People who are born on third yet act like they worked "so hard" for something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Or to just have a home near jobs. If I had failed in NYC after graduation and had to move home, it would have been to rural SC and zero job opportunities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be born privileged and also work hard. The two are not mutually exclusive

Of course. You can also be born NOT privileged, work even harder, and wind up with a lot less.

That's why it's obnoxious for people to emphasize their hard work as the reason for their success and glide right over an inheritance or a job they got through nepotism or even the gift of graduating from school debt free due to parent contributions or being able to live at home. Hard work alone is not enough for most people.

When they say that they are probably comparing themselves to their peers, folks who started off with similar level of privilege. Like, I’ve never thought about it before this post, but I did better than many of my HS classmates and the children of my parents’ friends.

Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Yeah, having a good relationship with your parents and them having the space to house you so that you can save money, pay off student loans, etc without paying rent is absolutely 100% a privilege.

I mean having that safety net is higher than people in poverty but it's not a privilege that people born on third would view as a privilege. It's more like a perk.

that's literally the point. It is a privilege to know that you have a safety net for so many things in life

yes but like someone said there are levels to it. The people I work with are UMC kids that went to private schools, moved into an apartment (haven't lived with their parents since like 18), eventually got married, had their parents help them buy a home etc. sure it is a privilege to live at home but that is not the kind of "third base" the OP is talking about. Living at home to pay off loans or save is like basic middle class privilege. Even poor people live in multi generational households.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Bolded is entirely within mom and dad’s control. Don’t be an abusive parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Or to just have a home near jobs. If I had failed in NYC after graduation and had to move home, it would have been to rural SC and zero job opportunities

+1. Even if a remote job, imagine trying to work from home in some fleabag tiny apartment in a terrible neighborhood, with mom and her junkie deadbeat boyfriend. That's a reality for many truly poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Don’t lecture me about privilege; I’m from a former coal town in the rust belt. There, everyone under 26 lives with their parents in a multi generational household. And of course poor people own homes. There are plenty of homeowners there who work at JcPenney’s as their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Or to just have a home near jobs. If I had failed in NYC after graduation and had to move home, it would have been to rural SC and zero job opportunities

+1. Even if a remote job, imagine trying to work from home in some fleabag tiny apartment in a terrible neighborhood, with mom and her junkie deadbeat boyfriend. That's a reality for many truly poor.

Be a good parent if you want your kids to have opportunities. Don’t date junkie deadbeats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Bolded is entirely within mom and dad’s control. Don’t be an abusive parent.

The point is that's a reality for many poor families. A working class 22 year old can't choose their family. If you are able to circle back to a nice home with no drama, no drug or mental illness issues in the house, a safe and quiet neighborhood, a warm bed in a spacious bedroom, stocked fridge, high-speed internet access -- that's all a privilege most actually poor 22 year olds don't have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

Bolded is entirely within mom and dad’s control. Don’t be an abusive parent.

The point is that's a reality for many poor families. A working class 22 year old can't choose their family. If you are able to circle back to a nice home with no drama, no drug or mental illness issues in the house, a safe and quiet neighborhood, a warm bed in a spacious bedroom, stocked fridge, high-speed internet access -- that's all a privilege most actually poor 22 year olds don't have.

A 22 year old is an adult by that point. Life is easy but it’s way easier in the US than in most countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is true. I was born into a (non-white) UMC professional educated family and have ascended to UC or close to it I guess. I work damn hard but my parents have helped me so much by raising me well, inspiring me, paying for college, and providing a safety net if I ever need one. I kind of worry for my kids… are they going to have it too easy?

I’m same as you. Next gen takes foot off the gas. We have two adult kids
who were raised with no resource to spare. Both doing well but not where
both of us were at their respective ages - professionally, with personal life and otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Do you know what is really unfair?

Working very hard for your 200k income and your spouse or sibling or neighbor puts in half the effort for the same income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being able to live at home is a privilege? I thought being able to afford to live away from home was the privilege. Silly me.

Anonymous wrote:+1000 rich kids aren’t living at home or commuting anywhere.

This is fascinating. You MC and UMC malcontents don't realize how privileged you actually are if you think boomeranging back home after college into a comfortable house isn't a privilege. Poor families literally don't own homes, they rent crappy small apartments and terrible slum lord houses, maybe mom or dad is on narcotics, maybe mentally ill, maybe mom or dad or mom or dad is dating someone who is physically abusive, maybe the utilities get cut off once in a while, forget about having high-speed internet, the fridge is empty, the neighborhood is likely dangerous and/or nowhere near a good economy, there isn't an extra (maybe literally not one) reliable car in the driveway for you to use to get to work and run errands.

To be able to circle back to a cozy house in a nice area with warm stable parents and a stocked fridge is absolutely a privilege.

It’s your privilege that is showing, where you leapt to poor people = mom on narcotics and abusive boyfriend. People cannot be poor otherwise, right? The face of poverty is only junkies with abusive boyfriends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

To be fair, he actually did? Perfect GPA at Georgetown Prep, 17x/180 LSAT score, 3.7+ Yale GPA, editor of Yale Law Journal.

+1 I'm no fan but plenty of ppl begin just as privileged and no they don't work as hard and they don't end up as successful. I see this said of Sheryl Sandberg as well. You can be born lucky and still accomplish a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

This attitude bothers me and I am married to someone who claimed he never went to an elite prep school even though he went to Exteter (THE elite prep school) and that he got into Harvard on his own merits even though he is a legacy. You worked hard, but you started on third. Just imagine for a second if you started on first and you worked as hard as you did... you might have ended up on third. You are def. a nepo baby!

Why did you marry him if he lies and you are so bothered by his claims?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

To be fair, he actually did? Perfect GPA at Georgetown Prep, 17x/180 LSAT score, 3.7+ Yale GPA, editor of Yale Law Journal.

+1 I'm no fan but plenty of ppl begin just as privileged and no they don't work as hard and they don't end up as successful. I see this said of Sheryl Sandberg as well. You can be born lucky and still accomplish a lot.

Yes, but the opposite is also true: Many, many people begin without privilege and work just as hard as people born with privilege and are never able to get as far. Those of us born lucky should remember that part.