Is it fair to brainwash our children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the how useful it is for humans to have morality and love of God but find it questionable to teach kids about just one religion because that's what I was taught by my parents who were taught by theirs.

I wonder if as parents its our responsibility to introduce them to all major religions, as well as concepts of agnosticism and atheism?

This seems like a very Christian-centered view. We're Jewish. We don't "brainwash" our children at all. We teach and expose them the traditions of our ancestors. We're reform - I struggle with my idea of god and my husband doesn't believe in god at all. That's completely accepted in our synagogue and community. And we live in America where Jews make up 2% of the population and Christians make up 63% and completely dominate culturally so they learn plenty about that.

Same over here. I'm not a practicing Jew, as in I don't believe in God and don't really follow kosher laws, but I sent my son to Hebrew school and all that. He calls himself an atheist, although I certainly never tried to make him one. People in general do not understand what it means to be Jewish, and usually assume it's just being Christian.

[Anonymous]

i think faith is a gift we give to our children. i'm glad my parents gave it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the how useful it is for humans to have morality and love of God but find it questionable to teach kids about just one religion because that's what I was taught by my parents who were taught by theirs.

I wonder if as parents its our responsibility to introduce them to all major religions, as well as concepts of agnosticism and atheism?

This seems like a very Christian-centered view. We're Jewish. We don't "brainwash" our children at all. We teach and expose them the traditions of our ancestors. We're reform - I struggle with my idea of god and my husband doesn't believe in god at all. That's completely accepted in our synagogue and community. And we live in America where Jews make up 2% of the population and Christians make up 63% and completely dominate culturally so they learn plenty about that.

Same over here. I'm not a practicing Jew, as in I don't believe in God and don't really follow kosher laws, but I sent my son to Hebrew school and all that. He calls himself an atheist, although I certainly never tried to make him one. People in general do not understand what it means to be Jewish, and usually assume it's just being Christian.

What I don’t understand is can you be Jewish without following essential Judaism laws ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think faith is a gift we give to our children. i'm glad my parents gave it to me.

I'm not saying you were brainwashed to think that, but answer this:

What would be different if you WERE brainwashed to think that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You didn't answer who else teach morals directly
or indirectly except religion.

Uhhh...

...parents...

...teachers...

...peers...

...most people in society by example...? (some by negative example)

We're all in this, man. There is no instruction book. Many religions teach a lot of stuff most people find highly immoral.

Yes, but all of them are influenced by religion.

DP. Not in my area.

What area?

Liberal area with many educated people. Many didn't grow up with religion.

Religious traditions and values are already baked in the societies culture.

Religion doesn't own "be kind to others". In fact, in 2023 it really isn't teaching that at all.

And, yes, I guess we do all push the Santa/Easter bunny thing. So thanks for that influence - we always have fun with those.

This is a bold blanket statement to make about all religions. Judaism has a huge focus on "love your neighbor" and "Tikkun Olam (repairing the world)" as a major part of everyday practice. The "Golden Rule" (treat others as you'd like to be treated") comes from Hillel's teaching "That which is hateful to you, do not do to others." I'm sure there are plenty of other religions that are "really" teaching kindness too, which is not to say that non-religious people aren't also teaching it, but it's not productive to paint with a broad brush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't answer who else teach morals directly
or indirectly except religion.

Uhhh...

...parents...

...teachers...

...peers...

...most people in society by example...? (some by negative example)

We're all in this, man. There is no instruction book. Many religions teach a lot of stuff most people find highly immoral.

Yes, but all of them are influenced by religion.

DP. Not in my area.

What area?

Liberal area with many educated people. Many didn't grow up with religion.

Religious traditions and values are already baked in the societies culture.

Religion doesn't own "be kind to others". In fact, in 2023 it really isn't teaching that at all.

And, yes, I guess we do all push the Santa/Easter bunny thing. So thanks for that influence - we always have fun with those.

This is a bold blanket statement to make about all religions. Judaism has a huge focus on "love your neighbor" and "Tikkun Olam (repairing the world)" as a major part of everyday practice. The "Golden Rule" (treat others as you'd like to be treated") comes from Hillel's teaching "That which is hateful to you, do not do to others." I'm sure there are plenty of other religions that are "really" teaching kindness too, which is not to say that non-religious people aren't also teaching it, but it's not productive to paint with a broad brush.

Fair enough. I’ll add: …in 2023, the loudest and most influential religions in the US aren’t really teaching that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't answer who else teach morals directly
or indirectly except religion.

Uhhh...

...parents...

...teachers...

...peers...

...most people in society by example...? (some by negative example)

We're all in this, man. There is no instruction book. Many religions teach a lot of stuff most people find highly immoral.

Yes, but all of them are influenced by religion.

DP. Not in my area.

What area?

Liberal area with many educated people. Many didn't grow up with religion.

Religious traditions and values are already baked in the societies culture.

+1

liberal area poster has a comfy bubble on a platform created by Judeo-Christian values and doesn’t realize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't answer who else teach morals directly
or indirectly except religion.

Uhhh...

...parents...

...teachers...

...peers...

...most people in society by example...? (some by negative example)

We're all in this, man. There is no instruction book. Many religions teach a lot of stuff most people find highly immoral.

Yes, but all of them are influenced by religion.

DP. Not in my area.

What area?

Liberal area with many educated people. Many didn't grow up with religion.

Religious traditions and values are already baked in the societies culture.

+1

liberal area poster has a comfy bubble on a platform created by Judeo-Christian values and doesn’t realize it.

Religion doesn't invent kindness.

It did invent some fun traditions we enjoy though - Easter bunny, etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

Can't see that it's helpful to a child to insist that they believe in a supernatural being who lives in the sky and judges them.

Do you insist that they believe in Santa Claus? When they stop believing in Santa, do you get upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

Can't see that it's helpful to a child to insist that they believe in a supernatural being who lives in the sky and judges them.

Do you insist that they believe in Santa Claus? When they stop believing in Santa, do you get upset?

Another atheist who is so very invested in how other people raise their kids. Why do you care?

I just don’t see how anyone has time or mental space to worry about how others live their lives. You don’t have enough going on in your own life?

Atheists posting here cannot stop thinking about other people’s lives and beliefs. It’s weird. Bored old ladies do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

The thing about religions, is that they are not just views or information, they are beliefs. Beliefs in beings that do not have a basis in reality. Religion includes believe in beings that are supernatural, like fairies - that kids believe in only when they are small and are discouraged to believe in when they get older. However, in some religions, they are taught that if they don't continue believing in those beings, and worshipping those beings, that they will suffer for eternity.

Meanwhile,you can teach your children morals completely separate from religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

Can't see that it's helpful to a child to insist that they believe in a supernatural being who lives in the sky and judges them.

Do you insist that they believe in Santa Claus? When they stop believing in Santa, do you get upset?

Another atheist who is so very invested in how other people raise their kids. Why do you care?

I just don’t see how anyone has time or mental space to worry about how others live their lives. You don’t have enough going on in your own life?

Atheists posting here cannot stop thinking about other people’s lives and beliefs. It’s weird. Bored old ladies do that.

People care about a lot of things outside their own lives -- like the environment, and guns and wars and famines. Nothing weird about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think faith is a gift we give to our children. i'm glad my parents gave it to me.

Sometimes kids get gifts they don't want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding this question hard to process. Parenting isn’t about being fair. Presumably parents know more than their kids, so while they may listen to a reasonable argument, the parent’s vote has to outweigh the child’s. Parenting obligates us to pass along our values and experience to our kids, teaching them to make good choices and avoid bad ones. Sometimes, inevitably, we’ll be wrong. We “brainwash” our children to:

eat vegetables even if it doesn’t taste as good as chocolate ice cream
not to hit people when they get mad
to do their work before play
to treat others with courtesy, respect, and hopefully some kindness
to tell the truth, even when it gets them in trouble
not to steal
etc.

Whatever your religious views (or lack thereof) are, presumably you feel that those are the views that promise the best outcome while avoiding the bad ones. That may mean going to heaven instead of going to hell, not falling for a lot of “superstitious nonsense”, etc. Whatever your beliefs about religion may be, they strike at fundamental questions and potentially have profound implications. If you truly believe in heaven and hell, would you not do everything you can to see your child end up spending eternity in paradise rather than never-ending torment, not to mention finding spiritual comfort during their life? If you believe something else, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to ensure the best outcome for your child?

So is it fair to brainwash our children about religion? of course not
Is it right to brainwash our children about religion? If a parent truly believes their religion will help their child and not passing along those beliefs will hurt the child, then they have a duty to share that viewpoint with their child.

Ultimately, whatever you teach the child, they’ll eventually make their own decisions, on everything. All a parent can do is pass on the best information they have to a child and hope it’s helpful.

Much more eloquent than I am but this was what I was going to say. All of us as parents are supposed to teach our children our morals and values and beliefs. Whether that’s questions of faith (or lack thereof), our views on political and global issues, or even valuing nutrition or exercise. You might call any of it brainwashing.

As kids get older they will be exposed to alternative views, partly by the world and maybe also by their parents but until then you need to provide some structure of thought from which to grow.