. But they say stuff like "I can't believe there's no left overs. I bought a 3lb sirloin!"

It was mildly annoying at first, but now we just let the boys have a second dinner at home

That’s hilarious! My son has a friend with a similar family and he went over once to watch the Super Bowl with them. He told me he thought what was appetizers turned out to be the whole spread. He said they’d have one half deviled egg and be done. He was wondering where the rest of the meal was!

Uhh, not everyone is a fatty.

Uhh having one half of a devilled egg as your whole dinner is not being a fatty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share all of our food. If we go out to eat at a restaurant, we are all passing bites of our dinner around the table to each other. I've come to understand that this isn't completely normal, most people eat the dinner they ordered.

That's my father's pet peeve! He doesn't want to eat with people who do that. He wants to eat his dinner and be left alone. No sharing whatsoever.

I hate sharing because as the youngest in a large family my food was often taken. My mother was the worst about it.

This reminds me of the "every man for himself" families - usually large, where there is barely enough food to go around, but whomever the cook is (usually the mom) for meals, is oblivious and just seems to think that the guests "loved her food so much, and she made just enough!" UGH. DH still has food issues from growing up that way, meals were always stressful, and supplemented with cereal and/or chips after dinner.

We grew up not sharing, and had bread and salad (from the garden) with each (varied starch, varied meat, varied veggie) meal. Not sure if that is an idiosyncrasy. DH ate the same starch and veggie each meal, and rotated between two or three different meats, one for each meal. (We grew up working poor, DH did not).

DH does not like it if I order the same thing at dinner, it is not allowed, because of the presumption that it will be shared, yet we never share. Same with his family.

I think sharing your meal, or at least food, could have it's own thread! Apologies for the sidetrack, I just find upbringing and food dynamics interesting.

I find them fascinating as well. I am the youngest and the only female. In our household I was not treated like a princess. We had enough money but my parents grew up during the depression and my mom was obsessed with stretching every penny. I was always the last to get food passed around and if served was given a very small amount of food. My entire life my mother would eat food from my plate without asking. I often left dinner hungry. She even tried doing that with my kids. I learned to make lunch and breakfast myself but had to worry about my brothers poaching that too. I always feel anxious at any kind of food buffet and hate eating at them.

I think a lot of people are confusing “sharing” (offering some of your extras to the people around you) with “taking” or “hoarding”. True sharing happens when there is plenty to go around, and people want the joy of spreading what they have. Grabbing everything in sight because there isn’t enough for everyone isn’t “sharing”.