A plea: please stop sending your sick kids to school

[Anonymous]

Hi, my kids actually "attended" kindergarten via zoom and then attended first grade completely masked with "distancing guidelines" in place that prevented their teachers from helping them learn to write with any kind of hand-over-hand assistance. Now they're in second grade, wonderful readers, smart and pleasant, but they can BARELY WRITE. They were in OT as preschoolers for their fine motor skills but "virtual OT" during 2020/2021- which is what was offered- provided little assistance, as you can imagine.

So if they have a cough and feel fine, they're going to school, because AT SOME POINT THEY NEED TO LEARN THINGS. Sorry, not sorry. And my husband and I both work full time so don't @ me about how I should homeschool them or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, lady, I sent my kid to school in a mask when she was sick so she wouldn't pass her cold on to other kids. Nobody else did that, so we stopped. We've been sick nonstop since September. It's not going to stop. Feel free to keep your own snowflake home, but nobody else is. Deal.

I hope you like subs.

- A teacher who caught Covid at work a month ago and is taking leave once again for some other virus. (And yes, I caught it at work. I’m always at work. I literally go nowhere else.)

NP but I could not care less if my childrens teachers are out sick for 5 days with covid, or 2-3 days with a different illness. That's what sick leave is for and you should use it. If the alternative is keeping my children home for 7-10 days for every single respiratory virus they catch, and therefore attending school maybe one week out of every month, no thanks. At some point people need to just learn to deal with the fact that kids are going to attend school again this year, like in the before times. No one is staying home for 10 days anymore because "it might be covid".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really wish they would stop, but the pandemic exposed how many parents can't stand to be around their children. They are so used to spending less than 5 hours a day with them that they loose it if the kids are home. It's the oddest thing to me because I love being around my kids and know how to parent without outsourcing to teachers and coaches.

They will continue to send sick kids to school. All you can do is make sure your children are eating well, getting enough sleep, being active spending time in the sun and fresh air, and keeping their hands clean.

Unfortunate this is very true.

I actually love my children very deeply and love spending all day with them. However, I'm a physician, and I can't work from home, so yes, i "outsource" their education to the schools, if that's how you want to phrase it, hah. I also "outsource" their soccer to their soccer team and its coach. I didn't realize that it was a sign of neglectful parenting to have your children attend school or play on a sports team, but DCUM is always full of surprises.

And I think almost everyone is in agreement that you shouldn't send kids with active fevers, active vomiting, feeling really ill, etc to school. But if my child is on day 4 of a viral sore throat and otherwise feels and looks fine, yes, they're going to school, and it's absolutely absurd that you think that shouldn't be the case. I have parents occasionally ask me for school notes for their children who have been out sick for like, 9 days, with what appears to be some mild nasal congestion and a RVP coming back for something like rhinovirus. Like, what? No, I'm not going to excuse 9 full days of school for your 10 year old who has rhinovirus. That's your choice, but I'm following actual medical guidelines that say your kid should have been back in school 8 days ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the parents most likely to send their sick kids to school loaded up with Tylenol are doctors and nurses.

Maybe they don't suffer the same paralyzing health anxiety about common cold symptoms. I mean if I have a headache and some sinus congestion, I take a motrin and go to work. I'm assuming you don't want to show up after a car accident to an empty emergency room because all of the docs and nurses stayed home all week with nasal congestion.

[Anonymous]

Didn't read the thread.

I basically send my kid to school based on how she feels. If she barely can get out of bed, she stays there. If she can function and has no fever she goes. Sniffles, cough and all. I can't afford for her to miss school in her first year of this rigorous HS.

She had a cold (negative covid test twice), but no fever. I sent her every day. She eventually lost her voice, but still attended. Nobody complained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents that can keep their kids home, will. The parents that can’t, won’t. It’s been this way since the beginning of time. Learn to deal.

I also wonder if attitudes have shifted over time, or if my memories are family and region specific. Because when I was a kid, you stayed home for fevers or stomach bugs. That's it. You have a cold? Tough, you suck it up and go to school! You can't miss a spelling test! Now its, "how dare you send your child with a cold to school?!"

Were all of the pediatric hospitals at capacity when you were a kid? Were drug store shelves bare? Was there a pandemic?

She is talking about a COMMON COLD. You aren't going to need an ICU bed for a common cold. You don't need drugstore medications for a common cold. Jesus, toughen up people. No one is saying you should send your kid with influenza and a 103 fever to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids from pk to early elem. I've accepted they will have one long cold this year. Between allergies and colds it's impossible to tell and I am not taking my kids to the pediatrician weekly. Pediatricians would tell you the same thing.

Be careful about this. Twice now I’ve been truly surprised that what I thought was just a cold turned out to be strep in one instance and flu in another. And that’s actually important because in both cases, the child felt better in 1-2 days with medication (antibiotic and tamiflu). It’s super hard to tell sometimes with vague symptoms that can overlap. But I’m so glad I went to the doctor in those cases and fought that urge to just assume its a cold, for my kids’ sake.

Both strep and flu will go away on their own anyways. If your kid feels fine, there is truly no reason to rush to the pediatrician. Tamiflu isnt' even indicated for the vast majority of school aged kids. And, get ready for this, but you're more likely to die of anaphylaxis from taking an antibiotic for strep throat than you are to develop rheumatic fever from untreated strep throat in the US. I'm going to duck now, for all the shrill comments about to come my way, but do some research about it. Strep will clear on its own, and it does, ALL THE TIME.

[Anonymous]

https://www.everydayhealth.com/strep-throat/strep-throat-treatment-you-need-antibiotic/

"But strep throat is a self-limited disease that will go away on its own, says Shulman. Antibiotics are not prescribed to treat strep itself, but to prevent serious complications, such as rheumatic fever. Also, after the initial 24 hours of taking antibiotics, people can go back to work or school because they’re not considered contagious anymore, though their symptoms may take a little longer to subside."

And remember- rheumatic fever is shockingly rare in the US, despite tons and tons and tons of strep infections going untreated every single day.

[Anonymous]

People have become hypochondriacs. It is sad really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, my kids actually "attended" kindergarten via zoom and then attended first grade completely masked with "distancing guidelines" in place that prevented their teachers from helping them learn to write with any kind of hand-over-hand assistance. Now they're in second grade, wonderful readers, smart and pleasant, but they can BARELY WRITE. They were in OT as preschoolers for their fine motor skills but "virtual OT" during 2020/2021- which is what was offered- provided little assistance, as you can imagine.

So if they have a cough and feel fine, they're going to school, because AT SOME POINT THEY NEED TO LEARN THINGS. Sorry, not sorry. And my husband and I both work full time so don't @ me about how I should homeschool them or whatever.

I’m confused. You think people are doing hand over hand with your child when they are visibly ill? When coughing kids show up in my class I steer clear of them. If they ask for help I stand back and ask them what they need. I’m not going to sit six inches away from a sick person, child or adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have become hypochondriacs. It is sad really.

It’s true. A lot of people where I live in DC have developed diagnosable phobias around germs and illness. I know because I have had a phobia before and recognize the signs. I think part of the problem is that the rest of us indulged it for a long time. I am empathetic because with a phobia you really believe the danger is there, it can cause enormous anxiety. But recovery pretty much always involves some form of exposure therapy. I think this fall is that exposure therapy for many, whether they are ready or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, my kids actually "attended" kindergarten via zoom and then attended first grade completely masked with "distancing guidelines" in place that prevented their teachers from helping them learn to write with any kind of hand-over-hand assistance. Now they're in second grade, wonderful readers, smart and pleasant, but they can BARELY WRITE. They were in OT as preschoolers for their fine motor skills but "virtual OT" during 2020/2021- which is what was offered- provided little assistance, as you can imagine.

So if they have a cough and feel fine, they're going to school, because AT SOME POINT THEY NEED TO LEARN THINGS. Sorry, not sorry. And my husband and I both work full time so don't @ me about how I should homeschool them or whatever.

I’m confused. You think people are doing hand over hand with your child when they are visibly ill? When coughing kids show up in my class I steer clear of them. If they ask for help I stand back and ask them what they need. I’m not going to sit six inches away from a sick person, child or adult.

Read more closely. The teachers were not allowed to do hand over hand or help with pencil grip AT ALL in first grade because of distancing guidelines. My kids were not sick. They were in KF94 masks and perfectly healthy. And the year before they were on zoom. So yes I do expect that at some point in their lives a teacher will help them learn how to write- they work hard and they try but they need a teacher to teach them. And I pass no blame onto the teachers that couldn’t help them during K and 1st because there were rules in place. But I’m sorry if my kid has a mild
Runny nose and you won’t go anywhere near them maybe you need to find a work from home job because if you just wear a well fitted mask yourself, you won’t catch what they have. Signed, a physician who wears a well fitting mask as young children with myriad viruses spew germs into my face without masks on day in and day out and have somehow survived, thanks to my N95. You can buy them on Amazon if you’re that worried about a runny nose.

[Anonymous]

Egad, stop arguing! There’s a nasty cold/flu/bug going around that’s taking kids and adults out of commission for a week. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just a shitty illness. My two teens and I have had it and it was miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just keep in mind the kids - at least the little ones - tell us everything.

“Do you tell mommy you didn’t feel well?”
“Yes, but she told me she couldn’t stay home today.”

Or “Is anyone else sick at your house?”
“Yes, my brother threw up everything this morning.”

They tell us they took medicine, they tell us they asked to stay home, etc. And yes I have a touchless thermometer in my class and I use it. I also don’t let the sick kids do group work or come to the carpet. I feel badly for the 3 other kids at their table group.

lol. My kid says that stuff all the time. Sometimes the lies are more obvious than others, like today when he said he needed to stay home because he has a stomach bug after eating a praying mantis.

Some of the teachers are more gullible than others, though. He got sent home last week for an alleged fever, but he absolutely didn't have any sort of elevated temperature when I got him 15 minutes later and checked with my own contact thermometers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9) just tested positive for flu A on Sunday. She is going back to to school tomorrow.
She was 100% fine on Friday. Towards the end of the school day she started coughing hard. Came home at usual time and started having a fever and very sore throat. She had high fever Saturday and Sunday when we decided to take her to the doctor. He told us she was contagious two days before onset of symptoms (Wednesday- Friday) and 3 days after (Saturday-Monday). She has been fever free since Monday, but we kept her home today (Tuesday) just to be safe.
She is going back to school tomorrow. Still has a bad cough. If she gave the flu to her classmates it was before having any symptoms… not much we can do to prevent the transmission.
Kids need to get sick… that’s it.

I’m the teacher who posted above about the outbreak in my class. I wish all parents thought like you. No, you can’t control any spread prior to the development of symptoms. My concern is always for the students who come to school with symptoms: fevers, fatigue, etc. I’m comfortable estimating that I have at least 3 students (out of 120) each day who feverishly sleep at their desks. I send them to the nurse, but by then they have shared germs with the class around them. It’s exhausting and, frankly, very selfish.

You make me sick

I make you sick? I do? For what? Wishing that people could… keep their noticeably sick and miserable kids home?

I’ll be completely honest. Yes, I judge you. I judge parents who push their noticeably miserable students to school. I have 20 years of experience sending kids to the nurse. I have to stop my class and find a sub. I have to walk your crying child to the nurse. I have to comfort them when I hear “my mom says I have to come” and “my dad said to suck it up.” I watch as the nurse records temps at 102 and 103. 15 minutes later, I return to my class and resume my lesson.

This happens ALL THE TIME. I actually plan for it during flu season. All I’m asking is for parents to PLEASE refrain from sending kids with 101+ fevers to school. I don’t think I’m asking much. Perhaps parents can explain to me why this is an unreasonable request?