Cotillion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

While some of the traditions are a bit outdated (such as dresses only for girls - I don't see why nice pants wont do), like with most things in life, we take in the lessons that work for us but not all. We are not mindless robots after all.


No. Things that are sexist are inappropriate, and should not be supported with your $. Would you feel the same way if the rule was that kids should only ask kids of their own race to dance? If not, what do you see as the difference?



To me the dressy clothes are the uniform for the activity. Would my son prefer to show up in athletic gear 100%, but he wears what is required and if he refused we would not go.
I imagine for a variety of reasons cotillion is not for everyone and that is OK. There are lots of activities that are not for my family. The stories I have heard about travel soccer frustrate me and sometimes even make me angry, so my family does not support it. But I don't ask other families to justify to me why they do.

That said, in terms of OPs asked I wanted to share our experience. Many people seem to be ruling it out without knowing much about it. Therefore, I thought the perspective of a family who participated would be helpful to OP.

Got it. You are ruling out travel soccer (which both my girls play) based on "stories you have heard" about it, but you are totally fine with an organization that forces girls to wear gender stereotyped clothing (which is completely different than comfortable athletic clothing that your son might prefer).

I've never understood this. If my DD likes dresses and enjoys wearing them, then why should she be looked down upon for that? It's equally OK to embrace your gender as it is to reject it. Anything else feels a lot like misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

While some of the traditions are a bit outdated (such as dresses only for girls - I don't see why nice pants wont do), like with most things in life, we take in the lessons that work for us but not all. We are not mindless robots after all.

No. Things that are sexist are inappropriate, and should not be supported with your $. Would you feel the same way if the rule was that kids should only ask kids of their own race to dance? If not, what do you see as the difference?

it's also not inclusive to anyone who is questioning their gender or sexuality. Yes this does happen in Middle School.

Again, I repeat, so what? If a child is that tormented by Cotillion, s/he should definitely not attend. My kids (boy and girl) both enjoy it or at least tolerate it and look forward to being with their friends. How does this possibly harm or disturb you?

[Anonymous]

Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

My daughter is at ballet class right now. Should she leave using those parameters - I doubt you’ve needed to do ballet either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

My daughter is at ballet class right now. Should she leave using those parameters - I doubt you’ve needed to do ballet either.

Ballet/dance is a "sport" and is great for kids to keep moving and keep in shape.

The waltz hasn't had any value since the 1800s in Austria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

Nobody learns those thinks because they have to, but because the like to, and it gives them pleasure. So, they need a place to learn it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

I say this in all sincerity: You have no idea what you are missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

My daughter is at ballet class right now. Should she leave using those parameters - I doubt you’ve needed to do ballet either.

Ballet/dance is a "sport" and is great for kids to keep moving and keep in shape.

The waltz hasn't had any value since the 1800s in Austria.

I’m pretty sure all forms of dance is an art. I support the arts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

My daughter is at ballet class right now. Should she leave using those parameters - I doubt you’ve needed to do ballet either.

Ballet/dance is a "sport" and is great for kids to keep moving and keep in shape.

The waltz hasn't had any value since the 1800s in Austria.

I’m pretty sure all forms of dance is an art. I support the arts.

Then why don't the boys and girls do krumping, turfing, and jerkin' in cotillion? {crickets}

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

I say this in all sincerity: You have no idea what you are missing.

100%

[Anonymous]

I did this starting in 4th grade. I went to Potomac School in the 80s. I think it was Ms. Shippens or Mrs. Simpson’s. I would love my boys to do it but I’m not sure I could drag them in while they are kicking and screaming. Maybe my younger one. But I don’t know where to start. I think it was by invite back in the day. Nobody at my kids’ school (NOVA Catholic) seems to be doing anything, at least that I’ve heard about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

While some of the traditions are a bit outdated (such as dresses only for girls - I don't see why nice pants wont do), like with most things in life, we take in the lessons that work for us but not all. We are not mindless robots after all.


No. Things that are sexist are inappropriate, and should not be supported with your $. Would you feel the same way if the rule was that kids should only ask kids of their own race to dance? If not, what do you see as the difference?



To me the dressy clothes are the uniform for the activity. Would my son prefer to show up in athletic gear 100%, but he wears what is required and if he refused we would not go.
I imagine for a variety of reasons cotillion is not for everyone and that is OK. There are lots of activities that are not for my family. The stories I have heard about travel soccer frustrate me and sometimes even make me angry, so my family does not support it. But I don't ask other families to justify to me why they do.

That said, in terms of OPs asked I wanted to share our experience. Many people seem to be ruling it out without knowing much about it. Therefore, I thought the perspective of a family who participated would be helpful to OP.

Got it. You are ruling out travel soccer (which both my girls play) based on "stories you have heard" about it, but you are totally fine with an organization that forces girls to wear gender stereotyped clothing (which is completely different than comfortable athletic clothing that your son might prefer).

I've never understood this. If my DD likes dresses and enjoys wearing them, then why should she be looked down upon for that? It's equally OK to embrace your gender as it is to reject it. Anything else feels a lot like misogyny.

Lots of girls including mine like dresses, and its great for them to embrace their sense of style. That's not the issue. Its an issue when an organization requires a certain "uniform" like dresses for a girls. Some, even CIS kids, may not be comfortable in a dress. Even our school's chorus offers a dress AND several pants styles for females.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never once in my 52 years have I needed to dance the foxtrot or waltz.

My daughter is at ballet class right now. Should she leave using those parameters - I doubt you’ve needed to do ballet either.

Ballet/dance is a "sport" and is great for kids to keep moving and keep in shape.

The waltz hasn't had any value since the 1800s in Austria.

I’m pretty sure all forms of dance is an art. I support the arts.

Then why don't the boys and girls do krumping, turfing, and jerkin' in cotillion? {crickets}

Maybe they do - have you ever been to cotillion?

[Anonymous]

Our NOVA Catholic had 10-12 per year at Cotillion. There are two in the Alexandria area that we went through a few years ago. There were kids from a big mix of schools and backgrounds. DD met some kids there for the first time and they still get together. As someone pointed out earlier in the thread the biggest bonus is interacting with out electronic platforms. With my 3 DC it was harder to get them to go in the first few years but easy in MS.

And they did more than the waltz and foxtrot- a bunch of line dances, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our NOVA Catholic had 10-12 per year at Cotillion. There are two in the Alexandria area that we went through a few years ago. There were kids from a big mix of schools and backgrounds. DD met some kids there for the first time and they still get together. As someone pointed out earlier in the thread the biggest bonus is interacting with out electronic platforms. With my 3 DC it was harder to get them to go in the first few years but easy in MS.

And they did more than the waltz and foxtrot- a bunch of line dances, etc.

I can think of so many other activities that don't involve "electronic platforms" ... sports, scouts, debate club, best buddies, tag, biking, volunteering, and on and on