Be honest with your seniors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did this. HHI of 300k in the early 2000s and didn’t save a penny. And wouldn’t co-sign for private loans. Found out when I’d already gotten in to my dream school.

Where did you end up? I’m sorry, similar story here. Can’t shake the resentment, years later.

NP here, but this is similar to my story. I was accepted to Brown, ended up going to to UMD, which had awarded me a full scholarship. I have a normal MC life now, so it’s not like UMD plunged me into a life of poverty, but I’m bitter that my parents were so irresponsible and didn’t prioritize my education over designer clothing, vacations, and tithing to our church.

Wow. Entitled much?

You’re angry that your parents have to the church??

I also attempted a state school on a full ride instead of paying for a more ‘prestigious’ college. It worked out fine.

Well, if the parents are rich then the OP has a right to be a bit upset that they didn't save for college. I'd never take fancy vacations or wear designer clothing (that I paid full price for) while I wasn't already saving for my kiddos college. You wont get any aide with that income level, so it is a bit upsetting to see parents not attempting to save when they Easily could have (and it sounds like it would have been easy)

+1

You would be shocked. Some moms "need" that purse, yet, also "need" their kid to be an athlete. So unfair (to their own child), truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did this. HHI of 300k in the early 2000s and didn’t save a penny. And wouldn’t co-sign for private loans. Found out when I’d already gotten in to my dream school.

Where did you end up? I’m sorry, similar story here. Can’t shake the resentment, years later.

NP here, but this is similar to my story. I was accepted to Brown, ended up going to to UMD, which had awarded me a full scholarship. I have a normal MC life now, so it’s not like UMD plunged me into a life of poverty, but I’m bitter that my parents were so irresponsible and didn’t prioritize my education over designer clothing, vacations, and tithing to our church.

Wow. Entitled much?

You’re angry that your parents have to the church??

I also attempted a state school on a full ride instead of paying for a more ‘prestigious’ college. It worked out fine.

Well, if the parents are rich then the OP has a right to be a bit upset that they didn't save for college. I'd never take fancy vacations or wear designer clothing (that I paid full price for) while I wasn't already saving for my kiddos college. You wont get any aide with that income level, so it is a bit upsetting to see parents not attempting to save when they Easily could have (and it sounds like it would have been easy)

+1

You would be shocked. Some moms "need" that purse, yet, also "need" their kid to be an athlete. So unfair (to their own child), truly.

Oh, I'm still shocked when I see it, but it's just so hard to wrap my head around. I can buy those things now, but I also have saved and can afford to pay fully for my kid's education (and grad school if desired). But once we chose to have kids, taking care of important things for them took priority (and I define college savings as important when you make more than $200K and know you won't get a penny of FA). Even expensive "ECs" for the kids didn't happen until college savings was shored up....it's the best way to prep for their future. I want my kids to have it easier than I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many UMC parents not just come right out and tell their rising seniors that there is no way in hell that they can afford to send them to schools that cost over $XX,000 dollars?! I have at least 4 friends and family members who for whatever reason didn't save enough to send their children to anything but the most bare bones priced college, but their children who are putting together college lists don't know this because their parents haven't told them.

Is it that the parents themselves are clueless about the actual prices and/or the fact that their incomes will make them ineligible for much financial aid at the public schools?

Is it that they think somehow it will be less painful for little Larlo to learn that he can't attend Vanderbilt or University of Miami at some later date instead of before he submits the application? Are they just willing to screw their family finances and borrow hundreds of thousands $$$$$$?

What gives? These are parents who have asked those of us with students who have gone through the admissions gauntlet of hell in the past couple of years for advice, so don't tell me to MYOB.

I think you’re overlooking the fact that many tacky kids and their tacky parents don’t apply to schools they will attend — it’s become a huge bragging rights thing in the last 5 to 10 years especially. To boast you got into such and such even if you’re just going to the local public U dozens of classmates go to every year.

[Anonymous]

A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

OK, but if true, that's not a top school, which is what most DCUMers obsess about. And for $40K your kid was offering something that the school wanted (URM, first gen, athlete, instrument, etc. etc. etc.). Please don't let the DCUM readers think everyone can get a $40K merit scholarship. Our DD applied to top schools and received zero in merit and zero in financial aid. That is what usually happens to people living in the DMV area.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are clearly a very judgmental person who holds contempt for people you consider friends. Your flip comment about them not saving enough for whatever reason is pretty telling. I have to wonder how or why you seem to know so much about everyone's financials, their communications with their children, etc. Quit wasting energy on passing judgment on your so-called friends and focus on yourself and continue to pat yourself on the back.

[Anonymous]

We have saved $200K for college (1 kid going in two years, the other in 6). So we'll likely have cumulatively saved $300K by the time second kid heads to college. Our plan is to sell our $400K free and clear condo (investment prop) if we need to. I'm also doing a ton of research on scholarships and we'll apply for a ton. Gather up lots of $1-$5 grants/scholarships adds up. We don't talk to anyone about these things. OP shouldn't make so many assumptions about people's plans or finances. Lots of people have grandparents, or trusts, or crazy spinster aunts who plan to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

OK, but if true, that's not a top school, which is what most DCUMers obsess about. And for $40K your kid was offering something that the school wanted (URM, first gen, athlete, instrument, etc. etc. etc.). Please don't let the DCUM readers think everyone can get a $40K merit scholarship. Our DD applied to top schools and received zero in merit and zero in financial aid. That is what usually happens to people living in the DMV area.

Of course she didn't. If you expected merit from a "top school" you were very uninformed about the process. If families are clear on their budget and how financial aid and merit aid works, there are plenty of options but you also have to get out of the obsession with rankings. A good education can be had at plenty of schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

OK, but if true, that's not a top school, which is what most DCUMers obsess about. And for $40K your kid was offering something that the school wanted (URM, first gen, athlete, instrument, etc. etc. etc.). Please don't let the DCUM readers think everyone can get a $40K merit scholarship. Our DD applied to top schools and received zero in merit and zero in financial aid. That is what usually happens to people living in the DMV area.

Yes, not a "top school"---that is a given---Top 50 school though. Obviously, you cannot expect merit at a T20/T30 university.

Was just pointing out that if you "drop down a bit" you can find merit. My own DC could have found T100 schools that gave them 75-100% tuition--if we needed help DC would be attending one of those (or the T50 that saved $160K over 4 years). IMO, the T50 was better school than many ranked above it. Ultimately, not the best fit for my kid, but an amazing school in a not the nicest area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

OK, but if true, that's not a top school, which is what most DCUMers obsess about. And for $40K your kid was offering something that the school wanted (URM, first gen, athlete, instrument, etc. etc. etc.). Please don't let the DCUM readers think everyone can get a $40K merit scholarship. Our DD applied to top schools and received zero in merit and zero in financial aid. That is what usually happens to people living in the DMV area.

Of course she didn't. If you expected merit from a "top school" you were very uninformed about the process. If families are clear on their budget and how financial aid and merit aid works, there are plenty of options but you also have to get out of the obsession with rankings. A good education can be had at plenty of schools.

Exactly!!! My own DC with 25ACT/3.6UW had schools they could attend for $15K all in each year, and private schools that were under $30K all in---you can find something affordable if your kid has decent scores. Find privates with funding where your kid is at 80-90% and acceptance rate is over 50% and you will likely find some decent merit. Ditch the rankings and find somewhere affordable.

Btw, I consider $15k/year all in affordable. Take $5K in loans and the student can earn the other $10K during summer/breaks and working PT during school. Add in $2-3K help from family and the student could come out with only $20K in loans. Not too bad.
You just can't do this at T20 schools as they don't need to offer merit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is attending a private that cost $75k a year. She got significant merit scholarships that have us paying about $40k/year out of pocket.

That’s why.

Did you know (through Net Price Calculator or other means) that she had a good chance of receiving a significant merit scholarship BEFORE applying to that school? Otherwise - if $40K was your limit - you could have had a very disappointed kid.

Yeah, I think they just wanted to brag about the scholarship.

+1. Note also they didn’t provide the name. That’s because it’s not an elite school. Elite schools don’t have to give large merit awards in order to compose the class they want

And? So what?

My kid got $34K at Oberlin which enabled her to choose it over in-state options. It is not elite but it is what she wanted and we can afford it.

What is your point?

Do you mind sharing whether the 34K was all merit and what year it was? That would be a good number if available to us, but I had heard that 25K was top merit the last year or so.

Not PP, but my kids got 34k and 30k in 2020.

And my kid got 40K merit at a school for 2022 admission. It's different at each school
However that's at a $80K school, so still not affordable for many (for us, we are lucky to have saved enough and allowed DC to turn that down and attend a similar priced school for full pay, but if we hadn't had enough saved, they'd be at the school with $40K merit. )
And truly, there were schools my DC could have gotten even more $$$, and if we needed it, we would have had them apply to schools like that and search for the merit. Those schools do exist, they just might not be T50 schools

I think the PP may have been asking about merit aid at Oberlin specifically, so I was just chiming in. Agree that it differs depending on school and year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

I heard some parents saying it was because the loans might be forgiven. If you can get $10K forgiven, you need to take the loan in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were upfront with our daughter that she would either attend in-state or OOS public or private with merit and she had her heart set on our in-state schools. She applied early to our in-state flagship and got in and from there, applied to LACs and public colleges that give generous merit aid. She also applied to some private colleges that don't give merit aid because we had toured them and hinted that we would perhaps consider paying for Cornell. In the end, we only considered the schools that she got generous merit aid from. She has always been price-conscious and so was happy that she got into Cornell, Williams, and Carleton but didn't dwell on not going there (the preemptive chats helped with this). We decided to swing a LAC with merit aid and she's very happy there.

I don't fully understand this post -- if Williams and Carleton were not realistic options since they don't offer sufficiently generous merit aid, why tour them and apply there? What was the point?