Anxious about pregnancy - 19 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I have had two back to back difficult OB appointments. I have no pre-existing conditions, aside from being AMA. Each time my OB had a hard time finding the heartbeat on the handheld doppler. At 16, he eventually did and said it was the baby's position/size. Today, he had to take me to the Ultrasound room for a sono. There he was able to locate the heartbeat and felt satisfied with his findings. He thinks it is positioning more than anything, but these appointments have completely shaken.

I have a 20 week scan next week where I know we will learn more. So far, all of my genetic screenings and tests have come back normal. I have felt fine through out the pregnancy, minus early morning sickness. This is my third baby - I have had no previous losses and while I tend to be on the DC side of anxious, I am usually able to find comfort after seeing/hearing/feeling the baby. Now I am just a mess of emotions and don't know how I will make it through the next week. Anyone BTDT?

What has helped you get through wait periods? Aside from running to the nearest private ultrasound office?

[Anonymous]

Truly don’t mean this snarky but as someone who has gotten much worse news in many doctor’s appointments than the “wait” to find a heartbeat (while having all tests come back in the clear no less), and having managed to get through, you really need to learn to manage your emotions or get professional help. Pregnancy isn’t always a walk in the park. Either is motherhood, which I’m sure you know. Adjust your expectations.

[Anonymous]

You can talk to your OB about getting a referral to see someone for your anxiety. I continued taking my anxiety medication during my second pregnancy and it was a life saver.
Next week you’ll probably have a great, perfectly normal ultrasound which I hope will set your mind at ease!

[Anonymous]

Yep. I dealt with infertility and, especially with my first pregnancy, I was absolutely convinced that something was going to go wrong and I would lose the baby. Completely normal, healthy, uneventful pregnancy, but the anxiety drove me bonkers.
As crazy as it seems, the only thing that got me through it when my anxiety got bad was the knowledge that there was absolutely nothing I could do (beyond the usual eating right, not drinking, getting great prenatal care, etc) to affect the outcome. Understanding that, in the end, it was out of my hands.
Also: distractions. So many distractions. Books, mindless tv, crossword puzzles, conversations with friends. I think my anxiety was less with my second pregnancy because I was so distracted with caring for older DD and juggling early pandemic issues.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the prior post. Having had a prior miscarriage, I kept thinking something could go wrong. I also have a posterior placenta, which took longer for me to feel the baby. I kept trying to think ahead and at baby registry items to prevent myself from thinking the worse.

In your case, I'm sure having your Obgyn not find the heartbeat right away didn't help. And having to wait a few weeks to a month for that next ultrasound is brutal at times. As you get further along, feeling baby movement hopefully helps. Also, make sure you feel confident in your obgyn. I just switched obgyns as my prior one wasn't a good fit for me.
My prior obgyn made me feel nervous after each appointment and wasn't very helpful or respectful in answering my questions.

Good luck. And please don't listen to the first two snarky comments. Pregnancy for many can be a nerve wracking experience.

[Anonymous]

I'm 18 weeks and have a lot of anxiety too. I attribute it to years of infertility and prior losses, but maybe I'd feel this way even without my difficult past. Like one of the prior commenters said, I remind myself that the outcome is mostly out of my hands. For me, meditation, prayer, my therapist, talking to friends, taking good care of myself, exercise, and generally appreciating the good things I have in life are my tools to battle my anxiety. I still have bad days, but I work on it all the time. I also remind myself that when I have a baby there will be other things to be worried about, so I work on addressing my anxiety in healthy ways as much as I can now. Hope you start to feel better. It's not easy.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Find ways to manage those strong emotions or seek help in doing so. I have the same waves of thought, but I do not let them take over. I sit with the emotion, allow myself to feel it and wash over me. Then give myself several affirmations and reminders (these thoughts are not who I am and can lead my human thinking brain to dark places of I let them, I already have a healthy beautiful child, so many women go through this and far worse and they still get through it, I have more valuable ways to spend my time, worry will never change an outcome, only make the waiting for it miserable, t is my choice what to spend my thinking time on and I choose hope and love, etc)

[Anonymous]

Get a home doppler

[Anonymous]

Deep breaths; ignore the snark. At 37 weeks I had a bad scare with a wonky brain measurement because DD was in a weird position. She also played cat and mouse at the specialist’s office a couple days later, but it ended up being fine. I’ve had miscarriages before so I was very nervous but always went back to the fact that everything was out of my hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a home doppler

Do not do this. You have a baby where positioning makes it hard to pick up on the heartbeat. This is a recipe for panic attacks and midnight trips to L&D

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a home doppler

Do not do this. You have a baby where positioning makes it hard to pick up on the heartbeat. This is a recipe for panic attacks and midnight trips to L&D

+2
In your case, OP, I absolutely would NOT do this.