Are schools in the northeast just less happy fun and positive?

[Anonymous]

It’s tough to tell if Boston people are inherently harsh, or whether they pick it up from generations of New Yorkers going to college there. Regardless of what their transcript says, when New Yorkers spend 4 years in Boston, they usually major in comparing Boston to New York and complaining about the absence of places to get a decent corned beef sandwich at 3 a.m.

I was a Boston-area local at a college in Boston. We were so grateful to our friends to the southwest for taking the time out of their busy schedules to point out every conceivable way in which New York was better than Boston. Their generosity in helping us identify areas for improvement was noticed and admired by others, especially the gentle souls from the Garden State, who — fortunately for us — picked up the habit of endlessly comparing Boston to NY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. FYI I’m from the NY area. And went to school in the northeast. It was just an honest observation. It’s just edgier and more competitive here. And there is more irritability and anger and stress.

I was born and raised in the dc metro area and my spouse is from NY. We both went to college and grad school on the east coast.

Our kids opted to head south for the weather and positive vibe. They pointed out how uptight and unfriendly most people in the dc metro area are, and they aren’t wrong.

I enjoy visiting their college towns where everyone is outwardly friendly and chatty. It’s striking how much friendlier they are in the south.

One downside is they don’t move fast. But we are used to that (somewhat) given routine travel to the DE beaches ;0)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always found this tweet to be accurate:

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/jordan-green-whe...west-coast-tLkrwtOK9

I don't know much about the south, but I definitely prefer the way people in the northeast help out while minding their own business.

Jordan Green: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

New Yorkers will not say a single nice word for 15 minutes, whole time they're shoveling your car out of the snow for you

Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.

The narcissism of New Yorkers is always astonishing to watch in person.

I don't know, I once got on a bus in NYC when I was visiting from out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the hotel room and a passenger stood up and announced that they were taking up a collection for me and a bunch of passengers dug into the pockets and purses and handed this guy coins all while barely acknowledging him or looking up from whatever they were reading. I've had a soft spot for New Yorkers ever since.

[Anonymous]

By any chance did the nice passenger who collected money from the others have a gun? Did he request paper money & keep whatever was left after paying for your ride? Cuz it sounds like there might have been something going on there other than him just being altruistic. If he had reached in his OWN pocket, yes, great guy.

[Anonymous]

We ought to let the South secede.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’m serious. Kids seem happier in other regions. I wonder if mental health data supports this thesis

Did you survey students in every region? What boundaries are you using to determine "regions" here?

Are you one of the DCUM posters who complains in this forum about how colleges in cold-weather areas must be so depressing for students?

The post is beyond vague and makes vast assumptions, lumping all "schools in the Northeast" together, which is frankly silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always found this tweet to be accurate:

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/jordan-green-whe...west-coast-tLkrwtOK9

I don't know much about the south, but I definitely prefer the way people in the northeast help out while minding their own business.

Jordan Green: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

New Yorkers will not say a single nice word for 15 minutes, whole time they're shoveling your car out of the snow for you

Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.

The narcissism of New Yorkers is always astonishing to watch in person.

I don't know, I once got on a bus in NYC when I was visiting from out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the hotel room and a passenger stood up and announced that they were taking up a collection for me and a bunch of passengers dug into the pockets and purses and handed this guy coins all while barely acknowledging him or looking up from whatever they were reading. I've had a soft spot for New Yorkers ever since.

Living in NYC, I had the strongest "neighborhood" feel out of everywhere I lived --I knew all the shop-owners, my neighbors in the apartment building and just walking around, and they did more nice things for me than anywhere else. I felt similar when I lived in Madison, WI, where people would just really help you out. But one really strange thing there was I never experienced so much gossip! The second someone left, people would just spill all the tea about the person even if you were the most casual acquaintance. This was across age groups, people associated with the college, people who were in the K-12 schools, people in businesses. Even if you were a regular at a bar or coffee shop, you'd hear gossip about all the other customers. It wasn't mean-spirited---it was just everything was fair game. I never knew so much about people that they didn't tell me directly. I remember when I first moved there, being stunned in a meeting where a woman got up to go to the bathroom and someone else commented on how much she (the person who left) suffered from ovarian cysts, and someone else commented on how getting pregnant might help her, and then someone else talked about how hard she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant, and they started talking about her weight gain and how they thought maybe she was pregnant finally but "false alarm" etc. and it went on from there all in these hushed tones, but audible to the group of like 8-10 people. And no one blinked or indicated this was TMI/not work-appropriate, but all went quiet the second she came back in the room. And the two years I lived there, it just continued like that--everyone was really all up in everyone's business but rarely talked about it directly with them--just with all their friends and acquaintances. The gossip level seemed at least 10x what I was used to. I had to cure myself of it a bit when I moved back East.

I'm not sure if it's more general or just a quirk of my time in the town, but my now-husband is from the Midwest and his calls from his mom are basically an endless stream of gossip about people he doesn't know, so I'm guessing it might be a more general theme.

[Anonymous]

We recently lock our key in the car during a trip in the midwest. No one in the gas station offered any help or even appeared to care. Using google I called several places and it was too far for them. Luckily a west coast tech company has a website that lets you prepay and find a contractor for you. A few clicks on the phone and a credit car did the trick.

Personally I feel more comfortable and at ease here and in NYC/Boston than the mid west.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always found this tweet to be accurate:

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/jordan-green-whe...west-coast-tLkrwtOK9

I don't know much about the south, but I definitely prefer the way people in the northeast help out while minding their own business.

Jordan Green: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

New Yorkers will not say a single nice word for 15 minutes, whole time they're shoveling your car out of the snow for you

Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.

The East Coast is more than NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always found this tweet to be accurate:

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/jordan-green-whe...west-coast-tLkrwtOK9

I don't know much about the south, but I definitely prefer the way people in the northeast help out while minding their own business.

Jordan Green: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

New Yorkers will not say a single nice word for 15 minutes, whole time they're shoveling your car out of the snow for you

Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.

The narcissism of New Yorkers is always astonishing to watch in person.

I don't know, I once got on a bus in NYC when I was visiting from out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the hotel room and a passenger stood up and announced that they were taking up a collection for me and a bunch of passengers dug into the pockets and purses and handed this guy coins all while barely acknowledging him or looking up from whatever they were reading. I've had a soft spot for New Yorkers ever since.

Living in NYC, I had the strongest "neighborhood" feel out of everywhere I lived --I knew all the shop-owners, my neighbors in the apartment building and just walking around, and they did more nice things for me than anywhere else. I felt similar when I lived in Madison, WI, where people would just really help you out. But one really strange thing there was I never experienced so much gossip! The second someone left, people would just spill all the tea about the person even if you were the most casual acquaintance. This was across age groups, people associated with the college, people who were in the K-12 schools, people in businesses. Even if you were a regular at a bar or coffee shop, you'd hear gossip about all the other customers. It wasn't mean-spirited---it was just everything was fair game. I never knew so much about people that they didn't tell me directly. I remember when I first moved there, being stunned in a meeting where a woman got up to go to the bathroom and someone else commented on how much she (the person who left) suffered from ovarian cysts, and someone else commented on how getting pregnant might help her, and then someone else talked about how hard she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant, and they started talking about her weight gain and how they thought maybe she was pregnant finally but "false alarm" etc. and it went on from there all in these hushed tones, but audible to the group of like 8-10 people. And no one blinked or indicated this was TMI/not work-appropriate, but all went quiet the second she came back in the room. And the two years I lived there, it just continued like that--everyone was really all up in everyone's business but rarely talked about it directly with them--just with all their friends and acquaintances. The gossip level seemed at least 10x what I was used to. I had to cure myself of it a bit when I moved back East.

I'm not sure if it's more general or just a quirk of my time in the town, but my now-husband is from the Midwest and his calls from his mom are basically an endless stream of gossip about people he doesn't know, so I'm guessing it might be a more general theme.

Did you live in Manhattan?

[Anonymous]

It's certainly just an anecdote, but we experienced more random, friendly interactions when touring our child's midwest LAC than the other half dozen or so visited schools put together. That's not the main reason they ultimately chose that school, but it was a factor. They did continue to feel the community was particularly friendly after attending, based on hosting friends from other schools as well as visiting them at those places. That said, this is a very personal thing. What people consider friendly and how much importance that holds to them will understandably vary quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always found this tweet to be accurate:

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/jordan-green-whe...west-coast-tLkrwtOK9

I don't know much about the south, but I definitely prefer the way people in the northeast help out while minding their own business.

Jordan Green: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

New Yorkers will not say a single nice word for 15 minutes, whole time they're shoveling your car out of the snow for you

Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.

The narcissism of New Yorkers is always astonishing to watch in person.

I don't know, I once got on a bus in NYC when I was visiting from out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the hotel room and a passenger stood up and announced that they were taking up a collection for me and a bunch of passengers dug into the pockets and purses and handed this guy coins all while barely acknowledging him or looking up from whatever they were reading. I've had a soft spot for New Yorkers ever since.

Living in NYC, I had the strongest "neighborhood" feel out of everywhere I lived --I knew all the shop-owners, my neighbors in the apartment building and just walking around, and they did more nice things for me than anywhere else. I felt similar when I lived in Madison, WI, where people would just really help you out. But one really strange thing there was I never experienced so much gossip! The second someone left, people would just spill all the tea about the person even if you were the most casual acquaintance. This was across age groups, people associated with the college, people who were in the K-12 schools, people in businesses. Even if you were a regular at a bar or coffee shop, you'd hear gossip about all the other customers. It wasn't mean-spirited---it was just everything was fair game. I never knew so much about people that they didn't tell me directly. I remember when I first moved there, being stunned in a meeting where a woman got up to go to the bathroom and someone else commented on how much she (the person who left) suffered from ovarian cysts, and someone else commented on how getting pregnant might help her, and then someone else talked about how hard she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant, and they started talking about her weight gain and how they thought maybe she was pregnant finally but "false alarm" etc. and it went on from there all in these hushed tones, but audible to the group of like 8-10 people. And no one blinked or indicated this was TMI/not work-appropriate, but all went quiet the second she came back in the room. And the two years I lived there, it just continued like that--everyone was really all up in everyone's business but rarely talked about it directly with them--just with all their friends and acquaintances. The gossip level seemed at least 10x what I was used to. I had to cure myself of it a bit when I moved back East.

I'm not sure if it's more general or just a quirk of my time in the town, but my now-husband is from the Midwest and his calls from his mom are basically an endless stream of gossip about people he doesn't know, so I'm guessing it might be a more general theme.

Did you live in Manhattan?

Yes, lower east side for a few years--moved to Brooklyn after having a kid that didn't fit in our apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough to tell if Boston people are inherently harsh, or whether they pick it up from generations of New Yorkers going to college there. Regardless of what their transcript says, when New Yorkers spend 4 years in Boston, they usually major in comparing Boston to New York and complaining about the absence of places to get a decent corned beef sandwich at 3 a.m.

I was a Boston-area local at a college in Boston. We were so grateful to our friends to the southwest for taking the time out of their busy schedules to point out every conceivable way in which New York was better than Boston. Their generosity in helping us identify areas for improvement was noticed and admired by others, especially the gentle souls from the Garden State, who — fortunately for us — picked up the habit of endlessly comparing Boston to NY.

Hysterical!! And true.

Signed,
Jersey Gentle Soul

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's certainly just an anecdote, but we experienced more random, friendly interactions when touring our child's midwest LAC than the other half dozen or so visited schools put together. That's not the main reason they ultimately chose that school, but it was a factor. They did continue to feel the community was particularly friendly after attending, based on hosting friends from other schools as well as visiting them at those places. That said, this is a very personal thing. What people consider friendly and how much importance that holds to them will understandably vary quite a bit.

Everything here is just anecdotes. But people make judgments based on their personal experiences. When touring colleges, the nicest kids we met were at Notre Dame, McGill, Rice, and Vanderbilt. The most surly and unpleasant kids were at Columbia.

I went to school in New England. So I'm not unfamiliar with the Northeast. But I can see why young folks don't choose that anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's certainly just an anecdote, but we experienced more random, friendly interactions when touring our child's midwest LAC than the other half dozen or so visited schools put together. That's not the main reason they ultimately chose that school, but it was a factor. They did continue to feel the community was particularly friendly after attending, based on hosting friends from other schools as well as visiting them at those places. That said, this is a very personal thing. What people consider friendly and how much importance that holds to them will understandably vary quite a bit.

Everything here is just anecdotes. But people make judgments based on their personal experiences. When touring colleges, the nicest kids we met were at Notre Dame, McGill, Rice, and Vanderbilt. The most surly and unpleasant kids were at Columbia.

I went to school in New England. So I'm not unfamiliar with the Northeast. But I can see why young folks don't choose that anymore.

I love how people just keep asserting this same untrue fact. Saying it won't make it so. They are still choosing it just as much if not more than ever. The schools just can't accommodate them all hence their very low acceptance rates.