The Research on Various Childcare Options

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who put their kids in a low-quality daycare will use every justification under the sun for doing it, perform intricate mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their children turned out better than if they had put them in a higher quality care situation. Just own that you had kids for the wrong reasons and couldn't afford to care for them properly.

And…people who are SAHMs also do mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their children will be extraordinary and giving up their career is just so worth it. And people with nannies are just brimming with confidence that their children will turn out WAY better than the low lifes who had to put their kids in daycare, aka jail.

If you cannot afford a nanny or top-tier care center or have a close relative mind your children, then you basically had kids just to check of a box on a list of "grown up stuff" to do and you don't really care about the aftermath of the choice. Gotta have them kids so you can say look at me I had kids.

Omg you are so crazy. What tf did your parents do to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who put their kids in a low-quality daycare will use every justification under the sun for doing it, perform intricate mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their children turned out better than if they had put them in a higher quality care situation. Just own that you had kids for the wrong reasons and couldn't afford to care for them properly.

And…people who are SAHMs also do mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their children will be extraordinary and giving up their career is just so worth it. And people with nannies are just brimming with confidence that their children will turn out WAY better than the low lifes who had to put their kids in daycare, aka jail.

If you cannot afford a nanny or top-tier care center or have a close relative mind your children, then you basically had kids just to check of a box on a list of "grown up stuff" to do and you don't really care about the aftermath of the choice. Gotta have them kids so you can say look at me I had kids.

I can afford both but this comment still makes me so angry LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These topics are difficult to discuss in mom forums (like this one) because people feel judged for the choices they make/made.

But let's assume you had access to any childcare option. There's no monetary constraint. You have loving grandparents who want to be caretakers for your infant. You have found the Mary Poppins of baby nannies and the cost is no big deal to you. How many would still choose center-based care for an infant?

Most of these findings line up with my intuitive feelings as a mom whose been through this a couple of times. But I didn't have infinite financial resources, we didn't have grandparents who lived nearby, the US does not grant a year or two years of parental leave, so we did the best we could.

I don't know, I mean I think there are valid questions to be asked about the research. I mean just saying that people don't want to hear what you are saying, doesn't make what you are saying right.

This whole thing about cortisol in kids in daycare strikes me as really disingenuous fearmongering. Cortisol levels vary based on sleep patterns. A lot of kids nap at daycare and don't nap at home. So if you compare weekday level cortisol level patterns to weekends (which is what most of the studies do), you'll see a difference. Is it because daycare is a dystopia of stressed out young children? Maybe but I'm not convinced. It's funny because one of the few studies that actually compares kids that stay at home to kids that go to daycare found that the kids at home had higher cortisol levels. Then suddenly they mention the benefits of daycare - consistent schedules - which are really good for young kids' stress levels.

Yep. In daycare my kid is constantly engaging with other kids and toys he doesn't have at home. At home he gets bored, asks me to be super engaged with playing with him all the time, and wants to watch TV and whines when I say no.

This doesn’t make me want to send my child to daycare. I’d be worried about the constant stimuli and noise. Your poor child never gets a break from other kids, movement, noise etc. I understand that kids have siblings but daycare is on another level. I’d be concerned if your child is acting like this at home. You can almost tell daycare kids because they are always work out and over stimulated.

There are Family daycares that has spaces/rooms for children that feel overstimulsted.

Shhh it's called the quiet rooms

Usually it has pillows, books, not much posters, it's a safe area. Parents finds Daycares that can help thier kids who has disabilities. Many providers are trained. Kids like adhd needs small groups or a nanny.

Normal people need a bit of peace in their days. Especially kids who have growing brains and are taking in everything. We have whole generations of kids who are overstimulated, completely reactive and not adequately rested and then we wonder why kids are so messed up?

Did you know Family Chikd Care homes and Child Care Centers have quiet rooms for kids who feel overstimulated?

Clearly you don't. Not every place is the same. Not every priest is a pedo.
Usually child abuse, sexual abuse happens more times in households and from a close relative

You don’t know much about kids. There’s overstimulated and freaking out and there’s the kid who is overstimulated in that they are on the receiving end of constant stimuli. Just because the kid isn’t melting down doesn’t mean it isn’t good for them. Their brains are literally being wired and they need time to process everything they are taking in. If you don’t do this you see what we are seeing more and more in schools - kids who can’t self regulate, kids who cannot create, kids who cannot be still or alone.

Did you know Family Daycares and Child Care Centers have a quiet room for kids who feel overstimulated?..

Clearly you don't. Before enrolling your kid ask first?
Better look yourself into the mirror. You don't know about early child development at all.

Children needs to interact, socialize with others and not just siblings. There's cases of kids who stayed home long time and just cries at everything and doesn't want to sociolize

Children at home or with a nanny still socialize. Children typically start preschool at 3 or 4.

I know you really support and believe in daycare, but very few people who stayed at home or hired a nanny will agree with you. It’s essentially institutionalizing children. Most people with means don’t want to drop their kid off in the morning and have them nap and spend all of their time with a bunch of low wage workers in one room. I’m sure most daycare kids are fine, but it’s not something most people want for their children. You’re likely used to it and don’t see how bad it looks to many of us.

Do you think the royal family dropped off prince George at daycare at five months and up so he could make sure to socialize? Of course not. He has his mom and FT nannies at home. Because most people with means prefer a young helpless child to be at home during their very early years.

Is that really supposed to be a data point to.emulate? Harry would have probably been better off spending all day at daycare, per his own book about his family.

This made me LOL. Because the royals have a history of raising well-adjusted children, right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These topics are difficult to discuss in mom forums (like this one) because people feel judged for the choices they make/made.

But let's assume you had access to any childcare option. There's no monetary constraint. You have loving grandparents who want to be caretakers for your infant. You have found the Mary Poppins of baby nannies and the cost is no big deal to you. How many would still choose center-based care for an infant?

Most of these findings line up with my intuitive feelings as a mom whose been through this a couple of times. But I didn't have infinite financial resources, we didn't have grandparents who lived nearby, the US does not grant a year or two years of parental leave, so we did the best we could.

I don't know, I mean I think there are valid questions to be asked about the research. I mean just saying that people don't want to hear what you are saying, doesn't make what you are saying right.

This whole thing about cortisol in kids in daycare strikes me as really disingenuous fearmongering. Cortisol levels vary based on sleep patterns. A lot of kids nap at daycare and don't nap at home. So if you compare weekday level cortisol level patterns to weekends (which is what most of the studies do), you'll see a difference. Is it because daycare is a dystopia of stressed out young children? Maybe but I'm not convinced. It's funny because one of the few studies that actually compares kids that stay at home to kids that go to daycare found that the kids at home had higher cortisol levels. Then suddenly they mention the benefits of daycare - consistent schedules - which are really good for young kids' stress levels.

Yep. In daycare my kid is constantly engaging with other kids and toys he doesn't have at home. At home he gets bored, asks me to be super engaged with playing with him all the time, and wants to watch TV and whines when I say no.

This doesn’t make me want to send my child to daycare. I’d be worried about the constant stimuli and noise. Your poor child never gets a break from other kids, movement, noise etc. I understand that kids have siblings but daycare is on another level. I’d be concerned if your child is acting like this at home. You can almost tell daycare kids because they are always work out and over stimulated.

There are Family daycares that has spaces/rooms for children that feel overstimulsted.

Shhh it's called the quiet rooms

Usually it has pillows, books, not much posters, it's a safe area. Parents finds Daycares that can help thier kids who has disabilities. Many providers are trained. Kids like adhd needs small groups or a nanny.

Normal people need a bit of peace in their days. Especially kids who have growing brains and are taking in everything. We have whole generations of kids who are overstimulated, completely reactive and not adequately rested and then we wonder why kids are so messed up?

Did you know Family Chikd Care homes and Child Care Centers have quiet rooms for kids who feel overstimulated?

Clearly you don't. Not every place is the same. Not every priest is a pedo.
Usually child abuse, sexual abuse happens more times in households and from a close relative

You don’t know much about kids. There’s overstimulated and freaking out and there’s the kid who is overstimulated in that they are on the receiving end of constant stimuli. Just because the kid isn’t melting down doesn’t mean it isn’t good for them. Their brains are literally being wired and they need time to process everything they are taking in. If you don’t do this you see what we are seeing more and more in schools - kids who can’t self regulate, kids who cannot create, kids who cannot be still or alone.

Did you know Family Daycares and Child Care Centers have a quiet room for kids who feel overstimulated?..

Clearly you don't. Before enrolling your kid ask first?
Better look yourself into the mirror. You don't know about early child development at all.

Children needs to interact, socialize with others and not just siblings. There's cases of kids who stayed home long time and just cries at everything and doesn't want to sociolize

Children at home or with a nanny still socialize. Children typically start preschool at 3 or 4.

I know you really support and believe in daycare, but very few people who stayed at home or hired a nanny will agree with you. It’s essentially institutionalizing children. Most people with means don’t want to drop their kid off in the morning and have them nap and spend all of their time with a bunch of low wage workers in one room. I’m sure most daycare kids are fine, but it’s not something most people want for their children. You’re likely used to it and don’t see how bad it looks to many of us.

Do you think the royal family dropped off prince George at daycare at five months and up so he could make sure to socialize? Of course not. He has his mom and FT nannies at home. Because most people with means prefer a young helpless child to be at home during their very early years.

Is that really supposed to be a data point to.emulate? Harry would have probably been better off spending all day at daycare, per his own book about his family.

This made me LOL. Because the royals have a history of raising well-adjusted children, right??

It's a wonderful reminder that parenting has the biggest influence on children, much more so than whether they use a SAHM, nanny or daycare.

[Anonymous]

Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

I'm sure you didn't intend this, but it sounds like you are referring to Black and Latino child care teachers as apes, which is super racist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

I'm sure you didn't intend this, but it sounds like you are referring to Black and Latino child care teachers as apes, which is super racist

It only sounds like that to racist people. I didn’t think that at all when I read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

I'm sure you didn't intend this, but it sounds like you are referring to Black and Latino child care teachers as apes, which is super racist

It only sounds like that to racist people. I didn’t think that at all when I read it.

Well in that case I guess it's ok to refer to BIPOC people (we all know, and the PP knows, child care teachers are disproportionately people of color) as apes?

[Anonymous]

BTW if having a nanny means I get to call child care teachers orangutans, then I'm just not sure that is how I want to be raising my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

So by this logic, SAHP provide the worst care because its free you get what you pay for right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went with the option we could afford, which was daycare. My kids turned out fine.

+1

We used an in home daycare where the teachers barely spoke English. That’s all we could afford. Honestly it was amazing.

And I bet your kids were bilingual and were loved immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

Where are you even pulling these numbers from? You know daycares aren't $5K a month right? And you know there are bad SAHP and bad nannies right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

Where are you even pulling these numbers from? You know daycares aren't $5K a month right? And you know there are bad SAHP and bad nannies right?

Accidents can happen with a SAHP, nanny, or pricey exclusive daycare for sure. But they are much more likely to occur at the budget-friendly care centers with too few eyes on too many children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiler alert: putting babies and toddlers into daycare is bad for them.

How that’s seriously a surprise to anyone, I’ll never know.

But still, everyone will justify their actions by saying their kid is “fine” or even “thriving”, because we all do the best we can.

+1 These cheap daycare parents are in a tizzy. You get what you pay for. SAHP and nanny are cosfly, the $5000 a month center is out of budget too, oh but look at this daycare in an abandoned warehouse staffed by orangutans. Only $20 a day? 245 kids per class? That'll do.

So by this logic, SAHP provide the worst care because its free you get what you pay for right?

SAHP isn't free in any sense. You literally sacrifice an income to pay for it.