Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the sharing dorm rooms is ridiculous (my kids never spoke to their freshman year roommates after move-out) but I get it. Space concerns aside, if every freshman had a single a lot of suicides, overdoses, depression & social withdrawal would go completely unnoticed.

So far this is the only post that mentions one of the most basic (potential) benefits of room-sharing: a possible safety net. Yes, there will always be people who don't notice or care what their roommate is doing, but many kids would realize if their roommate hadn't been seen for a day or two, or was on a downward personal spiral, and some will follow it up with a compassionate conversation or a question to the RA. Yes, there will be fellow readers here on this board who don't see that as offsetting the innumerable inconveniences and annoyances of forced proximity in a small space, but regardless of whether people are living in doubles, singles, or suites, we need to teach students the value of community care. A kid doesn't need to be - and shouldn't be - responsible _for_ their roommate, but they can learn to be responsible _towards_ their roommate. That kind of elemental sensitivity towards others is an aspirational value of adulthood.

--College prof

Good Lord. This is a function of parents, social workers & RAs, not a student.

Correct, and there is a high chance that a student might alert an RA if they notice that their roommate hasn’t gotten out of bed in 5 days.

With kids using swipe cards to get into their rooms, into the dorm and to buy food, using AI to track card usage is another way to see if someone isn't going out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the sharing dorm rooms is ridiculous (my kids never spoke to their freshman year roommates after move-out) but I get it. Space concerns aside, if every freshman had a single a lot of suicides, overdoses, depression & social withdrawal would go completely unnoticed.

So far this is the only post that mentions one of the most basic (potential) benefits of room-sharing: a possible safety net. Yes, there will always be people who don't notice or care what their roommate is doing, but many kids would realize if their roommate hadn't been seen for a day or two, or was on a downward personal spiral, and some will follow it up with a compassionate conversation or a question to the RA. Yes, there will be fellow readers here on this board who don't see that as offsetting the innumerable inconveniences and annoyances of forced proximity in a small space, but regardless of whether people are living in doubles, singles, or suites, we need to teach students the value of community care. A kid doesn't need to be - and shouldn't be - responsible _for_ their roommate, but they can learn to be responsible _towards_ their roommate. That kind of elemental sensitivity towards others is an aspirational value of adulthood.

--College prof

Good Lord. This is a function of parents, social workers & RAs, not a student.

Correct, and there is a high chance that a student might alert an RA if they notice that their roommate hasn’t gotten out of bed in 5 days.

This

[Anonymous]

Has anyone mentioned commuting from home?

I live in a different economic sphere than many on here & students still do that. My co-workers daughter does because of her perceived potential issues with a roommate.

Seems like a lot of colleges have a lack of housing for freshman so a roommate is standard.

My own daughter had issues with her freshman roommate last year due to a disconnect on cleanliness. They're friends now but last year was rough. My daughter was the clean one & I think her working on her tolerance for things that annoyed her has been one of her best college lessons.

[Anonymous]

Then she should be going to community college for a year, and then transferring and getting an apartment. She WILL have a roommate.

[Anonymous]

Princeton had some freshmen in singles, at least in my day. I assume it still does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then she should be going to community college for a year, and then transferring and getting an apartment. She WILL have a roommate.

Good lord. No.

[Anonymous]

Parents of HFA: how did your son/daughter do in this college application round if they are very strong academically? Did they mention hfa in essays?

[Anonymous]

OP people are being mean as usual. Some dorm rooms are so tiny even a saint would get annoyed. Haverford is a rich school and I’m sure they have singles. Most people had “allergies” and the school gave them singles. My DS had a vague but awful problem got a single no problem. I think putting two strangers in those very tiny rooms is not beneficial. Just makes money for the college.

[Anonymous]

The LACs that offer freshmen singles balance that out with being small and hands-on. If you’re at, say, Haverford or Williams (mentioned in this thread as offering singles) and miss a class multiple times, someone is going to notice & possibly help remedy the issue. It’s hard to hide in such an environment.

[Anonymous]

Singles were rare when I was at Harvard. I did know one guy who had one though. In the little essay we all had to write after admission about what kind of roommate were wanted, he wrote simply, "I like to masturbate a lot. I want a roommate who's cool with that." It's a strategy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she handle it? We need more information. Sharing a room is great way to become more considerate, empathetic, kind, etc. Plus, it helps things go more smoothly when you get married or move in with your significant other.

As much as I fret for DD's room mate, bunking with someone else has been good for her. While she is still fairly slovenly, she has improved. Fortunately, she is a considerate (in other ways!), empathetic kid, so she is very supportive of her room mate, her sleep schedule, her sports team, etc.

DS has been in a triple with one great room mate and one who is fairly passive aggressive. It's been a struggle for DS and the great room mate v the other, but the year is nearly done and he made it. We weren't sure if that would happen but has been a good learning experience for him.

[Anonymous]

There are many kids who may need a single for medical or other real reasons. It would be helpful for others reading the thread if, instead of questioning OP's reasons and criticizing them and their child, people would just offer suggestions. (Yes, some have done that, but many have not).

Yes, medical reasons may get a freshman a single, but I have heard that isn't always honored and you may not know until too late. Or the only singles are in an upperclass dorm and isolate the freshman.

It would be nice to have a suggestions of schools that handle this well - singles for freshman (whether medical or not) and those that have handled it poorly (not granting them or isolating the student).

I know some schools (I believe UT Dallas and UA Huntsville, for example) offer the suite style arrangement for freshman. Names of others that do that (someone said WUSTL above) would be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the sharing dorm rooms is ridiculous (my kids never spoke to their freshman year roommates after move-out) but I get it. Space concerns aside, if every freshman had a single a lot of suicides, overdoses, depression & social withdrawal would go completely unnoticed.

So far this is the only post that mentions one of the most basic (potential) benefits of room-sharing: a possible safety net. Yes, there will always be people who don't notice or care what their roommate is doing, but many kids would realize if their roommate hadn't been seen for a day or two, or was on a downward personal spiral, and some will follow it up with a compassionate conversation or a question to the RA. Yes, there will be fellow readers here on this board who don't see that as offsetting the innumerable inconveniences and annoyances of forced proximity in a small space, but regardless of whether people are living in doubles, singles, or suites, we need to teach students the value of community care. A kid doesn't need to be - and shouldn't be - responsible _for_ their roommate, but they can learn to be responsible _towards_ their roommate. That kind of elemental sensitivity towards others is an aspirational value of adulthood.

--College prof

Good Lord. This is a function of parents, social workers & RAs, not a student.

Correct, and there is a high chance that a student might alert an RA if they notice that their roommate hasn’t gotten out of bed in 5 days.

This

OP will speak to her DD several times a day so this is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

There is no smoking or burning of candles/incense allowed in dorms. It's a fire hazard. The rest of the stuff she just needs to get over. It's important to learn to compromise with a roommate and talk through disagreements. It's a skill that will serve her well in life.

[Anonymous]

A friend’s daughter got a single her freshman year at UNC. She had no health reason, but she wanted one and was able to get one by request (and paying more).