Be honest with your seniors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

Just so we’re clear, what exactly is the SAT score cutoff for nitwit/laughingstock? And just for my research, does crummy/low bar describe the entire school regardless of department, or is it specific to certain majors?

Yeah, so I think you have a very ignorant point of view on higher education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents didn’t pay a cent for my college. I got a mix of scholarships, grants and loans. I went to grad school entirely on loans.

I don’t think a parent should limit a child.

Almost all 18-year old students are not fully capable of making a well-informed and wise decision about something like college loans that could negatively impact their lives for decades. Study after study has shown that the human brain is not fully developed until a person is well into their 20s. Our job as parents is thus to guide our kids into making good decisions, even if it may sometimes mean vetoing an option, especially when there are plenty of good educational opportunities that are more affordable.

We can full pay for our 3 kids.

Dh was a scholarship kid. I was a scholarship kid. If the student is a top student and gets into a top school, I don’t think the parent should stop child from attending a prestigious school.

Obviously If we are talking second or third tier, it will probably not be worth it to go into hundreds of thousands of debt for a school that is only slightly better than your state school.

It's not really worth it to go into major debt/'hundreds of thousands of debt" for a "top school". The parent doesn't have to "stop the student". they simple don't have to sign parental loans, as the student can only get $5K/year.

Student cannot sign loans of $40/50K per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

OMG...a serious social network and dating network?

Yes, obviously don't go to a school where only 40% graduate in 4 years (unless it's a coop school, then that's to be expected). But getting a full ride to attend a school with average SAT of 1250/1300 is spending four years with "nitwits"?!?!?! Go there, join the honors program to find kids closer to your kid's level (which is only slightly higher than the 1300 avg---1300 is still a really really intelligent person). Oh and enjoy the fact that you have no loans when you exit college. In fact, you might have been able to save and have 10-20K in the bank if you worked summers and breaks. Might even put some of that into Roth IRA and jumpstart your retirement.

I wouldn't want my kid around you or your kid with that attitude, no matter what their "test scores" demonstrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents didn’t pay a cent for my college. I got a mix of scholarships, grants and loans. I went to grad school entirely on loans.

I don’t think a parent should limit a child.

Almost all 18-year old students are not fully capable of making a well-informed and wise decision about something like college loans that could negatively impact their lives for decades. Study after study has shown that the human brain is not fully developed until a person is well into their 20s. Our job as parents is thus to guide our kids into making good decisions, even if it may sometimes mean vetoing an option, especially when there are plenty of good educational opportunities that are more affordable.

We can full pay for our 3 kids.

Dh was a scholarship kid. I was a scholarship kid. If the student is a top student and gets into a top school, I don’t think the parent should stop child from attending a prestigious school.

Obviously If we are talking second or third tier, it will probably not be worth it to go into hundreds of thousands of debt for a school that is only slightly better than your state school.

It's not really worth it to go into major debt/'hundreds of thousands of debt" for a "top school". The parent doesn't have to "stop the student". they simple don't have to sign parental loans, as the student can only get $5K/year.

Student cannot sign loans of $40/50K per year.

I got private loans for myself when I went to college and grad school. This was 20+ years ago.

I knew a woman who didn’t go away to college claiming she couldn’t afford it. Her parents couldn’t pay. I took out loans for room and board and books.

I graduated with a lot of debt but I made six figures right out of grad school and married someone I met in grad school. He earns a seven figure income now.

The pp who said your social and dating network changes is absolutely true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Fine. Send your kid to a bad school or mediocre school. I don’t care. I truly don’t care of your rationale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

I’m annoyed I read your rambling post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Just because your top school didn’t guarantee the outcome you got (true) doesn’t mean you could have accomplished what you did from Flyover State U. Because you don’t know if you would have been allowed onto the ladder you climbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Just because your top school didn’t guarantee the outcome you got (true) doesn’t mean you could have accomplished what you did from Flyover State U. Because you don’t know if you would have been allowed onto the ladder you climbed.

The pp went to a T10 school and married a spouse from a T10 school. She is full paying for her kid.

Dh and I went to t20 colleges and ivy grad schools where we met.

Dh and I come from humble beginnings and would like our kids to have strong work ethic. Don’t we all?

I’m not sure exactly what pp is arguing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

I heard some parents saying it was because the loans might be forgiven. If you can get $10K forgiven, you need to take the loan in the first place.

+100

This is why we decided to take out federal loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Fine. Send your kid to a bad school or mediocre school. I don’t care. I truly don’t care of your rationale.

No one said to send your kid to a bad school. There are plenty of great schools that are not "elite"---in fact its likely more than 75%of the people you work with attended these and similar with your friends. Again, there are plenty of great schools that provide some/good merit aide---but yeah, the average SAT might not be 1550+ and 50% of the kids might not vacation in Europe on spring break.
Then again, maybe you only socialize with people who attended "elite universities", but I prefer to have a more exciting/diverse life and where one attended college is not a "question I ask".
But hey, go ahead and take tons of loans. Just don't complain when your kid can't afford the loans and wants loan forgiveness (not my issue to pay for others that make poor choices). Also don't complain if you haven't saved for your retirement, as again it's not my issue when you choose to spend your $$ elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My parents didn’t pay a cent for my college. I got a mix of scholarships, grants and loans. I went to grad school entirely on loans.

I don’t think a parent should limit a child.

Almost all 18-year old students are not fully capable of making a well-informed and wise decision about something like college loans that could negatively impact their lives for decades. Study after study has shown that the human brain is not fully developed until a person is well into their 20s. Our job as parents is thus to guide our kids into making good decisions, even if it may sometimes mean vetoing an option, especially when there are plenty of good educational opportunities that are more affordable.

We can full pay for our 3 kids.

Dh was a scholarship kid. I was a scholarship kid. If the student is a top student and gets into a top school, I don’t think the parent should stop child from attending a prestigious school.

Obviously If we are talking second or third tier, it will probably not be worth it to go into hundreds of thousands of debt for a school that is only slightly better than your state school.

It's not really worth it to go into major debt/'hundreds of thousands of debt" for a "top school". The parent doesn't have to "stop the student". they simple don't have to sign parental loans, as the student can only get $5K/year.

Student cannot sign loans of $40/50K per year.

I got private loans for myself when I went to college and grad school. This was 20+ years ago.

I knew a woman who didn’t go away to college claiming she couldn’t afford it. Her parents couldn’t pay. I took out loans for room and board and books.

I graduated with a lot of debt but I made six figures right out of grad school and married someone I met in grad school. He earns a seven figure income now.

The pp who said your social and dating network changes is absolutely true.

No matter what “private loans” you told out two decades ago, a 17 or 18 year old cannot get student loans today because they have no collateral. Your ability to borrow for college is dependent entirely upon the outcome of the FAFSA and/or CSS. We qualified for nothing but the $5500 in un subsidized student loans. That was it. No merit. No financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Just because your top school didn’t guarantee the outcome you got (true) doesn’t mean you could have accomplished what you did from Flyover State U. Because you don’t know if you would have been allowed onto the ladder you climbed.

The pp went to a T10 school and married a spouse from a T10 school. She is full paying for her kid.

Dh and I went to t20 colleges and ivy grad schools where we met.

Dh and I come from humble beginnings and would like our kids to have strong work ethic. Don’t we all?

I’m not sure exactly what pp is arguing.

Neither do i. Then again, I'm fairly certain my success in life (along with my spouse's) is due to our strong work ethic and desire to do well and have more (financially in life) than we had growing up. We knew we had to work hard to get everything we wanted, so we did it. Getting great grades in HS was essential so we could just attend college anywhere. A college degree from anywhere in engineering would have launched me well in life. Once I got the degree, what I did with my career was 99% up to what I did, not where the degree came from. The connections I made were from ON THE JOB, never once did I need to use my college connections. Similar with my spouse. Perhaps some people from T10 universities use connections, but we apparently didn't need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Just because your top school didn’t guarantee the outcome you got (true) doesn’t mean you could have accomplished what you did from Flyover State U. Because you don’t know if you would have been allowed onto the ladder you climbed.

The pp went to a T10 school and married a spouse from a T10 school. She is full paying for her kid.

Dh and I went to t20 colleges and ivy grad schools where we met.

Dh and I come from humble beginnings and would like our kids to have strong work ethic. Don’t we all?

I’m not sure exactly what pp is arguing.

Neither do i. Then again, I'm fairly certain my success in life (along with my spouse's) is due to our strong work ethic and desire to do well and have more (financially in life) than we had growing up. We knew we had to work hard to get everything we wanted, so we did it. Getting great grades in HS was essential so we could just attend college anywhere. A college degree from anywhere in engineering would have launched me well in life. Once I got the degree, what I did with my career was 99% up to what I did, not where the degree came from. The connections I made were from ON THE JOB, never once did I need to use my college connections. Similar with my spouse. Perhaps some people from T10 universities use connections, but we apparently didn't need to.

Where was your first job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of parents (and grandparents) just pay cash along the way and many let the kid take out $5k yr in loans. It’s really not that uncommon. Uncommon is this internet myth that everyone has a fully funded 529.

$5k/year is acceptable (20K for college), but why take it if you don't need to? Why saddle your kids with loan payments if you can afford not to?

I get that most do not have a fully funded 529. If we didn't my kid would work hard during all breaks (just like I did) and work part time during university (just like I did with 2 intensive majors that I did)---note my kid will work during summers, but wont be required to work PT in college. But as responsible adults, if you are making over $200K/year, you can most likely find a way to save something, except for extreme circumstances. I don't get why people waste $$ on non-essentials when they have not saved for college. When daycare ends, funnel that $$$ into a 529. Because your kid will not likely get financial aide, so why not plan and make your family life easier for kids at college age?

$20,000 in bachelor's degree loans if your kid is majoring in business, engineering or nursing is totally insignificant. It's peanuts. And also, if they plan to pursue something in the public sector, that will be forgiven.

Yes those degrees should be able to pay back debt. However, one can also argue that for engineering and nursing where you go doesn't really matter that much. For nursing what matters is passing the NCLEX. For engineering what matters is completing an ABET accredited degree---engineering degree from anywhere will have you decently employed afterwards. So if you can go somewhere without debt, there really is no need to accrue even $20-30K for the degree.

We're not talking about $100k in debt and taking a chunk of equity out of the house. In the grand scheme of things, $20k-30k in undergrad debt to give your children a superior dating, social and professional network is well worth it. But you can go ahead and send your own kids to some laughing stock where most of their classmates fail out or take six years to complete bachelor's studies. Crummy colleges bribe you with merit and various other low-bar automatic scholarships to offset the fact that your kid will be spending four years around nitwits. There is no such thing as free lunch.

There are always people who go out of their way to say how much college name doesn’t matter. I don’t know if they truly believe this, if they have a chip or they can’t afford it.

We went to good college and grad schools and plan to send our kids to the same and can easily pay for it. Maybe if the pp studied harder and went to a better college, met someone better to marry and had better career prospects, their kid wouldn’t have to choose a worse school due to money.

Oh I can afford it thank you---fairly certain I could not "have married better" by your definition (HNWfamily by age 40, UHNW family before age 45, none of it is family money). My kid will be full pay at an $80K school, and kid turned down a $40K merit/scholarship at a similarly ranked school that wasn't the right fit. I state this as someone who can and will pay for whatever school my kids want, already have a trust set up for any future grandkids for education and for my kids aspirations (be it PHD, medical school, etc.) and $$ set aside to assist kids with first home, etc.

Oh and both spouse and I attended Top 10 schools for undergrad and another top 10 school for graduate school (graduated with a 3.95 from a T10 in engineering with 2 intensive degrees, so not an easy feat, especially when there was no grade inflation at my university 30+ years ago). So been there done that, and yes, I truly believe that there are plenty of schools that are as good if not better than the T10/T20 schools. I'm where I am today because of my work ethic and what I do at my job---obviously I'm damn good at it. As is my spouse. I worked hard to get here and where I went to college had little to do with it.

And the dating pool/socialization pool at top colleges is filled with a variety of people---some of whom are rich, entitled kids and that's not really who I'd want my kids "socializing with". I dated many like that when I was in college, but prefer hardworking, more down to earth. For now, my kids have a very down to earth set of friends and don't expect much---they prefer to live like "normal college kids", ie. ones who have to hold a summer job and can't spend $200 every weekend going out (not that I'd fund that anyhow).

Just because your top school didn’t guarantee the outcome you got (true) doesn’t mean you could have accomplished what you did from Flyover State U. Because you don’t know if you would have been allowed onto the ladder you climbed.

The pp went to a T10 school and married a spouse from a T10 school. She is full paying for her kid.

Dh and I went to t20 colleges and ivy grad schools where we met.

Dh and I come from humble beginnings and would like our kids to have strong work ethic. Don’t we all?

I’m not sure exactly what pp is arguing.

Neither do i. Then again, I'm fairly certain my success in life (along with my spouse's) is due to our strong work ethic and desire to do well and have more (financially in life) than we had growing up. We knew we had to work hard to get everything we wanted, so we did it. Getting great grades in HS was essential so we could just attend college anywhere. A college degree from anywhere in engineering would have launched me well in life. Once I got the degree, what I did with my career was 99% up to what I did, not where the degree came from. The connections I made were from ON THE JOB, never once did I need to use my college connections. Similar with my spouse. Perhaps some people from T10 universities use connections, but we apparently didn't need to.

You’re committing the exact same logical error as people who claim racial or gender privilege isn’t real because they had to work for everything they had. Of course you worked for everything you had. That doesn’t mean your privileged start isn’t a major factor in your success. And it certainly doesn’t mean you would have had the same outcome had you gone to Northern Iowa University.