My DD changed her mind on her ED school

[Anonymous]

She is committed to it and will stick with it, but she recently realized she made a mistake in picking the school and wishes she chose something else. She has been very sad about it which has been hard to watch. I think she just changed/evolved since early Fall when she applied. I'm not sure how to help he with this. I hate seeing her so upset about something that I thought she would be excited about. I suppose she could transfer at some point but just seems like a depressing way to start college by thinking about transferring already. I don't really have a question. But I do think that some kids change (mature) a lot between the beginning of senior year to the end, and that ED isn't always a good idea because of this. Just something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Could you be more specific about what she doesn’t like about it?

[Anonymous]

I sympathize. ED does put unfair pressure on applicants and their families too early in the process. It only helps the college, so its a one-sided process.

[Anonymous]

Did she get accepted anywhere else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she get accepted anywhere else?

She did get some other acceptances although she has declined them at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you be more specific about what she doesn’t like about it?

She basically doesn't like the location, the size, the atmosphere. She wishes she had picked a completely different type of school. Not much she can do about it but it's just a bummer. I regret her doing ED. I wish she had done RD and had a few schools to think about.

[Anonymous]

Do people just do it for rank?

We did not for this exact reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people just do it for rank?

We did not for this exact reason.

For a lot of SLACs, if you’re requesting financial aid you’re in for a bloodbath in RD.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. Not to criticize, but my DC also didn't do ED -- even though it would have been a leg up at the school that seemed most promising -- because they hadn't seen enough to be confident just limiting to a single school. Sorry your DC felt pressured into that. It's not ideal, but maybe encourage them to think as if this was the safety school they applied to RD?

[Anonymous]

Don't you think it could just be nerves? The only thing that changed is she got in. Sort of a buyer's regret because of the upcoming huge change in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is committed to it and will stick with it, but she recently realized she made a mistake in picking the school and wishes she chose something else. She has been very sad about it which has been hard to watch. I think she just changed/evolved since early Fall when she applied. I'm not sure how to help he with this. I hate seeing her so upset about something that I thought she would be excited about. I suppose she could transfer at some point but just seems like a depressing way to start college by thinking about transferring already. I don't really have a question. But I do think that some kids change (mature) a lot between the beginning of senior year to the end, and that ED isn't always a good idea because of this. Just something to think about.

I feel for your daughter.
Many kids change/mature during senior year, so having to commit to one college so early can be tough.
I imagine our kids matured more this year - the last 1-2 years seemed like a social stall for some of them, because of the pandemic, and being virtual for so long.

Also with the pandemic, many of our kids didn’t get to visit as many schools as they would have, making it hard to know what you want.
Hopefully she’ll be pleasantly surprised in the Fall but if not, she can transfer.
Try to help her remember the good things about the ED school and why she was attracted to it originally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize. ED does put unfair pressure on applicants and their families too early in the process. It only helps the college, so its a one-sided process.

It helped my dc get in where he wanted and early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think it could just be nerves? The only thing that changed is she got in. Sort of a buyer's regret because of the upcoming huge change in her life.

Yes, I do think it's part of it. It's going to be a hard transition for her all around. Just wish she was more excited about her choice in college instead of feeling the buyer's regret. Would help to ease the nerves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is committed to it and will stick with it, but she recently realized she made a mistake in picking the school and wishes she chose something else. She has been very sad about it which has been hard to watch. I think she just changed/evolved since early Fall when she applied. I'm not sure how to help he with this. I hate seeing her so upset about something that I thought she would be excited about. I suppose she could transfer at some point but just seems like a depressing way to start college by thinking about transferring already. I don't really have a question. But I do think that some kids change (mature) a lot between the beginning of senior year to the end, and that ED isn't always a good idea because of this. Just something to think about.

I feel for your daughter.
Many kids change/mature during senior year, so having to commit to one college so early can be tough.
I imagine our kids matured more this year - the last 1-2 years seemed like a social stall for some of them, because of the pandemic, and being virtual for so long.

Also with the pandemic, many of our kids didn’t get to visit as many schools as they would have, making it hard to know what you want.
Hopefully she’ll be pleasantly surprised in the Fall but if not, she can transfer.
Try to help her remember the good things about the ED school and why she was attracted to it originally.

Thank you for the kind words. I do the think the pandemic and the social stall you mention absolutely played a part in this and that she changed a lot in the last 6 months.

[Anonymous]

I would write a letter to the school. I cannot imagine that they want a depressed child there. I bet that they will let her out of her agreement. Maybe at a cost but they will